Don't Be Suspicious

_{so that’s what it’s called…}

Sound familiar? Think ya might dissociate?

My mom put it this way when I was first diagnosed:
"The lights are on, but the person that is home is not my daughter."

not saying that's one of the best analogies ever but that's exactly what I'm saying

Because you're still capable of thought it's just kinda sluggish and unfocused–I would say 'relaxed' but you always kinda know in the back of your mind that something is very wrong you just dont care about getting out of it.

Facts
You know you're dissociating, but you don't want to stop, per say
Even if some part of you is like "I want to be paying attention to this" or something, dissociation just feels better.

Not to mention becoming aware that you're dissociating is panic inducing. And you really cant knock yourself out of it when you become aware–ahhhh it's hard to describe.
At least for me I can go "Oh shit im dissociating", but like trying to move my arm or something to get some kind of feeling back is impossible. It's always something outside of myself that gets me out of it. Someone touching me, suddenly being aware that im holding a book, or a little shimmy that my car makes, etc.

All around you feel like youre having fun but youre not having fun

_{not to be that person, but wait, it's not normal?}

No, not quite.
I think more people dissociate than are aware of it, but there's a big difference between spacing out and dissociating.

_{so that’s what it’s called…}

Sound familiar? Think ya might dissociate?

yes, very very familiar…
like
the more y’all describe it the more i can relate and i don’t know how to feel about it

there's a big difference between spacing out and dissociating.

More on this–
It can definitely be confused with spacing out, the difference is the science behind it and stuff
I do think a lot of people dissociate, but that doesn't mean you have a dissociating disorder, which is what we're talking about. It's a disorder when it's severe, interferes with life, or (sometimes) is part of another disorder– Like for me, ptsd.

_{not to be that person, but wait, it's not normal?}

No, not quite.
I think more people dissociate than are aware of it, but there's a big difference between spacing out and dissociating.

Yeah, I can’t tell you I have experienced any of this, but I can tell you that I space out all the time. I’m not audacious enough to say I dissociate, though. Spacing out is more of a distraction thing (like for me, it’s more of an ADHD thing, and my depression sort of has a role in it too), while dissociation sounds like it’s more of it’s own individual thing.

idk if that helps but

_{not to be that person, but wait, it's not normal?}

No, not quite.
I think more people dissociate than are aware of it, but there's a big difference between spacing out and dissociating.

Yeah, I can’t tell you I have experienced any of this, but I can tell you that I space out all the time. I’m not audacious enough to say I dissociate, though. Spacing out is more of a distraction thing (like for me, it’s more of an ADHD thing, and my depression sort of has a role in it too), while dissociation sounds like it’s more of it’s own individual thing.

idk if that helps but

Exactly.
The two can be confused.
But there's a big difference.
If that makes sense lmao.

And sometimes it's unpleasent being pulled out of spacing out too, so that might be what y'all are thinking of.

And sometimes it's unpleasent being pulled out of spacing out too, so that might be what y'all are thinking of.

It’s startling, but it’s not panic inducing. Sometimes I myself jump out of it, and the most I feel is, “WOW I just wasted an hour and a half of my life!”

Someone also just PMed me and asked some more about it so I'm pasting here what I replied with in case it helps–

I think one of the main signs you're dissociating is that you become aware of what's happening, don't want to stop, and get upset when something pulls you out.
I also get minor amnesia from dissociation, where someone will say something before I dissociate (as in, I'm still fully aware) and as soon as I'm out of dissociation, I'll already have forgotten that thing.
Also, when you dissociate, feelings have left the chat. Sometimes you feel a bit panciky when you realize "oh god, I'm dissociating again," but otherwise, you feel absolutely nothing. Your entire body is numb. I've dissociated while literally sobbing and as soon as the dissociation kicks in, I feel nothing. Like, my cat could have just died right before my eyes, and as soon as I start dissociating all feelings of sadness and fear are just gone. It's that strong.
Sometimes you also forget who you are for a second, if that makes sense.

Oh, could I compare that to spacing out? How it feels emotionally? Cus it’s so different and I just thought it’d be helpful for the person who asked.

When I dissociate, I typically don't feel like a person anymore?? I feel like I'm a brain piloting a useless flesh suit
It's hard to think or function and I feel kinda floaty and empty and mildly sad all at the same time

_{yeah i think it’s dissociation… huh}

Auntie Erissssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

My lips are chapped but chapstick isn't helping

Drink WATER

Sugar SCRUB

Coconut OIL

Aloe GEL

oKAY
I'll TRY IT
thank YOU

you're WELCOME
:)