Send characters and I will give you feedback (Closed at the moment)

i'm struggling with making my newest character, Ashley, feel more fleshed out and human so some critique would be nice!

(don't mind the messy art, it's just a placeholder until i finish her portrait!)

Hi! Sure sure, and the art is lovely btw dear, no worries! Some I noticed is you don't have an exact age, which is fine if that works for you, but exact age like 18 or 19 (since she is a late teen) could be nice to have. I like the personal life details, very helpful, and her mannerisms remind me of me when I'm having a bad day XD. I think Ashley is a great character already, just gotta refine the details you want. I like she seems fleshed out already, she has a rounded personality and traits to go with it

@Scout a yee, thank u man qvq also rlly happy u thought he was cute xd
I did mention how he came to be in his backstory, but das oke c:
As for Virion, their relationship is sorta complicated, like somewhere between master/subordinate, lovers and father/son. Its really tough to explain yvy

But once again glad u like him C:

Can you look at my favoritechild?

Thank-you!

@Scout thanks so much for all of this! i really appreciate this advice and i'm glad you find it intriguing. i'll have to keep you in mind for when i'm looking for a couple people to edit my draft of the story in the future. (: would you mind glancing at ophelia next? Ophelia Chase

Yeah, sure thing! Id love to edit a draft if you'd like <3 I notice a slight absence of specifics but again that isn't a huge deal except most people might not know what the average height of a 52-year-old woman is. Also, if I hate either of Maddox's parents I think it would be here nope she is not a nice lady. In flaws you mention them not letting Maddox have a surgery, did you have this information anywhere else in this? If not id just explain the surgery while you mention it. I think she is a solid character, besides being mean, but I think she is a character people will love to hate. (Also her backstory is sad but like, she doesn't get much sympathy from me). OH! And a side question, what do the white dots under their eyes mean??

Can you look at my favoritechild?

Thank-you!

Sure thing, love! This was the first non-gender-specific character I have reviewed so this was fun! I really like the explanation as to why they do not have identifying features, very cool! I totally get the whole "not caring about the weight" but it is a good detail to have so the reader can know if the character is a build similar to theirs, helps them identify with the character, feel me? I like the reasons why they have their hair short too. I think Dakota is a very interesting character. One thing (I feel bad saying) is that their personality is a little…. grey. And from the sound of things, it works with their story but I'm just saying that they will have to have unhinged reactions to things at some point or else it's like reading a brick wall. And I really really really hope you don't take offense to that, I don't mean it to sound harsh at all! I still think they are a wonderful character

hewwo yet again, sorry if im being annoying, may i send another kiddo?

Could you do another of mine? Honestly just pick any lmao.

Of course, love! I chose Oberon (really liked the name and his rank as former autumn king were eye-catching) his personality is very easy to identify with because I think we can all be like that some days. I feel bad for him and Titania for getting turns to stone, why exactly did that happen though, it was not explained. I think his backstory is good but could use some more details perhaps, like MAYBE childhood, other friends, etc

hewwo yet again, sorry if im being annoying, may i send another kiddo?

I think it's funny you sent Virion because I already lowkey stalked his character page XD Just a little thing but you put things in IDENTIFYING MARKS that are not technically considered marks but it doesn't really matter as long as you get your point across (consider maybe making a special tag for nonphysical means of identification?) I think he makes a good neutral villain (PERSONALLY neutral villains are not my favorite but he is cool) Also, a side note, a lover is usually a term used for people who are sexually involved with each other so I got a little confused when I read that he is asexual but he calls Hiryur his lover. (after looking up the word I see that is sometimes used to just refer to a romantic relationship so I guess this works still but id still consider that lover is more often than not sexual) All in all, I think he is a well-rounded character who just has some interesting morals but don't we all sometimes

Could you do another of mine? Honestly just pick any lmao.

Of course, love! I chose Oberon (really liked the name and his rank as former autumn king were eye-catching) his personality is very easy to identify with because I think we can all be like that some days. I feel bad for him and Titania for getting turns to stone, why exactly did that happen though, it was not explained. I think his backstory is good but could use some more details perhaps, like MAYBE childhood, other friends, etc

Aw, thank you! I love Oberon lol. If you're not too busy, would you mind taking a look at either Beckett or Nich?

Sure thing! I looked at Beckett this time. In AGE you say he is 17 but then later you say we meet him in the story at age 16, I don't know if I'm missing something or if its a typo soooo… His mannerisms are very easy to identify with too, especially his deflection method. A little thing, when you mention a character we don't know about yet maybe mention who they are when we first see their name (example: Cora was mentioned a few times before she is revealed to be his sister) I love that he loves geese but the relationship is strained XD. I feel so bad for this poor boy, I hope he gets closure in his story :'(

@Scout i have no idea what "identifying marks" are for, i just slapped in what other ppl told me would fit, so expect that for my characters :">
As for the "lover" part, must all relationships be sexual? qvq even i dont have a proper word to describe them, since they are together, but not close enough to smash yvy

Mind if i send another one? :">

(das what i did)

Can you do my Character Clementine please Clementine Williams (Aka. Nakamura-Williams Clementine)

Do my insane boi please

Can you look at my favoritechild?

Thank-you!

Sure thing, love! This was the first non-gender-specific character I have reviewed so this was fun! I really like the explanation as to why they do not have identifying features, very cool! I totally get the whole "not caring about the weight" but it is a good detail to have so the reader can know if the character is a build similar to theirs, helps them identify with the character, feel me? I like the reasons why they have their hair short too. I think Dakota is a very interesting character. One thing (I feel bad saying) is that their personality is a little…. grey. And from the sound of things, it works with their story but I'm just saying that they will have to have unhinged reactions to things at some point or else it's like reading a brick wall. And I really really really hope you don't take offense to that, I don't mean it to sound harsh at all! I still think they are a wonderful character

Thank-you so much!
Don't feel bad at all, it's something I'm a little worried about for sure. I'm hoping their more subtle emotions will show through when writing from their pov, but we'll see xDD I've only just started their story, and I'm still getting into the swing of their character, but I think I'm making them interesting? Time will tell ^^ And don't worry, they do eventually snap xD Thanks so much for pointing it out, you weren't being harsh at all! ^^ It's a very valid point :)

Hi, could you possibly critique my character Veda? I have a lot of her specifics and backstory on paper, so apologies if it’s a little vague. Thanks! Veda Libertas

That's all good haha! Sorry, this took so long to get to you, it has been a rough quarantine for me :( Because there aren't as many specifics, as you said, it is hard to make a judgment of a character but I think Veda is a put-together character. The one thing I notice the most though is you have contradictory information. She is a "benevolent and understanding Queen" and "very mature for her age" but in your Flaws section, you said she only listens to herself or a few select people. You also say she is overly emotional when given criticism. These aren't exactly the traits of mature people. (though tbh I get emotion like that sometimes too no shame, though I am 16 so I guess I have a right to XD) So yeah just something to think about. I think those are good flaws no doubt! But perhaps she isn't as mature with them. All in all, she sounds like a lovely character, I too would love to have a giant raven <3

@Scout i have no idea what "identifying marks" are for, i just slapped in what other ppl told me would fit, so expect that for my characters :">
As for the "lover" part, must all relationships be sexual? qvq even i dont have a proper word to describe them, since they are together, but not close enough to smash yvy

Mind if i send another one? :">

(That smash part made me laugh XD)

Yeah yeah for sure! (Sorry this took so long, rough month) I really like the description of his appearance from his face to his clothing. Also the description of why he seems emotionally detached at first but then grew to have emotions because of Narion, very unique. I really like that you state his purpose, not just his desire to protect his master but also to find out his old self, not everyone blatantly states this. (The fact that he fears disappointing or failing to protect Narion is beyond adorable) DANG his backstory is so cool! I always feel like I praise too much but with characters like this, I cannot NOT praise. I have basically no criticism cuz it looks like you have gone over this many times

Can you do my Character Clementine please Clementine Williams (Aka. Nakamura-Williams Clementine)

I think Clementine is adorable! Got me excited to see a fellow shortie! (I am 5'5 and haven't grown in almost a year but anyway-) I think you have some great info about her but the information is a little bit all over the place… this is not a major flaw but it would be easier to read if you just double-checked that your info is in an appropriate section. Other then that maybe flush out some details and you're good to go <3

Do my insane boi please

A question right off the bat…. if they are genderfluid are they comfortable being in a strictly male body?? As someone who is cis, I cannot make assumptions just a thought. You mention a character, Azrael, but you don't say who that is, I would add a little something to clarify if you mention a character in a section that we don't know. Like saying Azrael is Vozreal's opposite means almost nothing if we don't know who Azrael is, feel me??? His description could use a little more info but that's just me. What is the difference between their race and species if you don't mind me asking?? (I know there is scientific different but your Nightmare and 6th Dimensontion Nightmare sound similar) Overall id just add detail on things like Mannerisms, and any form of mental or physical Descriptions. Other than that Vozreal sounds like a lit character (I hate that I said lit but like.. it works XD)

Do my insane boi please

A question right off the bat…. if they are genderfluid are they comfortable being in a strictly male body?? As someone who is cis, I cannot make assumptions just a thought. You mention a character, Azrael, but you don't say who that is, I would add a little something to clarify if you mention a character in a section that we don't know. Like saying Azrael is Vozreal's opposite means almost nothing if we don't know who Azrael is, feel me??? His description could use a little more info but that's just me. What is the difference between their race and species if you don't mind me asking?? (I know there is scientific different but your Nightmare and 6th Dimensontion Nightmare sound similar) Overall id just add detail on things like Mannerisms, and any form of mental or physical Descriptions. Other than that Vozreal sounds like a lit character (I hate that I said lit but like.. it works XD)

They mostly identify as male, but are still genderfluid. Nope, no different between nightmares and 6h dimensional nightmares

hh i dont deserve the praise, but im glad to know everything was done right :'D

Do my insane boi please

A question right off the bat…. if they are genderfluid are they comfortable being in a strictly male body?? As someone who is cis, I cannot make assumptions just a thought. You mention a character, Azrael, but you don't say who that is, I would add a little something to clarify if you mention a character in a section that we don't know. Like saying Azrael is Vozreal's opposite means almost nothing if we don't know who Azrael is, feel me??? His description could use a little more info but that's just me. What is the difference between their race and species if you don't mind me asking?? (I know there is scientific different but your Nightmare and 6th Dimensontion Nightmare sound similar) Overall id just add detail on things like Mannerisms, and any form of mental or physical Descriptions. Other than that Vozreal sounds like a lit character (I hate that I said lit but like.. it works XD)

They mostly identify as male, but are still genderfluid. Nope, no different between nightmares and 6h dimensional nightmares

If there is no difference I recommend adding those under the same section but if ya don't that isn't a problem :)
(I wish we could use real emojis cuz I feel like the :) face is passive-aggressive and I don't wanna come off like that!)

Will you take a look at my insane writer child please

(His names are awesome!!) I really liked looking at this character because I didn't expect him to be an animal, a Smilodon no less!!! (One of my favorite creatures) One thing though is I do believe Pride Rock is trademarked so I would suggest rethinking this name if you ever write about this because it belongs to the Lion King. Another thing, are they able to transform into humans are or these just animals who are able to use technology to write stories? Just things you might want to consider putting in. All in all, he is a pretty cool character