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I made a villain but she doesn't feel mean enough...

@Torpion language forum 11 comments schedule
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@Torpion language

Here she is:

Important details: This story is 200 years into the future. She's a genetically enhanced "supersolider" which means that she was born in a lab and raised as a soldier. Her parents just donated their DNA to the armed forces. They don't even know each other, much less, her. So she didn't really have any parental figures other than her teachers. As a supersoldier, she doesn't have the same rights as civilians and that makes her a n g e r y

Also, her ID is way to hard to remember so you can just call her 54 if you want, lol

Also if you have any more questions or ways I can improve her, pleeease lmk

Thanks guys!!!

@Yamatsu

You're certainly right on her not feeling like a villain. In fact, I think she has about as much motivation and drive as a protagonist! So in this case, what cause her to become "evil?" Not every antagonist is kicking puppies and taking lollypops from babies, so what causes her to be at odds with the protagonist? Jealousy? Money? Some potential family conflict? All villains are people with their own goals and hobbies, and I think you've captured this portion very well. Now you just need something for her and the protagonist to fight over.

If you want it to turn a bit angsty too, try confusing her beyond comprehension. Maybe she hates the parents for "creating" her and wants to destroy them. Or maybe the villain feels the need for vengeance for a dead mentor and chooses the purest, most innocent person to exact that revenge on. Ooh, what if she hates the mentor that died, and decided to hurt the surrogates for them? Just throwing out ideas!

book

Why does she need to be mean? What if instead of a villain she was an antagonist? Like Javert and Jean Valjean who were both trying to be the best they could be but had very conflicting moral systems.

Caboose

I think if you want to go for more of a mean personality for her I think to make her the most violent person would help. She has the right motivations but (not every single action part with her just a few) she doesn't have to but she resorts to brutal violence as the answer, I'm talking really shocking realistic violence. Like it would only have to happen once or twice to establish her as unhinged and unpredictable. So give her the opportunity a few times to lash out but only let her a couple of times and another one that's entirely unexpected like mid-conversation.

She sounds like a desperate pissed off person looking for a life. That should be a very dangerous thing to get in the way of for anyone. You can make anyone with a loose moral compass likeable.

So say a commanding officer (Someone she trusts) found about her old flame with the ginger guy and purposefully sent him away and she finds out this person took away a piece of her life to make her less human. She confronts them and is given the option on the spot. Maybe she's in their office eyeing the room for anything she can kill him with or maybe she's holding back waiting for a good time. Maybe she only gets this person towards the end. But hey it's an idea. Have fun writing this character, cause I sure as shit enjoyed reading about them.

@Rover3672

My only question is do you want the reader to sympathize with her? Do you want to have a chance for her to be redeemed? Almost like Mr. Freeze from Batman, he has a good motivation but the way he wants to reach that goal is very bad. He has chance for redemption and us as a reader feel bad for him but Mr.Freeze is still a villain.

Sorry if this doesn’t makes sense

group

A villain huh? Well, a similar example I feel like is the Winter Soldier from the Marvel movies, but that may be a problem. If you want her to be EVIL, maybe you should think about the measures she would take, to obtain the thing she desperately wants. How would she react if it was right out of her reach? Who would she harm to get it, and who wouldn't she? If you ever have seen Maleficent, King Stephon is quite a jerk, he would hurt his own daughter to "protect" her from the "evil" Maleficent. So is that the extent she will take? Or does she have more of a heart? Hope this made sense!

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@Torpion language

Wow you guys! Thank you so much! All of this is super helpful, I'll be sure to make some additions to her character :D Thanks for taking the time to read through her profile, I really appreciate it- Btw, @Caboose, I'm actually really digging your last idea, I'm probably gonna make that canon πŸ‘Œ All of your suggestions were awesome- I'm thinking I'm gonna make her more bitter, violent, and maybe even unpredictable- She clashes with the protagonist because she get assigned to take him out, but I wanted to make their first encounter more scary, so I'm really grateful for all the advice you guys gave me.

Again, thank you all so much!!!

@Rover3672

Np my guyπŸ‘ŒπŸ‘ŒπŸ‘Œ

group

No problem! I like to think about things like this for fun XD

book

Tips nonexistent hat Always glad to be of service!