Amazing comebacks/ clean insults

I need insults that I can use at summer camp and not get in trouble or offend people.

also i need comebacks to things that the kids are likely to say

Shut up you useless paperclip

oh my gosh

i remember that

it's a christian camp, and I got in trouble for saying that a bagel was retarded.

also, you cant call names, I just need amazing cunning comebacks.

uhhhhh, lemme think//

If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world.

No I'm not insulting you, I'm describing you.

I’m jealous of people that don’t know you!

They say that opposites attract. I hope that you meet someone good-looking, intelligent, and cultured.

You Pathetic Limp Noodle!

Calling you an idiot would be an insult to all the stupid people.

You Pathetic Limp Noodle!

lol say that to my face! you limp noodle!!!

I don't know what makes you so stupid, but it really works.

How old are you? - Wait I shouldn't ask, you can't count that high.

(If someone says kill yourself) If I wanted to kill myself, I'd climb up your ego and jump down to your IQ level.

Have you been shopping lately? They're selling lives, you should go get one.

Of course I talk like an idiot, how else would you understand me?

You're like Monday mornings, nobody likes you.

Shock me, say something intelligent.

Keep rolling your eyes, perhaps you'll find a brain back there.

You are not as bad as people say, you are much, much worse.

You get ten times more girls than me? ten times zero is zero…

My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face.

If you were half as funny as I thought you were, you would be twice as funny as you are now.

So, a thought crossed your mind? Must have been a long and lonely journey.

Keep talking, someday you'll say something intelligent!

“Just because u have the emotional range of a teaspoon doesn’t mean we all have!”

wow

yall delivered