aidan
hes cute :0
is he a demon?
changing his eye color to black would prob make his color scheme flow better
why is he motivated by his orders? is he happy to serve or is he scared of what'll happen if he doesn't
wouldn't punching people be more effective as a weapon than powers that can barely kill a bug
human children as fav animal oof
idk he's pretty good!
mountainmoth
her weight could be a little off but idk
i like her design but i have NO IDEA whats going on lol
what's her backstory? why was she chained up?????????? and sold???
@Emmy
what you have as mannerisms go into personality. what makes her personality strong?
her motivation isn't long-term. why does she get her work done?
she's impulsive but when? big decisions? or is it small like impulse purchases. either way, she needs more than one minor flaw to be a real-seeming character
having no prejudice is very hard also
was she not born into a religion? do faes have their own? i feel like she could be human because it doesn't seem at all like she needs to be a fae considering her timeline seems like it's not changed by the fact that faes exist
also for background? ur supposed to write things like what her childhood is like and what she's done in her life
Okay, thank you, I just started notebook.ai today, so I really needed this. :)
Also, I just wasn't quite sure what to put for prejudices yet. :)
@sadgirl Thanks for the feedback. I'll see what I can do, especially with the politics. Thank you!! This helped a lot!! What do you think about having her learn to open up to people throughout the book instead of her never telling anyone her feelings?
@Syguy20132
LUX
his preference on a ruler is not a prejudice it would go in politics
he's cool! a little bit of an edgelord so smoothing out some bumps are all i can think of to improve him
also his red hair streak thing doesnt seem to me to go with him at all? his personality and physicality
how'd he get his scar?
thats all i can think of for him so far
also jason's link goes to lux too jus fyi
Sorry about that. My tablet can be a bit idiotic at times. Here's the link to Jason's character page. Jason Oliver Flayme
Lux got his scar from a sword fight. He was forced to dive onto his own sword to retrieve it.
@Ok_Kaii
SORRY FOR BEING SO LATE AAA
we love a short ripped king
imo he'd be entj considering his ego but idk
i rlly like him?? he's really developed and a pretty strong character. i cant think of much else to add :9
Late as hell to the party but hey please look at my girl I just finished polishing her up yet again…
Here she is <3 Thanks!!
Go all out :)
@mellowlynea
i'd love to critique her but she's not public! pls turn that setting on 4 her :)
@sadgirl
Ach sorry! I'll do it stat!
Invalid Character here!
@mellowlynea
thank youuu
i love her SO MUCH
what does she do when she's nervous? (for mannerisms)
she's really well developed but whats her backstory? why is she a cartographer? why does she leave all the time???
@sadgirl
THANKS <33
her backstory can be seen (or some of it) in the story of her homeworld!
here ^^
I haven't added her nervous habits yet, or how she deals with conflict - it'll come! Her backstory is also to be added… Suffice to say it was quite a ride! She leaves all the time because her job is to map every dimension in the known universes, so she can't stay for long! Her position as a cartographer was a given because of her skills and strong sense of adventure…
Can ya'll critique my villain? I loooove designing broken characters but I wanna make sure that she's ready before I start writing her scenes. Genevieve Brayen Everlest
@ samwhich
i think you're all set! just describing more of her underneath the evil, broken, self-hating character would really make her seem more realistic.
i can't tell if she just doesn't eat a lot or if she genuinely has an eating disorder, in which case maybe make that clear.
Can you do mine, please?
Otis:Otis Hartford
Abram:Abram Hartford
Annika:Nicole Genevieve Layton
I was also wondering if you could tell me how to make Otis more shy, almost broken. It seems like I write him as too peppy around Annika. How could I change that? And how do I give Abram more depth or give Annika a character flaw?
Here’s Wes: Wesley Emmett
Chance
I know that there’s nothing in prejudices, but I’ll fix that soon :)
Can you critique my character Solstreif? Solstreif Jordbrukare
https://www.notebook.ai/plan/characters/576405/edit Hey can you critique my supporting character here?
