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characters ripe for critiquing

Deleted user forum 4 comments schedule
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person_off
Deleted user

id really like for someone to help me out, i feel like my characters are very stereotypical and not good, so if anyone wants to choose a character and tell me how to work on it, that would be great…if you've got any questions, just ask.

just choose who you'd like to critique, it doesnt matter who you choose. thanks for the help.

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Okay, so:

Mikayla:

  • So for the mild depression/no longer on antidepressants, did she stop taking them cold turkey, or did she ease off?
  • It's cool to see a chef character in a story!
  • If she is a skilled chef, though, she's probably likely to have a chubbier physique because of food
  • The arrogance doesn't totally fit with the character, however this is just a character profile so I'm sure you'll have it more fleshed out in the story!
    Carrie:
  • 'Doesn't care about much' and 'loves people' don't really work well together as traits
  • Maybe add some more flaws to her, I could see recklessness being a big one?
  • By the 'she doesn't mean anything by it' comment, is she sarcastic without realizing it, or just is sarcastic for fun?
    Devin:
  • Anxiety and cockiness tend not to be common together, however it does make sense if he's so nervous about not being good enough that he acts like he's better than everyone
  • I wish I had the talent to keep plants alive!
  • The phrasing for 'pops his fingers' makes it seem like he dislocates his joints for fun, it's not a big deal just something I noticed
    Cooper:
  • 'Champagne brown' doesn't really work as a description, maybe it's just me but I always picture champagne as being clear with a creme color and bubbles, and that doesn't really translate to skin
  • You're absolutely right on the haircut section and THAT'S THE TEA!
  • I like his personality, but shy and imaginative aren't really flaws, they're more of inconveniences in this situation

Questions in general:

  • What sort of universe is this? I got a post-apocolyptic vibe from it but I'm not sure
  • In general, they're not stereotypical, but they could all use more flaws. A handy thing to remember (and no shade, I need help with this too sometimes) is that if you have to say 'too' in front of it, it's not really a flaw. For example, 'too selfless', 'too caring', etc. They can work as flaws, but they need more genuinely bad flaws added to the mix.
  • Are these the only main characters, or are there more?
  • Who/what are they fighting against?
person_off
Deleted user

Mikayla:

  • she eased off
  • im gonna add in a part about her being really self conscious about how she looks, so that she does her best to stay healthy and fit
  • i forgot i put an arrogance part in there, im gonna take that out
    Carrie:
  • yeah i know they dont really go together, im trying to figure out her personality more
  • yes absolutely shes very reckless
  • sarcastic for fun
    Devin:
  • im not great with mannerisms lmao
    Cooper:
  • think i see champagne brown as a light brown, ,,and also i thought that was eye color not skin color
  • THE TEA HAS BEEN SPILLED
  • yeah definitely, im just not creative enough to come up with actual flaws.

Answers:

  • its a weird twilight zone type situation where everyone in the world disappears except for these four people
  • yes, flaws are really hard for me, and all of characters need to leave their mary sue stage soon, thanks
  • theyre the only main characters, but im gonna have a few more people show up along the way
  • they arent really fighting against anything except for a few situations, but the story is about them trying to make it to a more populated place and the end is gonna be grim but thats how i do things,,, so,,, yeah…..
group
@evastardust groupRRAAAARRL
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Oh cool!