Lame Jokes

blinks What?

I have two about snakes.

1. Over on the side of a road was a lever. When this lever was flipped, it would set off an explosion, so everyone tried their best to avoid it. In this town, there lived a snake named Nate. One day, he was slowly inching across a road. A driver came by and noticed the snake a little too late. The driver was about to swerve, but then he noticed the lever on the side of the road. He had to quickly decide what to do. Kill poor, innocent Nate, or cause an explosion. The driver ran over the snake. While he was driving away, he thought to himself: Better Nate than lever.

2. A man and his wife were driving up north, when they were suddenly hit with a snowstorm. The man tried to wipe away the snow, but the wipers on the car broke from the cold. The man got out of his car, dug under some rocks, and found two frozen snakes. He placed them on the broken wipers, got back in the car and turned them on. After the snow was cleared, he noticed his wife giving him an odd look. He faced her and said, “Haven’t you ever heard of wind-chilled vipers?”

I think the first guy was dyslexic

GASP
MAYBE HE WAS A DEMIGOD

Here's one I did all the time when I was like 5:
What did the ghost say to the bees?
BOOBIES!

Why do I always find PJO/HOO stuff?

We are an immense family of empty cups

That's a DAM good joke

I understand that reference

…
I'm confused

What do you call a snake that's 3.14 feet long?

A python!

Also one time when I was camping with a relative, we were in a tent and someone fell over or something and she was like "Well that was intense!" And then somebody laughed and she added, "Glad you thought it was punny!"

Names for guinea pigs:
Pigfoot
New Guinea

lol

i've practically been losing my sense of humor and tons of other things these past few weeks, this is my only joke.
its more of a pun that anything
let me just sum it up with one image

This one is kinda lame but here goes:

A lamb, a drum, and a snake fell off of a cliff.

Ba dum tssss

This one is kinda lame but here goes:

A lamb, a drum, and a snake fell off of a cliff.

Ba dum tssss

best one by far

Thanks 😊

That's awesome

a kid from my physics class told this joke (and you better read the whole thing):

a dictator wants a song made for him that tells of his glory and might. he asks for a composer and pays him a sum of money to compose a song. the composer obliges. he spends days, weeks, months composing the song for the dictator. finally, the time comes. he preforms the song for the dictator…and it sucks. it's an absolute joke. furious, the dictator demands that the composer be put to death. so they arrest the composer. the day he's supposed to be executed by the electric chair, he asks for very, very spicy chili as his final meal. they give him his chili, he eats, and then they put him in the chair. they try to electrocute him, but nothing happens. he survives. the dictator takes this as a sign that perhaps the composer can do better. so he gives him another chance. the composer takes another long while to make a song, performs…and it sucks, again. the dictator is angry, and puts him on death row again. as his last meal, he asks for spicy chili, again, but spicier than last time. he eats, and then is placed in the electric chair again. they try to execute him, but again, nothing happens. the composer is 100% okay. so the dictator tries one last time. the composer makes another song. and it is…the worst of all. it's garbage. off key, out of tune, just the worst possible song you can imagine. so the dictator is absolutely raving mad. he sends the composer straight to the electric chair –no chili, no meal, nothing! they sit him down, power it up, and…the composer is still unscathed. the dictator demands in a rage how the composer is still alive without the chili. the composer answers, "oh, the chili had nothing to do with it. I'm just a bad conductor."

sorry :P

PUNS

Literally any Dad joke:
For example:
Child:"Dad I'm hungry"
Dad (holding in immense laughter): "Hi hungry I'm Dad!"