Aaaahhhhh as usual you have the best words of advice, thank-you so much!!
(okay, so, bear with me here. I'm going to back myself into a corner and we're going to just let it happen, okay? okay.)
A lot of the small flaws and prejudices built into Boa's character seem incongruous with his massive levels of empathy. Temperamental - understandable, but he holds himself back because he's afraid to hurt others? I would expect him to hold back because his processing power mixes with empathy and soothes the anger as he starts to consider their side of the story. Having a temper to begin with is a little strange to consider, but since that's more of a basic emotional thing, I totally get it.
Ahhh, yes, you have me there! xD That's what i get for slapping together a character in a day I suppose xD I'll admit, that part was based off me a little as a child, but yeah, doesn't fit with him very well. I am NOT very empathetic at all, so there you go ^^
And then his prejudice! Boa is the kind of highly empathetic person to recognize and work through his prejudices. Much like with anger/temper, I understand a more basic, ingrained prejudice. However, given Boa's massive empathy, I don't understand how he could dislike a person without hearing their side of the story. It's the same issue with black-and-white morality: why wouldn't he hear their side of the story.
I do need to explain this one more, I feel. I got a little lazy putting it down ^^ With those two traits of his, it comes down more to do with he's never met a miner, or anyone who would agree with them, so he never hears their side of the story. In his limited social interactions, he's grown to take their words for everything, and since the nobility he's known have never been anything but virtuous and kind, it's never crossed his mind that they have the option NOT to be. If he ever talked to someone who lived in the mining community, he'd change tunes in a heartbeat, no doubt, and with some real world experience, he'll learn that just because he knows good people, doesn't mean they're all good. I hope that clears it up! (And makes sense xD) These two really have to do with him just (almost unintentionally) growing up in a very small, near gated community, who all share the same opinions.
Next issue: you can't have a perfect character. And you didn't, until I critiqued almost all of his flaws. Welcome to the corner! Given that we know you can't have a flawless angel character, I would advise you to take the above critiques with a grain of salt. You don't have to scrap these traits (if you're feeling it, you could rework his flaws completely, but you don't have to) but you should balance his personality. Boa needs an end point for his empathy, some kind of line that he draws. Once he has limits in everyday life, it'll make more and more sense that he can foster a prejudice or hold black-and-white values.
Thanks very, very much, this gave me a lot of ideas on how to improve him! Having an end-point on his empathy is a great idea, I never would have thought of it <3
History!!!!
(for starts: go OFF. obliterate the cruel system and how it forces you to choose between family and economic stability. we are living in a machiavellian economic hellscape)
(Haha thank-you xD Yeah, that's always been one thing I really hate TwT I kinda made this culture a bit of a 'F you' to some of America's systems, ngl)
History was a JOY to read and I am not joking at all. That was awesome!!!! There was so much worldbuilding!!! Of course, it's me, so I have a couple notes:
Eeeeee thank-you!!! :D Just wait till you get to Valen's haha
First up, HOW did Boa do well in training?? This sounds like a very tough-love scenario, and this is a spoiled only child who canonically can't handle criticism. If he did well there, I'd expect him to have grown better at accepting criticism, which doesn't seem to be the case. How did he manage to flourish in his Sentinel training without losing confidence or even having the occasional breakdown?
Yeah, again, I think this was a case of me getting a little lazy, you're totally right xD Canonically, (supposedly if I can figure out how to show/integrate it), he's getting over his sensitivity, slowly and surely. While he probably did get slightly special treatment, because of who his father is, I do need to go back and add in more about how his confidence was shook'd and changed/built up via the training. Thanks for pointing it out! <3
And then… the empathy. Boa's most major trait. Where does it COME from? I tend to find that empathetic people can relate because they understand, and they've been through a similar incident. Boa's had an incredible, happy life up to this point. As kind as open as he can be, how well can he really understand what the people around him are feeling with so little experience? Not just know it, but really understand.
…Is empathy a hereditary trait? I legit have no idea. That was my idea but i could be SO wrong. I'll have to look into that more!
Okay!! That's all I have for you tonight. Boa is a really, REALLY good character!! I think you need to consider where you're going in terms of balance, but beyond that, he's great! It's always wonderful to have you by the thread, and of course, I hope that these notes are helpful to you!! :DD
Ahh, this was such a joy to read, as always :D Thank-you SO much for your time and critiques, you caught everything I never would have >w< I especially struggle balancing out characters I really love, and I know that showed through with Boa. (Hopefully less so for his dad, buuuuut…We'll see xD)
