✨dRaMaTiC✨ Insults, Power of the Chancla, Eldritch Beings, Old Rivalries, Chicken Chaos, Large Fonts, and Cheesecake: The Saga of the Chicken Part 3: Tokyo Drift (CLOSED)

Hey gabs, do you still have a list of all the Team Cheesecake benefits?
And does anyone have a list of all the Team Chicken ones?

I’m looking for them in the first chicken chat and I’m wondering if there’s any way to speed up the process 💀

I don’t, I think arrow was my recruiter lol
I can make a new list tho

Very well. All I remember from your old one is cheesecake, milk-free alternatives, and that you were chancla Allies so you have those benefits

Same- can’t type fast

it's so hot

Ooh rain’s nice

Quick Pandora I need the chancla benefits!!

I can get those for you

Chancla:

Insurance!

If you die during battle, don't worry! Your family will be heavily compensated.

Medical insurance

Every member of team chancla has free medical insurance

Vacations

Feeling tired? Take a three-week vacation with your family, all paid! any incidents during your vacation is not our fault and we will not be paying for any hospital bills during that time

Maternity leave

Self explanatory.

Education?

Have a child? Worry that you won't be able to enroll them in a school due to your allegiance? Don't worry! Our benevolent sorceress Pandora has created a school for the children of her soldiers. So they'll be able to learn just like any other kid! we do not cover uniform fees, but other supplies like text books, pencils, etc will be most likely given for free

Pension

Once again, very much self explantory.

Power

Every member of Team Chancla will gain the power to wield the Chancla. With this, you will be unstoppable and feared around the kingdom.

Reincarnation

After you have spent 20 years dead, you have the choice of being reincarnated and starting your life all over again.

But what about auto insurance?
Here in team chancla, we are very pro environment. If you decided to use transportation with fossil fuels…well…let's just say our benevolent sorceress Pandora might just destroy you…

also team chancla gives out free food every week + we have shelters people can sleep in

we also have puppies, and if they're not your thing we also have other types of animals (not chickens or crabs tho)

Uhhh sure- I only have the official invitation rn

Got to the part of the chat where vis said ”hims legies” in response to seeing an owl sit crisis-cross applesauce. Page 671

The benefits of joining the Primus de Pulvere Natus are as follows:

. You gain infinite power at the rank of Learned.
. You gain all the knowledge of the Multiverse.
. You have the ability to kill that which cannot be killed and see what cannot be seen.
. You gain a free lifetime supply of any and every food you can think of and any you can't.
. You get a free broadsword and greatsword immediately upon entry.
. You cannot truly die, and Death falls upon the nearest killable target if anything would kill you.
. You get free insurance of all types.
. You have fully paid vacation, sick leave and maternity leave.

Thanks 👍

Aight I’m off to get dem moneys

Byeeeee

Apparently gabs, Pandora, and I are in a “pickles hate club”