Ask Gram'pa "Spike" for advice

Okay, first of all, NO idea if this is in the correct place. But I've been wanting to do it.
Secondly, here's the man's character sheet, if you'd like to know a lil more about him.

Rules:
1) You can ask as a character, or as yourself. Gram'pa Spike will respond to any and all
2) In case you didn't look at his sheet, please bear in mind that he's old, probably has ADHD, a certified lawful chaotic, and lives to confuse people. Your advice will reflect that.
3) Gram'pa Spike reserves the right to refuse questions

A small table, set up on the side of the road. A man sits there, elbows rested on the white tablecloth, wearing a military uniform from an era long since passed by. He sits with one leg swinging, green eyes ablaze with some sort of primal energy usually reserved for people a sixth of his age. He must be nearly a hundred. His muscles have long since vanished, but he still holds that toughness in his wiry frame. These bones don't break easy.

Atop the table, is a simple message to the world:
Ask me anything, get advice from a decade of decades.
- Form a line
- No pushing
- Once you get your advice, get out, you only get one
- Okay if you really need more, join the back of the line again
- Everything has meaning, and the end is coming, I ain't got all day

ps: please don't let this go nowhere, I genuinely want to share this man's questionable wisdom with the world

Allison sit at the table with him. "how do I have someone fall in love with me?" she was very attractive.

"Fall in love, eh? Huh. More trouble than it's worth, if your askin' me, which you are. What do you want them to fall in love with ya for? Don't answer that, it's a rhetorical question." Gram'pa Spike eyed her up and down critically. "Just the other day my great grandson was askin' me the same question, and I told him, 'Well you listen here Fox, because first off you're too young to worry about all that, and secondly you can't even do basic math.' A shame, I say, our family's always been good with numbers, but hey, love him anyway. So I get to telling him, 'If you want someone to fall in love with ya, ya gotta figure out who you are, what you are and where you are. No one can stay in love with a wishy-wash.'
"So he asks me, 'Well where are you Gram'pa?' And I'm telling him, "I'm where ever I wanna be,' and he asks, 'where are you right now?' Smart kid, I tell ya. Anyway, I say to him, 'Somewhere between Diogenes and John Wick.' And YOU, young lady, need to figure that out about yourself, then go forth and give no-"

Gram'pa Spike paused. "Given' that I don't know how old you are, I'll hold that thought. Alright, I think I've said my piece. That's your answer."

I'm 25. Also I have 1 more question. I think I fallen in love with my enemy, what do I do?"