You can find all 8 of my characters in my profile, Ill post a link to my character page as well!
https://www.notebook.ai/users/215231/characters
You only have to do one of my characters though, if you already see one critiqued here, please try to do a different one. I want a general critique of all my characters.
Characters that have been Critiqued:
Optis Kazure Cook
Not really a critique as much as it is a spelling mistake I found
Naifoko Tabekata
ナイフォコタバカタ - this spells Naifoko TaBAkata
ナイフォコタベカタ - would be the accurate kana for that romaji
group
Let's do this!!
So I looked at your page for Optis and I quite like him! Even if his background isn't fleshed out, I can tell he's a very interesting character. For the politics portion, it says "N/A" which is fine if politics don't apply to your world, but it would still be interesting to see if he's more on the socialist "everyone deserves to live" side or anything else. I absolutely love the drawing of him, it's so detailed and just *chefs kiss. Honestly, I would be lying if I said I didn't find him attractive.
Again, I can't ask much because I'm sure you're working hard on his backstory, but I would love to know what this curse that was put on him does and how his mother died. Where did the Demonfire Blade come from? How did he find and adopt Okime (and where can I find and adopt Okime 😅) I'm not demanding, these are just things you could consider putting in his background!
So this: Invalid Character is Jordan. He's still a WIP but I would love some critique on him so far. This was so fun!!
Let's do this!!
So I looked at your page for Optis and I quite like him! Even if his background isn't fleshed out, I can tell he's a very interesting character. For the politics portion, it says "N/A" which is fine if politics don't apply to your world, but it would still be interesting to see if he's more on the socialist "everyone deserves to live" side or anything else. I absolutely love the drawing of him, it's so detailed and just *chefs kiss. Honestly, I would be lying if I said I didn't find him attractive.
Again, I can't ask much because I'm sure you're working hard on his backstory, but I would love to know what this curse that was put on him does and how his mother died. Where did the Demonfire Blade come from? How did he find and adopt Okime (and where can I find and adopt Okime 😅) I'm not demanding, these are just things you could consider putting in his background!
So this: Invalid Character is Jordan. He's still a WIP but I would love some critique on him so far. This was so fun!!
Hey! I appreciate the feedback! Me and my partner have been working on Optis's backstory for a while now, and this really helps!
For Jordan, I love his design! It's interesting he's named after a river, and that he seems very neutral on whether he does good or bad. A few things I would say, maybe you could expand on his current talents a bit more? In my opinion, is just a bit vague, but Im also a very detail-oriented person, maybe you could add what other weapons he might do worse with, and a bit of a description on his power along with that flaws/talents area so that it can be a pre-written description before an actual description of his powers, leaving the person reading the bio interested to know more! A good example Ill throw your way is my Character Kneel! He's my most descriptive character, but he has a race background and everything! It'd be interesting to see a bit more small, not as important details be added on for some more unique taste to Jordan than there already is! Otherwise, Jordan is really well constructed, and Id love to see the story that comes along with him! ♡( ◡‿◡ )
