Incorrect Quotes 2: Electric Boogaloo

Grady: You often use humour to deflect serious trauma.
Clive: Thank you.
Grady: I didn’t say that was a good thing.
Clive: What I’m hearing is you think I’m funny.

Lucius: Tell Aristotle about the bird and the bees.
Byron: They’re disappearing at an alarming rate
Lucius:….not exactly what I meant, but alright.

Clyde: So I’m bi-
Everett: Oh?
Clyde: -lingual, bilingual. I can speak two languages. English and French, you know?
Everett: Oh.
Clyde: Uh, I also like guys.
Everett: OH.
Why have a love triangle when it could be a polyam relationship instead?

Fortune: We're doomed.
Ezra: Well, you’ve lived a good life, right?
Fortune: I'm thirteen!
Ezra: I said good, not long.

Emily, to Mara: Because I love you. I think. No, I'm pretty sure. Yeah, I love you
Emily: Okay. I'm gonna go
Emily: Catch you later, silly billy
this could go both ways, they're so dumb and I love them

The best kind of couple tbh

Hex: Who doesn't want to be powerful? Who doesn't want blood sacrifices made in their name?

Gracelyn: You look tired.
Jesse: I didn’t get much sleep last night.
Gracelyn: Were you doing something cool?
Jesse: Does worrying count?
Gracelyn: No.

Clem: Hey, did you sleep okay?
Gracelyn: No, but I drank four cups of green tea, so I think I can do this.

Gracelyn: We're doomed.
Jesse: Well, you’ve lived a good life, right?
Gracelyn: I'm eighteen.
Jesse: I said good, not long.

Hex: How are you?
Jesse: Do you really care?
Hex: Not really.

Jesse: Jail's no fun, I'll tell you that.
Auria: You've been?
Jesse: Once, in Monopoly.

Clem: You often use humor to deflect serious trauma.
Jesse: Thank you.
Clem: I didn’t say that was a good thing.
Jesse: What I’m hearing is you think I’m funny.

Jesse: Tell Delphinia about the bird and the bees!
Gracelyn: They’re disappearing at an alarming rate
Jesse: [nodding intently]

Delphinia: Okay, I've called you all here because some of us don't seem to get along.
Gracelyn: Hex and I are literally the only ones you invited.

Jesse: Wow, who died and made you king?
Sybella: My dad.

Tabitha: Who doesn't want to be powerful? Who doesn't want blood sacrifices made in their name?

Hank: Hey, did you sleep okay?
Simon: No, but I drank four cups of green tea, so I think I can do this.

Byron: We're doomed.
Erik: Well, you’ve lived a good life, right?
Byron: I'm twenty three.
Erik: I said good, not long.

Geneva: How are you?
Jackson: Do you really care?
Geneva: Not really.

Ceza: You often use humor to deflect serious trauma.
J.B.: Thank you.
Ceza: I didn’t say that was a good thing.
J.B.: What I’m hearing is you think I’m funny.

Grady: Okay, I've called you all here because some of us don't seem to get along.
Hank: Clive and I are literally the only ones you invited.

Douglas: Wow, who died and made you king?
Nathaniel: My brother.

Jane: Isn't it a bit dangerous?
Clyde: Jane, come on. I've been in a lot of unexpected predicaments before and I always escape unhurt.
Jane: …
Clyde: Okay, I sometimes escape unhurt.
Jane: …
Clyde: Alright, I escaped unhurt once, then got hurt on the way home.

The Director: This is a very powerful artifact. You'd be messing with some forces we don't fully understand.
Kay: That sounds like a dare to me!

Ms. Dollon: At first I thought you were foolish and incompetent.
Kay: My apologies for whatever misstep I may have taken to dispel that impression. It was an honest mistake, I swear.

Carrie: Just be careful, Fox.
Nich: I'm always careful, Kit. It's everything around me that's careless.

Anton, on the phone: Just snap his kneecaps and he'll talk, I'm at a parent-teacher conference.
Anton: Anyways, you said Katya is enjoying finger painting? That's great.

Jackson: Five little monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and…
Geneva: Was diagnosed with mesothelioma.
Jackson: Mama called the doctor and the doctor said…
Geneva: You might be entitled to financial compensation if he or a loved one dies.

Alessandra: It feels like I'm always saving your ass!
Percy: It's an ass worth saving!

Maura, looking at a map: It’s a barren, featureless wasteland out there, isn’t it?
Vittoria: Other side, Mikkels.

Addie: I panic when people compliment me. What the hell am I supposed to say when people compliment me?
Kay: Great job on the exam today, Addie!
Addie, panicking: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Beck: Do you guys sell happy meals?
Server: Yes.
Beck: Yeah, can I get that without the meal?
Server:
Beck: Please.

Casey: I mean, come on, a big crowded party, social interaction…this must be your worst nightmare.
Beck: My worst nightmare's Canadian geese, try again.

An emotion: Pokes its head through the mountain of suppression Vittoria buried it under
Vittoria, beating it with a stick: Back! Back!

Grady: When did you get your driver's license?
Simon, starting the car: Oh, I didn't.

Clyde: I'm incredibly fast at math.
Everett: Alright, what's 30x17?
Clyde: 47
Everett: That's not even close.
Clyde: I said I was fast at math, not good at it.

Hazel: You don't have to be so humble.
Alyssa: But seriously, I'm not so good at it.
Hazel: Well you're the only one here who knows CPR and they're dying, so-

Samuel: I don’t judge people.
Also Samuel: Blocked. Blocked. You’re all blocked. None of you are free of sin. See you in hell.

J.B.: Oh, I never brag.
Carey: You once called your face "proof of a higher power's existence."
J.B.: It's not bragging if it's true.

Byron: How are you?
Oscar: Do you really care?
Byron: Not really.

Ethan: I’m going to hell.
Minnie: Probably.
Ethan: I'll pick you up?
Minnie: (nodding) Carpool.
~
Reese: Could you please go to the shop and get a carton of milk? If they have avocados get six.
Ethan, coming back from the store with six cartons of milk: They had avocados!
~
Sage, planning a group disguise: You cannot be Blake Bortles.
Ethan: Fine! Then I’ll be Jake-
Reese, under their breath: Don’t say Jortles.
Ethan: Jortles! And I work at the molotov cocktail department.
~
Minnie: The results are in, I’m afraid you have updog…
Reese: What’s updog?
Minnie: Ethan! Get in here, I told you I could do it!
~
Minnie: We can bake these cookies at 400 degrees for 10 minutes or 4,000 degrees for 1 minute.
Sage: No, that's not how you make cookies.
Ethan: FLOOR IT!!
Minnie: How about 4,000,000 degrees for 1 second?!?
Sage: yOU'RE GONNA BURN THE HOUSE DOWN-
Minnie: I'M GONNA HARNESS THE POWER OF THE FUCKING SUN TO MAKE COOKIES!
Ethan: DO IT!
Sage: NO-
~
Reese: I am darkness. I am an power. I am your worst nightmare. I could kill a man in more ways than you can imagine. I am the night. I am fury, I am a weapon, I am-
Minnie: A babey.
Ethan: A cinnamon roll.
Sage: A sweetheart.
Reese:
Reese: …stop it.
~
Reese: What’s up with Minnie? She's been laying on the floor for like….an hour now?
Ethan: She's just a little overwhelmed.
Reese: Why?
Ethan: Sage smiled at her.
~
Sage: I don't follow the rules. I follow dogs on social media.
~
Minnie: Yeah I'm LGBT.
Minnie: cu(L)t leader.
Minnie: (G)od hates me personally.
Minnie: cow(B)oy hat.
Minnie: (sniffles) (T)rying my best.
~
Ethan: (pulls a glass a water from out of nowhere)
Reese: Where did you get that?
Ethan: My pocket.
Reese: How do you keep a glass of water in your pocket?
Ethan: Skills.
~
Minnie: We have fun, don’t we, Sage?
Sage: I have never been more stressed out in my entire life.
Minnie: That's the spirit.
~
Reese: I think my guardian angel drinks.

Soul: Who doesn't want to be powerful? Who doesn't want blood sacrifices made in their name?

Tomorrow: How are you?
Feather: Do you really care?
Tomorrow: Not really.

Feather: At first I thought you were foolish and incompetent.
Tomorrow: My apologies for whatever misstep I may have taken to dispel that impression. It was an honest mistake, I swear.

Redwhisker: Do you guys sell happy meals?
Server: Yes.
Redwhisker: Yeah, can I get that without the meal?
Server:
Redwhisker: Please.

Soul: I mean, come on, a big crowded party, social interaction…this must be your worst nightmare.
Ebon: My worst nightmare's Canadian geese, try again.

Soul: I am darkness. I am an power. I am your worst nightmare. I could kill a man in more ways than you can imagine. I am the night. I am fury, I am a weapon, I am-
Shade: A baby.
Neve: A cinnamon roll.
Feather: A sweetheart.
Soul:
Soul: … stop it.

OHHHH that one is 100% Sparrow, hold on:

Simon: You know, people say that Disneyland is the happiest place on Earth, but they're wrong because they've never been in Sparrow’s arms.
Jett: Of course we haven't been in Sparrow's arms, she's hecking mental.
Cornelius: She's my friend, but one time I accidentally bumped into her and she pulled a gun on me.

Dottie: You know, people say that this city is the happiest place in the galaxy, but they're wrong because they've never been in Niklos' arms.
Clive: Of course we haven't been in Niklos' arms, he's absolutely crazy.
Grady: He's my friend, but one time I accidentally bumped into him and he pulled a knife on me.

Hazel: Which is correct: seven and five is thirteen or seven and five are thirteen?
Jane: Neither.
Jane: It’s twelve.
Hazel:
Hazel: Goddammit I’m that gay

Morgan: Do you want me to answer as a friend or a therapist?
Jackson: As a friend
Morgan: See a therapist.

Pietyr: I love it when I talk and no one listens to me.
Pietyr: Reminds me of home.

Hank: Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls.
Clive: I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated, this is awesome!

Levi, to Simon: When I was little, my brother would beg me to put him in a pillow case and swing him around.
Levi: I know it's insane, but the only reason I'm telling you now is because we're adults now and my parents can't lose custody of us.

Learning how to play never have I ever
Jane: Never have I ever failed a test.
Clyde: Okay, that's good. But try something a little more edgy, like never have I ever seen a dead body.
Everett: Takes a shot
Clyde: No, the idea is that you're supposed to take a shot every time you have done something.
Everett: Yes, I know.

Finley: Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? No, a summer's day is not a bitch

Finley: Do you want me to answer as a friend or a therapist?
Mara: As a friend
Finley: See a therapist.

Emily: in my room you will find a shoebox
Emily: in that box there is a guinea pig. that I said I would bury
Emily: so please deal with it
Lilly: there's a corpse in your room?!
Emily: alright guys, well thanks

Sage, on the phone: Where are you?
Minnie: I’m at the hospital.
Sage: Are you okay?
Minnie: No.
Sage:
Minnie:
Sage:
Sage: You wanna eLABORATE???

Ezra: Sometimes I have to remind myself that the British don’t measure time differently than us.
Puppet: They don’t???

Victor: Sometimes I have to remind myself that the British don’t measure time differently than us.
Henry: Wait, they don’t?

Silvie: You have to apologize to Bas.
Clare: Fine.
Clare: Unfuck you or whatever.

Tabitha: The Director is going to kill us!
Hal: Not if we kill her first.
Shel: NO ONE IS KILLING ANYONE!!?

Della: Looks like you're gonna have to gaslight gatekeep girlboss your way outta this one!
Teagan: Omg so true bestie!!
amy (the most wonderful woman in the world): What the heck are you saying-

Oliver: I have to tell you something

Ivaan: So you're a vampire? Knew it

Oliver:..no I was going to say I loved you but alright-

Andor: Physically I'm here, but mentally I'm at the combination Pizza Hut and Taco Bell.

Adelia: why are you guys out in the rain?
Caleb: I like splashing in the puddles!
Gerard: I’m trying to get hit by lightning!

Dallas: hey Andor, when did you get your drivers license?
Andor: my what?
Ara in the back seat banging on the windows: LET ME OUT

Taven: Wow Keyla, is there anything you can't do?
Keyla: Gather the courage to say I'm in love with you.
Taven: . . . what?
Calidor, screaming from three feet away: SHE SAID SHE'S IN LOVE WITH YOU