Character issues

I have an issue with one of my characters and I want to know if 9 paragraphs for background is too much.

This character is very incomplete but I will link him here:

I feel that the background is a bit long, I would place most of that into the Notes section. I feel background is usually where a character grew up, what their family was like, what school they went to, etc. Most of the story and bits about the Great War would fall under notes.

Also, I'm intrigued by the "World War II, but with magic" story you've got going on, but the names of both the characters and places feel too on-the-nose. I feel that you should go with a more Orwellian approach, giving them less innocuous names and relying more on their actions and mannerisms.

Oki doki thanks for that.

Yea still just trying to figure everything out right now so. Yea.
(Awkardly side shuffles away)