Help

"And when you said hi, I forgot my dang name."

Yes, that's Hamilton. And it's how I feel today. My crush (because this world is confusing and lots of us have different preferences, he's a guy, I'm a girl) is one of my closest friends (I've been friends with him for three years, since 8th grade, we r sophomores now, I'm almost 16), and I'm nearly 98% percent certain he likes or is at least interested in me. But he won't admit it, and I'm falling hard but I can't keep doing this. We flirt, and then we get ignored. He stands up for me, but then teases me in a slightly mean way (actually almost punched his best friend for making me cry, I'm a Christian and his friend said I "couldn't possibly love Jesus" if I thought BLM was good and supported them. THE WHOLE POINT OF MY RELIGION IS LOVING OTHER LIKE JESUS LOVED US, but I digress.. Not all of us are like that but in west Kentucky, unfortunately, many are…. BUt yeah, he almost punched him but another guy held him back because we were at school, I've never seen him like that before) I can't keep this uppp. ANd yes I have forgotten stuff before due to him. I'm old school so I'd like him to make to first move but I can't keep waiting. He makes me so nervous, but I can be myself with him. He makes me think.
And I'm falling hard. I've tried to get over him a million times, but I can't.

Idk, I'm sorry this was a mess.
Any and all comments are welcome. IDK what I'll do.

I'm old school so I'd like him to make the first move

I'm biased towards just making the first move already. Because I think that if one needs something to change, then I think it stands to reason that one ought to make that change…whether or not the change that's brought about really is the one that you wanted, because he could have his own good reasons for not making a move. Best of luck!

I was in a very similar position not too long ago, and my best advice is to take a moment and breathe. Evaluate. What do you like about him? What do you not like about him? If you can't list anything for the latter, it's a good bet you're letting emotions cloud your judgment. I'm not saying this is a bad thing, but it's necessary to discern your actual feelings if you have any hope of being in an actual relationship.

From there, if a relationship with him is what you really want to pursue, I'd recommend having an honest conversation with him. Waiting around for someone else to make a move generally seems to end in heartbreak over what could've been.

Just be sure to take this advice with a grain of salt. I've never been in a relationship, but all of my crushes went poorly because I never confessed or acted on my feelings.

Whatever happens, I wish you the best. Good luck, whatever you decide!

I guess I often feel like I want a label so that I know I'm not completely helpless, that he is feeling what I am too. I think he is, but I wanna know for sure. (Also I was ssoooo pms-ing yesterday, haha so that explains a lot.) I want to stop myself from falling so much but I see him and my heart goes crazy. I know love is choice more than a feeling and I think I choose to love him a long time ago and my heart won't let me back out.
I will breathe, thank you. I'll keep falling. I'll keep waiting. I'll keep loving. And I might talk to him about it.
Because, yes, I think I'm in love with him.

Sorry I know that was dramatic.