I'll Critique your characters!

Oh I see, I just got a bit confused because i've never heard that term used before to explain that. I usually just hear 'distance themselves' or 'build a wall' or something like that

Hi. I have a character I'm writing for what I hope to one day be a book, and criticism would be appreciated. Althea Draco

Oops I think I fixed them:

@Ionnielei
Sure! And thats funny, my class just got through reading the play about her and were going to watch the movie next week

For her race, I think its okay that you put white, but I think putting 'Caucasian' in there along with that would be good too! Her mannerisms are good. Hmm, can you think of any other flaws she has? Doesn't she often speak over others and interrupt them? Especially with her mother. I think you should put her background in there, I believe it will help you out! :3

I think you've got just about everything down pact! Good luck with the musical!

@"Zinnia Beanz" Your character is on private! Please turn them off and then i'd be glad to give 'em a critique!

Can anyone critique? I spent a lot of time on this character's back story so I hope its okay.

^ it's

Just gonna leave this here along with my hopes and dreams

Hey could you critique one of my characters

Oops, my bad; still learning how this website's social media side. You can also look at the universe she's in if you'd like, but that's still an incomplete work in progress with a lot of reading to do.

@I.j Green
yep! I'll go ahead now!

First, Han! How short is his hair exactly? Maybe add a bit more to his mannerisms. What does he do when hes nervous or scared? How about excited? Does he have any more flaws? Is he dependent? Absent-minded? Proud? Selfish? Good prejudice, it makes sense. In politics, you say he follows no one except his father, does that mean his dad is a politician or involved in politics? His background is okay, but it can use a little more meat in it. Who were his siblings and how was his relationship with them? What about his parents? Where were they when they were killed? How did he feel about their death? How did his new father find him? Where did he go when they died? Did he have any friends or pets?

Now, Leola! I think you can give her a little more flaws too! She only has three that you mentioned. You said why she is against men, but why is she against humans?? Her background is also a little small. What happened to her mother? Does she know who her real father is? Does she have any friends? How old was she when the man found her that night? Anything happen in her childhood that made her the way she is now?

Good luck and hope I helped!

I'd appreciate it if you could check out my wolf OC, Solarflare :)

@@NothingHappened871 Sure!

They switch from male to female? Does that mean they are genderfluid? How do they want people to call them as? Their real name? Hunt? They/them? She/her? How long is her hair when its down? To her lower back? Elbows? Higher? Well hold up now, a 32 b cup is not almost flat chested lol. It might be a bit smaller than most boys would like, but its definitely not flat. You want a small breast size? Go down into the As and AAs, that is a small size. Why does she always wear that silver band? Is it important to her or does she just like it? I think you should give her a few more mannerisms! What does she do when shes scared? What does she do with her hands when shes bored? How does she walk and talk? I thin her flaws could use a bit more too. Is she over-emotional? Dependent? A pessimist? Nosey? Naive? Hmm her personality traits is interesting. So she has two personalities? I'd think that depression would stray into the happy-go-lucky personality as well since that is a mental disorder or a disease or whatever you'd like to call it that stays in the back of your mind no matter what you do, though it can leave for a while and come back at random. Also you said 'This is the side she usually is when she is other people.' That is a bit confusing. When does her personality change? When she is with certain people? Or does she just wake up one day and its the opposite one? Is there no politics in her world? How does their world function then?? Why is she afraid of her mom getting into her laptop? Is she hiding something or does she just not want her mom touching it? There are no animals on the planet? Like no creatures or anything? What do they live off of because you said they are basically like humans except they live longer, which means they have to live the same way humans do and humans have to live off of meat! Whoa so she only ate fruit? How did she manage to live? Wow did her dad hurt his hand that bad? To be in a hospital for 11 months plus 6 months of rehab? Thats quite a while for a hurt hand if you ask me. So does she have PTSD from her dad? And what happened to her other sister? Did she go along with Lynn while all this happened?

I really like her! I think you have a good character on your hand and if you just fix up a few things, she'll be good to go!

@Celestial-B Thanks soooo much for the critique! It means so much to me!

1. I'm an idiot. Yeah, she's genderfluid.
2. She is Lynn to normal people, but Julian calls her Hunt (You'll learn more about her later hopefully)
3. I'll flesh out the mannerisms and special objects
4. She is a realist
5. It's weird. Don't ask me how, it's her brain, but her happy side sort of cancels out the depressed side of her and makes her happy for some reason. She doesn't get it either, but she got pretty good at controlling her emotions over the years. This is how she controls her emotions. She tries to be the Happy Lynn that everybody knows her to be so she practically forces herself to be happy.
6. She has no stand in politics since she is not over 21 (21 is the voting age on this planet). The planet has no politics itself, all of the government is run on FXN-01 where the prime minister has been making sure everything ticks since for 11 years now.
7. She doesn't really trust anybody with her secrets at all since she grew up with quite the dad., which is why she wants to keep it away from her moms. Her laptop has everything she has ever vented, everything she needed to keep away from people, all conversations with her internet friends, and literally everything else. Her laptop is practically like her unattached heart. She doesn't know what it is, but she has this weird thing in her laptop that looks like a silver key with a piece of opal near the handhold. It's weird because she can physically pull it out of her laptop, but can't carry it too far without it returning to the laptop. And nobody else can see it when she pulls it away. This is actually the key to Everything.
8. No animals or trees except for artificial grass and trees. They don't need the animals because, on top of every building, they have a carbon dioxide to oxygen converter that makes sure everyone gets oxygen.
9. All food is shipped into the planet
10. Yeah, her dad fed her fruit and bread. In his old-fashioned delusional brain, this seemed okay. She was quite malnourished as a child, and when she stayed with Sarah and Lizzy for almost a year, that was actually the year she grew to her height. She was very small for her age until that year when she grew five inches.
11. He cut his hand. His hand got severely infected. Him being the stubborn man he was he wasn't going to let that stop him. He got to the hospital and was very weak. They had to put him on antibiotics to fight the infection that would have killed him otherwise. He was weakened so much that he had to learn how to use his hand and walk and pilot his vehicle again. So yeah, quite the hurt hand.
12. Yes, she does have PTSD now that I think about.
13. Lynn has a sister? Did I accidentally put that in there somewhere? If so, where, so I can fix it?

P.S: The court isn't able to prove he abused her, which is why he got Lynn back a few times.

P.P.S: If I made a spelling error anywhere in there, I am sorry and will fix it when I notice it.

Thanks so much for the help!

@Paperok :D

How long is his hair? What color of brown are his eyes? Chocolate? Mocha? There are plenty of different shades of brown for people to get confused! I suggest giving him more mannerisms! What does he do when hes nervous? How about when hes scared? When hes confused or even excited? How does he talk to others? I think you should also give him more flaws. One flaw just wont cut it. Is he Paranoid? Obsessive? Indecisive? Egotistical? Disloyal? There are so many flaws for your character to have and yet there is only one! Why doe he hate laboratories and scientists? He used to be a smoker? Like how long ago, hes only 17. Like 15, 16?? Also, what is team 37? His background is a little small. What happened to his mom? Did he have any siblings or friends? Where there any other people in the lab being raised by Rio? Why does he keep him in the lab?

Good luck!

@@NothingHappened871 Well you mentioned that her dad had a child with another women before her so I thought that would be her sister but I may be wrong idk

@Dobithebear Sure!

Wait, they are on private! Please turn them off of private and i'd be happy to critique them!

can you critique one of my antagonists?
Here's the link: Cordelia Fontaine

Thorn thanks!

@LavenderZo Sure!

How long is her hair when its in the braid? Is it to her lower back? Lower? Higher? And what shade of blue is her eyes? There are plenty of colors of blue for people to get confused. Are they navy blue? Sapphire? Ocean blue? Baby blue? Where did she get that wound from and how long has she had it for? No mannerisms??? That is a big red flag! A mannerisms is 'a habitual gesture or way of speaking or behaving.' For example, 'cracks knuckles when nervous' or 'mumbles when she doesn't want to talk to someone' and think like those. Mannerisms are thinks that make people more human! I think you can give her more flaws. Villains and antagonists especially have a lot of flaws. Is she Arrogant? Deceiving? Impatient? Petty? Confident? Untrustworthy? Those are some common flaws villains and antagonists tend to have! No prejudices either? Prejudices are things that make characters more realistic!! A prejudice is 'a preconceived opinion that is not based on reason or actual experience.' For instance, my villain is very egotistical, her prejudice is 'she believes that she is better than everyone…' and blah blah blah, you get the idea lol. No personality trait either!?! This is for basically summarizing her personality. You've got her flaws down, but no good down! So put down both the good and bad in here! She doesn't have any politics? She's got to have some type of opinion, whether it be she things some laws are stupid or she supports the rebelling group or peoples or something. She can't eat? Why can't she eat now but she used to? Her backstory is kind of… short. Why did she move with her cousins? What was her relationship like with her many siblings and parents? What was her relationship like with her cousins? Did she have any close friends? Any pets? When did she marry this man and who is he? What happened that made her the antagonist? Oh, I noticed something, you mention that her wedding day was supposed to be the happiest day of her life, what changed that??

Anyways, good luck with the characters and the story, hope I helped!! <3

@Wyvern np!

Mmm hes a sneke boi ;o lol. Ooh he has a tennis ball? Interesting. Does he have any more flaws? Is he blunt? Disloyal? Envious? Immature?? No government? How do the people of your world even live??? theres got to be someone around there making rules and telling them what they can and can't do! His background is a bit small. Does he have any friends? Siblings? Idk add some more stuff!

I love Thorn he is beautiful <3

Came back with two!

• Kenshi:

• Madeline:

@Elsie Your character is on private! Please turn them off of private and then i'll be able to critique them!

@Winter Ok!

First, Kenshi! He is quite underweight without his armor!! A 6'0 male should be around 160-195 lbs! How short is his hair? Is it buzzed? About normal-ish length? No eye color? Have you just not figured it out yet or is it unknown throughout the story? He has good mannerisms, I just think you should add a few more. What does he do when hes nervous? How does he talk to people he dislikes? What does he do when he is bored? No prejudice? A prejudice is 'a preconceived opinion that is not based on reason or actual experience.' So for example, hating a certain race because he was told they were bad people, would be a prejudice! Prejudices are important in character development! His background is okay, but I think you should add a bit more! Its pretty small!

Ok, now, Madeline! Wow! She is reallllllyyyy small xD. If she is that small, she should only be like 60 lbs… which I don't think is very healthy for a 27 y/o unless she is literally a midget, so I suggest you look into that. She can still be small and be 4'10 or around there! What shade of pink is her hair? Bubblegum? Pastel? Magenta? And how long is it in the pigtails? To her shoulders? elbows? Lower back? Lower?? No prejudices again? I suggest putting one in! Ehh, her background is also pretty small. Did she have any close friends or pets as a child? What was her relationship like with her parents? Elaborate more on who killed her sister and when.

Good luck with the characters and stories! Hope I helped you! <3

@Celestial-B Will you be critiquing my character? I turned it off private a while ago, is it working now?

Oh! @Zinnia Beanz So sorry! I completely missed it! I'll do it first thing tomorrow after I get up. I have to go to bed rn!

Alright @"Zinnia Beanz", sorry it took me so long, I didn't have time to do it between when I woke up and school

Alright, first, I see she doesn't have any weight. Is that because you aren't sure? The average weight for someone her height is around 120-160 lbs, high up if she is muscular! Good motivations(seems like an interesting story), good mannerisms. In her mannerisms you say she doesn't like to speak and rather would let her actions speak for her, yet you say she is good at speaking in large crowds. I think that if someone would not want to speak, they wouldn't be very good at talking to others from lack of experience. Her royal sword is her favorite weapon, when did her mother give it to her? Right before they were turned into demons or a while before that? Her background is kind of bare. How many siblings did she have exactly? Did she get along with them? Did she have any pets? What was her relationship like with her parents? Did she favor one over the other? Did she have any close friends? If not, were her siblings the only friends she had? I kind of want to know more about what happened when her family was turned to demons and by who exactly! So maybe put some more of that in there.

Sorry for the wait, hope I helped and good luck!

can you do the main character of mine? Adrianne Rhea Carson