I'd be willing to critique your character

Can you do my pony? Snowjon Stane Ederia

(Hi! Is it okay if I drop off another character??)

Why yes of course. You can do as many as you want, just one at a time, please.

Can you do my pony? Snowjon Stane Ederia

@KHS-SunGod-The-Charger
Snowjon Stane Ederia:
oOoo I've never critiqued a pony before, this should be fun

Clothing
This is nice. Very few people add a clothing section on their character sheets and it's even more interesting considering its horse/pony attire

Looks
You use really good descriptive details with his body and hair; I can very visibly see Snowjon.

Nature
You've got a lot written here, and that's good to a degree, but you seem to repeat that he's angry a few times. I think describing it once is enough. For example, you list being angry as a hobby. I'd refrain from doing that as it may either be a personality trait or a health condition. Other than that everything else here seems to be pretty good.

Social
Everything seems pretty good here

History
I like how you added a "family line" even though it wasn't completely necesary, very interesting.
However, in his background, I'd add a little portion to describe the time he's in. Because in today's world "attack pon(ies)" aren't really needed so if his story was in an earlier time-frame that'd make a lot of sense.

Anyways, Snowjon is very interesting and his story seems interesting. Good job and good luck on your future writing <3

-Davis

Oh, thank-you so much! ^^ I'll make sure to improve him using your advice :D
Could you do his rider as well when you find the time? ^^

Awesome, thanks in advance oppy!

Here’s my boi Kai for you to take a peak at!

(I promise I'm working on your critiques, I've just been out of it this weekend. Sorry, hopefully, they'll be done by tomorrow)

(No worries!!)

I know you're busy but if you have any time could you critique my character?

@Oppy-is-tired thank you so much!

Oh, thank-you so much! ^^ I'll make sure to improve him using your advice :D
Could you do his rider as well when you find the time? ^^

@KHS-SunGod-The-Charger
Java Ratan Stane

Clothing
Again, this section is really nice

Looks
I'd describe his hair a little more. What you have is nice, but you might wanna go into detail about the texture of hair, how greasy it gets, where the part is, etc.
Also, Java's body type seems a little lacking. Sure, you say he's a little muscular, but where? You said Jav is a rider so he probably has big forearms. Just something to think about.

Nature
try not making a bullet list for something as important as his personality type. Instead, try describing his personality in paragraphs or something.
How do his flaws affect him? You say he's prideful, but how so? Does he get boastful after beating someone in sword-fight? Does he get prideful during battle and that throw him off? How is he single-sighted? Does he only focus on one thing at a time? Does he not take criticism and/or the opinions of others well?

Social
He serves no job? Even as a prince?

History
Probably go a little more in-depth with his background

Overall you have a pretty solid character here. I hope I was able to provide something at least a little helpful to you. Good job and good luck.

-Davis

Awesome, thanks in advance oppy!

Here’s my boi Kai for you to take a peak at!

@Celestial-Burst
Kai Shore
Oh, boy, do I love this character. Even the meaning of his name is cool.

Overview
There's a typo in Kai's "Other names" section

Looks
Everything seems to be pretty good here. The only thing I'd say is to maybe describes his hair a little more. Does all of it end around his neck, or are his bangs a little shorter? Where's his part? When you say messy does that mean wavy, a little curly, full of knots and lumps, oily, etc.? But otherwise, good job here.

Nature
Mannerisms: Try describing how he reacts differently when his emotions shift. What does he do when he's mad? What about when he's happy?
As for flaws, I really like how they're sweet and to the point, good job.
You broke rule number one in Kai's personality section. Everything was really really great until you brought his anxiety. To put it simply, anxiety isn't a personality trait. Avoid using conditions as personality traits, especially anxiety. They go in the conditions section.

Social
Everything seems good here; nothing to say.

History
Holy cow his background caught me so off-guard
I was just vibing to some chill music and then I read it… oh dear
Still, pretty good despite it being incredibly shocking.

Family
So like, did he name his pet fox after his dad or…? I dunno, maybe I'm nitpicking but it's whatever.

To conclude, I really like Kai. He's super cool and I'd like to see more of him. Good job and good luck <3

-Davis

(Thank! I’m glad you like him haha, I’ll definitely go fix some of those things!)

Thank-you!! THis is so useful, I'll definitely be making those changes!! ^^

@Oppy-is-tired
I would like to get your critique on my character, Witch, if you are so inclined.

I know you're busy but if you have any time could you critique my character?

@salami011
Nicholas Norman
After reviewing Nick I can tell you've put some thought into him and his story seems interesting

Looks
Upon looking here I couldn't find anything wrong or in-need of improvement so props to you for that.

Nature
His motivation could use a little work. It’s really simple and I’d recommend explaining how he wants to be accepted.
Also, multiple motivations are a really good thing to consider in a character. Like for example, I’m guessing since he started piano at a young age it was probably implemented into his regime by his parents. You could explain that he wants to become a great pianist to try and impress his parents and feel like a “model child” similar to his older sister.
Motivations can go a long way if you really plan them out, and I’d recommend that for Nick.

Adding “Fears” in his flaws was a good idea; good job.

Good job on his hobbies. I like how you incorporated several smaller hobbies instead of a couple really big ones. That really makes a character seem real.

I see this a lot for some reason, but try avoiding listing off different things in his personality section. Instead, try describing his personality in sentences or even paragraphs. Indirect characterization is a really useful tool for a writer and I’d recommend using it on Nick’s character sheet.

Social
Nick’s “Job” section really makes me feel like I’m missing out on an important detail. Who exactly is Thomas and why does he need to be “look(ed) out for”? Why does Nick feel inclined to look out for him? When reading Nick’s character sheet that definitely feels like something that should be included about his character.

History
Good job with his background

Hope I was able to be at least a little helpful. Good job on Nicholas and good luck on your future in writing.

-Davis

Thank you! That's so helpful and I'll definetly incorporate those suggestions into his character.

Thank you! That's so helpful and I'll definetly incorporate those suggestions into his character.

Yeah no prob <3

If you're not busy can you critique, Eri Eri Sayuri

@LilMeme
Eri Sayuri

Looks
Probably just an accident, but you describe Eri’s body shape in her “hair style” section. And while on the topic of body shape, the description for this is quite vague. While yes, people can visually understand “hourglass”, it just doesn’t give much descriptive detail so I’d recommend working on this.
As for her ethnicity, maybe I'm stupid but how can a Nephilim be Japanese (not too familiar with what Nephilim are so this could just be my mistake).

Nature
I'm not sure what "quirks" are supposed to be but they all would seem better in Eri's "mannerisms". And now after looking at Eri's nature, everything is really bland. You give no descriptive details about anything, instead you just go down a list to describe her which is quite ineffective. Her talents also seem unrealistic, like where and when did she learn to pick locks??

Social
Nothing to say here.

History
Her background is super hard to read and even seems unrealistic in some parts. For example, why would her father, who claims to love her, give her a taser as a gift? Out of all things. Him, a rich and powerful CEO, gave her a taser? And how would her mother even get custody of her in the first place? You mentioned she was a criminal, abusive, and poor. There is no way she would’ve gotten custody of her.
Also, the name “Asumi” just comes up out of nowhere. It took me a solid 5 minutes to realize that Asumi was Eri’s cousin.

-Davis

@Oppy-is-tired
I would like to get your critique on my character, Witch, if you are so inclined.

Witch
So since this is, I'm guessing, a video game character this critique may be a little different. At first glance Witch seems pretty interesting.

Appearance
So this section is actually really nice. It gives a nice, brief, detailed description of Witch's appearance. Good job.

Nature
I try describing a little more here. Whether if it's how she acts as a companion, her mechanics in-game, combat style, or how much damage she does/how much she's able to heal the player. Regardless, there should at least be a little more here.

History
This is fine and dandy I guess. Good job.

Lines
This is very cool and I appreciate this.

Good luck on your game

-Davis

Thank you!