Being on the forums of this site is doing a large mental and emotional toll on me, it's making me hate myself so much again and making me feel very isolated and standoff-ish. Being this close to this many people is breaking me, especially after months of family-only isolation, a rough breakup, and a severe relationship that had drama that lasted six months afterward because of significant mental and physical abuse.
I may have to permanently call it quits, too much shit happened here, too many fights, worthless drama, people calling others liars, toxicity and toxicity upon each other, putting younger or more inexperienced users down, not to mention the lack of activity these days.
I'm not meant to be a community person, not anymore anyway. My anxiety can't handle it. I thought I could come back, spend time with all my old acquaintances and friends again, but too much has happened to me and I'm breaking again, even after one day of just browsing the forums and trying to chat. I know I sound dramatic.
If you don't care about what I'm writing, then fine. shrug
It's making me realize how flip-floppy I am, but I guess this is an official goodbye from ConnieTheMediator/ConnieTheAdvocate? I may change my mind and pop on a better time when life isn't this stressful.
I just don't think I can stay here and stay sane at the same time, for this quarantine at least. :/
