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So I'm stealing this from Tumblr but you search up florida man and your birthday not the year. If you're not comfortable sharing that, you can put in a random date and post the headlines.
I'll start
Florida Man dressed in bull onesie, attempt to burn down house with Ragu sauce
Mine was extremely boring and serious, "Florida man killed after a horrible accident-" or something along those lines. I would try to find the article but there are so many results of news articles talking about the Florida Man game that I can't find it anymore.
"Florida man says he rammed car into White House barrier to draw attention of Secret Service, documents show"
What I got after a bit of digging for 10/24 xD
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I'm not even sure if the articles they post are true because they are so absurd
the one I got for my birthday was "Florida man, drunk and naked, allegedly set house on fire in failed cookie baking attempt"
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Oof mine turned out to be a really brutal murder, and I won't share the details or the exact headline because I don't want to bother anyone. (But if you're curious, it's October 7th)
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Its really funny though because when I made the post I was thinking about a post I saw a few days ago and then next thing you know, google is talking about a challenge and I couldn't even find mines.
"Florida man climbs on playground equipment to tell children where babies come from"
I am not disappointed. I also looked up Florida woman but what came up was about an 8-year-old girl who got buried alive so that's charming.
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"Florida Man Mistakes Corpse For April Fools Prank And Hurls It In A Dumpster"
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Forida Man sounds like a crazy anti-hero a la Deadpool and he should get a comic book series.
Googled all my siblings in age order
Oldest brother (September 5th):
"Florida Man Caught With Nearly 200 Illegal Lobsters"
Oldest sister (September 1st):
Can't find much
Me (November 1st):
Already mentioned
Little brother (August 10th):
Can't find anything interesting
Little brother (December 10th):
Uhhh… I'd rather not list that one, it's kinda disgusting… Some might find it funny though so if you want to hear it google it for yourself
Little sister (October 17th):
"Florida Man Gets 40 Years For Threatening To Bomb Target Stores"
And my baby sister (April 28th) has at least two good ones:
"Florida Man Shot At Roommate Over Cat Hair On Couch"
"Florida Man Goes To Park, Karate-Kicks Swans In The Head"
I know, I only have 6 siblings instead of actually having 48 bajillion like I often claim. They just feel like 48 bajillion
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The 200 lobsters one is a big mood lol
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I'mma do my character's birthdays!
Jon: "Florida Man Shoots Friend In The Buttocks After Political Debate"
Meg: "Naked Florida Man Attacks Homeless Man, Eating His Face"
Joan: "Naked Florida Man Starts House Fire After Baking Cookies On George Foreman Grill"
Samuel: "Florida Man Arrested For Trafficking Cocaine-Stuffed Lunchables"
Nich: "Florida Man Accused Of Stabbing Woman Over Underdone Potato"
Therese: "Florida Man Too Fat For Jail"
Nell: "Vape Pen Explosion Kills Florida Man"
Oliver: "Florida Man Killed As Tree Falls On House"
Fern: "Florida Man Arrested For Dialing 911 When He Wanted Vodka"
Huxley: "Florida Man Accused Of Beating Homeless Man With Stick"
Leah: "Florida Man Charged With Exposure At Strip Club"
Stephen: "Florida Man Wakes Up In Parking Lot, Tells Cops His Name Is "Fuck You, Asshole"
Jayson: "Florida Man Breaks Into Restaurant, Strips Naked, Eats Noodles, and Plays Bongos"
Julianna: "Florida Man Dons Spider-Man Mask During Liquor Store Robbery"
Oberon: "Florida Man Decapitated By Helicopter"
Darius: "Florida Man Finds Bright Green Iguana In Toilet, Calls 911"
Izzy: "Urine Gets Florida Man Already Behind Bars In More Hot Water"
Talia: "Florida Man Tells Cops "That's What She Said" After Being Pulled Over"
Francesca: "Florida Man Says He Stalked Families To 'Make Friends'"
Carrie: "Florida Man Arrested For Kicking Swans In Head"
Lysander: "Florida Man Attempts To Purchase 8 Year Old Girl At Walmart"
Ayla: "Florida Man Spends 10 Years In Prison For Cruise Assault"
Winifred: "Florida Man Dressed As Fred Flintstone Arrested For Driving 'Footmobile'"
Cedar: "Florida Man Loses Pants During Burglary"
Dima: "Florida Man Admits To Drinking In Car, But Not While Driving"
Lyra: "Florida Man Says 3 Syringes Found In Rectum Are Not His"
Ness: "Florida Man Suspected Of Smelling Woman's Feet At Library Leads Police On Scooter Chase"
Esther: "Florida Man Has Bizarre Airport Meltdown To 'Prove A Point'"
Maia: "Florida Man Accused Of Beating His Father To Death While At Sea"
Lucas: "Florida Man Loses His Shorts While Breaking Into Car Dealership"
Iam: "Florida Man Discovers 'WW1 Hand Grenade', Drives It To Taco Bell"
Giana: "Florida Man Dupes School District Into Sending Him 2 Million Dollars"
Vivian: "4 Florida Men Charged In A Telemedicine Fraud Conspiracy"
Ophelia: "Police Say Florida Man Hid Pot, Coke Under Fat Folds"
^ omg I AM DYING! I gotta do this with my characters as well.
Andor (March 17): Squirrel attacks Florida Man; rodent was raised by neighbour
Ara (September 29): Florida Man pleads guilty to mailing bomb threats to Trump foes.
Dallas (January 7): Florida Man denies that syringes found inside his rectum are his.
Crispin (May 26): Florida Man was arrested for assaulting his room mate with pizza
Kit (June 17): Florida Man wanted to remind everyone that this is America so he painted a giant American flag on his house
Caleb (July 14): Florida Man and Woman make out in a police car; officer suspended
Gerard (February 28): Florida Man sentenced 10 days in jail for dragging a shark behind his boat
Milo (October 27): Florida Man charged for sending 13 pipe bombs to Trump critics.
Garzlan (July 1): Florida Man clings to hood of car travelling 70 mph.
Jaire (August 19): Florida Man 88, burns raccoons over eating mangoes.
Solque (April 4): Florida Man stalked family to "make friends."
Dover (November 12): Naked Florida man revealed on video sneaking into restaurant and munching on ramen.
Lu (February 6): Florida man tries to run over son who wouldn't take a bath, deputies say
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Okay Realistic Fiction Time!
Della: "Florida Man Arrested, Accused Of Shoving Woman To Get Eggrolls"
amy (the most wonderful woman in the world): "Florida Man Says He 'May Have Some Needles Between His Cheeks'"
Erica: "Florida Man Attacks McDonald's Worker Over Straw"
Theo: "Florida Man Accused Of Stealing $500K In Stolen Tequila"
Frankie: "Florida Man Hugs, Fatally Stabs Roommate Saying Goodbye"
Geneva: "Florida Man Tries To Run Down Neighbor With Tractor"
Jackson: "Florida Man Arrested For Blocking Door To Restaurant"
Liz: "Florida Man Pleads Guilty To Sending Bombs To Trump's Foes"
Martha: "Florida Man Arrested For Keeping Mother's Dead Body On Couch"
Morgan: "Alligator Bits Off Part of Florida Man's Forearm"
Teagan: "Florida Man's Murder Was Really Elaborate Suicide By Balloon"
Victor: "Florida Man Catches Python Measuring 17 Feet"
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^ omg I AM DYING! I gotta do this with my characters as well.
Andor (March 17): Squirrel attacks Florida Man; rodent was raised by neighbour
Ara (September 29): Florida Man pleads guilty to mailing bomb threats to Trump foes.
Dallas (January 7): Florida Man denies that syringes found inside his rectum are his.
Crispin (May 26): Florida Man was arrested for assaulting his room mate with pizza
Kit (June 17): Florida Man wanted to remind everyone that this is America so he painted a giant American flag on his house
Caleb (July 14): Florida Man and Woman make out in a police car; officer suspended
Gerard (February 28): Florida Man sentenced 10 days in jail for dragging a shark behind his boat
Milo (October 27): Florida Man charged for sending 13 pipe bombs to Trump critics.
Garzlan (July 1): Florida Man clings to hood of car travelling 70 mph.
Jaire (August 19): Florida Man 88, burns raccoons over eating mangoes.
Solque (April 4): Florida Man stalked family to "make friends."
Dover (November 12): Naked Florida man revealed on video sneaking into restaurant and munching on ramen.
Lu (February 6): Florida man tries to run over son who wouldn't take a bath, deputies say
I'm confused because I have some of the same ones yet different birthdays, and vice versa
“Florida man robs store dressed as Spider-Man” or alternately
“Helicopter blade. decapitates Florida man at airport “
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I guess I'll jump on the character birthdays bandwagon. (Also most of my characters didn't have birthdays before, so this gave me an excuse to do it(
Aurelius (Nov. 19): Honestly the headlines are all terrible… let's just say a Florida man did some uh… inappropriate things to a miniature pony
Cyrus (June 7): Florida Man Gets Headbutted by Alligator
Pollux (Apr. 29): Florida man arrested for kicking swans at Lake Eola while practicing karate
Taurin (Aug. 12): Florida man honors state's reputation by twerking in court
Valkyrie (Sept. 27): Florida man in undies hangs with pot on the highway
Septima (Sept. 20): Florida man continues gardening naked despite neighbors' pleas to stop
Ignis (Jan. 30): Florida man thinks he's stealing pain pills, ends up with laxatives
Fiera (Dec. 15): Florida man killed in-laws, ordered pizza, police say
Moreau (Oct. 8): Florida suspect, 22, allegedly attacked mother with sausages
Rosalia (Feb. 26): Florida man is accused of "battery by cookie" after he allegedly threw a "hard piece" of cookie at his girlfriend
Abraxas (Dec. 31): Did "Florida Man" dig an underground tunnel in attempt to rob a bank?
I'm confused because I have some of the same ones yet different birthdays, and vice versa
Apparently Florida Man didn't get up to much on September 29th or October 27, if that's what you're referring to. Half the results were news stories about the Florida Man trend, another good chunk of them were just really generic stuff (weather reports, lottery numbers). Literally the only other story was kind of graphic and sharing it just didn't really sit right with me. The story about the man sending pipe bombs came up pretty frequently and I even found a wikipedia page about the event.
It was kind of a similar situation with Caleb's but I was able to find a kinda funny headline for his.
I ran another search and found "Missing Florida Man thought to be near Edinburgh" for Ara's birthday so I may edit that in.
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Florida man finds iguana in toilet, calls 911
I'm not even sure if the articles they post are true because they are so absurd
https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.usatoday.com/amp/3240636002
^An article on why Florida man articles are so bizarre
…Florida man can be arrested for eating ramen noodles while naked in a McDonald’s but he gets no jail time for this???
(March 17th) “Florida Man Who Burned Caged Cat, Fed it to Dogs Gets No Jail Time”
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"florida man sentenced for plot to blow up target stores"
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June 27: Florida man had taken psychedelic mushrooms before standing in a fire and chanting “gibberish”.
(guys help i live in florida)
(Florida man comments on notebook.ai…. I'm assuming you're a man)
(it would've been perfect if i was, huh? is it the name 'houdini' that always leads people to assume i'm a guy? hmm…)
