Hey guys! I've finally decided to man up and put myself out there. I'd love any tips you can give on how to make my character, Jesse, feel more real/fleshed out. Anyone want to give it a shot?
Finally Putting a Character into Use, Critique?
Jesse looks very well-planned and purposeful. I really enjoy his character a lot ^.^
All of the critiques I'm going to state are just suggestions and they should be taken lightly, as in the end it is your decision to change and/or revise your character or keep him how he is.
*He does seem like he should at least have an anxiety disorder of sorts from what I could gather, seeing combat and being on the run. But ultimately it's up to you.
- Specific hairstyle (ex. bun)? What type of hair does he have (ex. coarse)?
- What were the scars from?
- Why does he have the tattoo? Has he tried to deface it?
- How did he gain his talents?
- Why does he have those hobbies?
- How did a 24-year-old end up being a mercenary that early in life?
- By "average waster education" what level are you referring to (ex. late elementary)?
- What time period is this?
- Something happened to the formatting of his backstory where the words are spaced out, hard to read, and go off the page. Maybe take a look into fixing this issue? If you can't figure it out then we can alert moderator @andrew (Our Supreme Lord and Overseer) to the issue to help fix it.
- What kind of pet is Dogmeat? How did he come to get this pet and name this pet that way?
Something happened to the formatting of his backstory where the words are spaced out, hard to read, and go off the page. Maybe take a look into fixing this issue? If you can't figure it out then we can alert moderator @andrew (Our Supreme Lord and Overseer) to the issue to help fix it.
@Kev Did you copy/paste the backstory from elsewhere, by chance? It looks like it has some kind of formatting (e.g. from Microsoft Word or something) and we preserve formatting from copy/pasting from elsewhere, so that might be why it's looking wonky. I'll work on a fix to keep text in the box where it belongs, but you can also try removing the formatting yourself; the easiest way is probably copying and pasting the text into Notepad (which doesn't support much formatting), and then copying that text and pasting it back in (and/or pasting back in with cntrl+shift+v to strip all formatting upon pasting). That should work for you if you want to fix things yourself, but I'll try to get a site-wide fix for this kind of issue in tomorrow. :)
@andrew (Our Supreme Lord and Overseer) I did! I'll try your fix. Thanks so much.
visually this character seems kind of boring, average height, white, lightly stubbled, sounds like just about most adults that I know.
@RedTheHopeless I forgot to thank you for your critiques! It really helped me to flesh Jesse out and I found things about him I hadn't even know myself. Thank you so much for putting the time and work into giving him a good critique.
You're welcome @Kev , I'm glad I could help! :D