Context not included

Throw some weird things you’ve heard come out of people’s mouths without any context.

I’ll share one just for the sake of this:
“Last time I was in here someone set fire to the ceiling.”

'How the fuck do you stomach watching them,,,, FLY like that?'

“BAGELS DO NOT HAVE WINGS!!!”

“Get out of the cello case, Johnathan”

“bUT I DON’T WANNA BE A PIRATE!”

"I am in the Undertale Fandom and have seen some terrible things. Am I still allowed to go to church?"

If you are/were in the UT fandom, you need Jesus!

"This is why o one loves youuuuu"

"Is this a roasting session?"

"Is that a duck or is it my shoe?"
"Put the couch down and come on."
a sound that contains all vowels known to humans and a few new ones
"Can that katana cut through Flex-Tape?"
"Sweetie, I'm not gay… I'm very gay…"
"OhmyGoddammit… Just eat the rock…"
"Kindly go fuck a cactus darling."
"Has anyone else ever experienced the Mancala effect?" (XD They meant Mandela.)
"You fujoshis are like seagulls."

impersonating Smaug from The Hobbit
"I am fire, I am Jake, from StateFarm."

"I'm legally tall enough to sit in the front seat!"

"This is Entitlement. I hold her when I'm depressed."

in a high squeaky voice
"You will die"

"Let's go to Alicia Keys on a bale of hay, aka Burger King"

"How many times have [your brother] tried to stab you?"

“Hawaii is basically Alabama with sun!”

"I'm still quoting things!"

"Fish tiddies."
"Wha-"
"Fish. Tiddies."

“HOW THE FUCK DID YOU BURN JELL-O SAM?!”

"We are the meme bros!"

"If you don't suck down these grits I swear to Satan!"

"I swear to Anoushka!"

“THE BOMBS GET HOT, THE BOMBS GO BOOM, THE SHIP GOES SINK!”

"Or you prefer thingamabob?"

"Of course the FREE SPACE is what ticks her off."