Don't Be Suspicious

My dad was just like "Queen Elizabeth canceled her birthday party :(" and I almost made a joke about how she's immortal anyways but I'd get in trouble if I said that

Why would you get into trouble?

Because "immortals aren't real except God" "witchcraft is bad" "you aren't funny you're very mean" "that's a lie" "that's disrespectful"

Ah I see

Pets are better than people.
Mango smoothies are better than people too.

My family wonders why I don't talk to them, but I get in trouble for most of the things I say. I can't even mention politics or have a slightly different opinion without getting yelled at. I can't even mention my random knowledge half the time.
If I didn't know you'd get in trouble, I'd say next time she says it wasn't in your stomach you should look at your mom and say "how do you know that?"

Pets are better than people.
Mango smoothies are better than people too.

Facts

That last bit didn’t make sense..

That last bit didn’t make sense..

The how do you know he hasn't been in my stomach part?

That last bit didn’t make sense..

The how do you know he hasn't been in my stomach part?

Yeah

Pets are better than people.
Mango smoothies are better than people too.

Facts

Big facts

Mango smoothies are the best
And pets

I was supposed to go to a cat cafe with my friend for our birthday but corona~

Okay but hear this-

Mango smoothies
at a cat cafe

I'm having a banana mango smoothie at my I've-gone-two-hours-without-a-mental-breakdown party

There’s one in Kansas City
I haven’t been but I’m hoping once this is all over my sister will bring me there
We’ve been wanting to go so bad-

I didn't remember where the one I was thinking of was, but there's one a lot closer than I originally thought. I'm hecking pumped to get out of quarantine just so I can drag her with me at some point over the summer

Okay but hear this-

Mango smoothies
at a cat cafe

I'm having a banana mango smoothie at my I've-gone-two-hours-without-a-mental-breakdown party

Well now I want bananas and mangos so I can make a smoothie did you make it yourself and if you did can you send me the recipe

I never thought I'd see the day
When my basil, chamomile, and rosemary are all sprouting
I knew I shouldn't give up on my rosemary

Okay but hear this-

Mango smoothies
at a cat cafe

I'm having a banana mango smoothie at my I've-gone-two-hours-without-a-mental-breakdown party

Well now I want bananas and mangos so I can make a smoothie did you make it yourself and if you did can you send me the recipe

kinda made it up, but it tastes really good
1/2 cup of almond milk
1/4 cup of lowfat plain yogurt
1 thicc banana
1/2 cup frozen mangos

I never thought I'd see the day
When my basil, chamomile, and rosemary are all sprouting
I knew I shouldn't give up on my rosemary

Show this to your rosemary

I called Poe my nephew the other day and my mom went on yet another rant about how she “hates when people refer to pets like children” cause “it’s absolutely disgusting and you can never love a pet the way you love your own born child, that pet hasn’t been growing in your stomach for 9 months you don’t have that emotional connection and it’s offensive that you’d even compare such a miraculous thing to an animal“ or whatever, so I can honestly hear that

Honestly I prefer my cat to my sister so….