My Opinion on "Ladies First"

Now, just a note, this is only an opinion. If you would like to challenge it, please do so in a constructive and decent manner. There's no need to swear me out because you don't agree with what I say.

I believe that the term “ladies first” is sexist, or at least wrong. Many people say “ladies first” as a term of courtesy and an opportunity to be a gentleman. If two people get to a line or a door at the same time, “ladies first” is a simple act of courtesy on the gentleman’s behalf. It is to simply show “I wish for you to go first, because I am a gentleman and I feel that you should go ahead”. That is alright. But some men feel that this is a term that makes some men believe that they are somehow less worthy because of their gender. I mean, would you go around saying “Hispanics first”? “Christians first”? Why? Because saying these things would be seen as rude, offensive, racist, etc. SO, why ladies first? Gender equality is something that should be practiced, but not for special treatment based on gender. To me, it’s not a huge deal if someone wants me to go first in line, even if they got there first, but if they d it simply because I’m a female? No way. Whoever is closest to the door holds it. Whoever needs the seat gets it. Whoever takes less time n line or gets there first gets the spot. The kid who can’t see well needs to be in front? Let him in front. But if he was lollygagging, there is no reason for him to be in the front if he was deliberately taking his time. Even children practice ladies first. In my church youth group, we got in a line, and my youth leader insisted on “ladies first”. I was last in the line, so I stayed there. I hadn’t gotten there first, I was behind talking to my friend. For no reason should I be in front simply because I came out a certain sex. I frequently hold the door at restaurants and stores, regardless of the gender of the person walking through, simply because of the fact that it’s a common courtesy. “Ladies first” was fine in the Victorian ages, when women were thought of as the weaker sex. Now, women are considered “strong and independent”, and we still treat females like they are the better ones. If the guy wants to be nice, let him be nice, sure, but guys shouldn't feel like they HAVE to let the lady go first. Someday, just once, I would like to hear the term “Gentlemen first”.

Hang on I’m confused, do you mean it’s sexist to guys or girls?

It's sexist against guys, as some feel like they have to back themselves down simply because of their gender.

Okay. I’ve never seen ladies first as a big issue, to me it seems like a small thing, but what annoys me a lot is that men are always expected to pay for meals and dates, even if the girl has more money on her, because it’s “common courtesy.”

Interesting points…

Ah I can see that. But I also feel it is sexist against girls as well as everytime someone has said that to me, it was extremely sarcastic and mean-spirited. I say we abolish this saying completely for both sides lol. Like holding the door open for people behind you is fine (like that's being polite) but the saying is so hurtful to everyone involved

i think if the guys wanna be courteous, let em be courteous. Though it should be a, "You don't have to do this." situation.

Thank you, Red :) That makes a good point.

The ladies first thing is kinda unnecessary, and I don’t think either gender really likes it

depends on the personality tbh….

It’s a good thing this isn’t tumblr, or else @Born_Confuzzled_Chameleon would be getting destroyed right now, but we fans have a civil conversation on notebook.

wait why would Confuzzled be destroyed?

People get really angry about things on tumblr, especially when it involves sexism, and Confuzzled said they were a menist. Feminists on tumblr would have a field day arguing against Confuzzled.

oOooh yeah that'd be a big issue

Because tumblr is a very opinionated platform with attackers who can comment hate anonymously with no consequences. People on there are relentless if someone posts an opinion that doesn't match their personal views exactly. My friend got attacked on there just for shipping Klance instead of Sheith and they had so many panic attacks because of it.

Huh, that’s strange seeing as Klance is currently the most shipped ship on tumblr, but Red, that definitely proves my point

Not to mention the fake feminists out there who are actually just misandrists (people who hate men).

Huh, that’s strange seeing as Klance is currently the most shipped ship on tumblr, but Red, that definitely proves my point

Yeah it was really out of the blue and odd. I'm sad tumblr has downgraded to that state though

I always see tons of people raising awareness of misogyny, but no one seems to care about misandry. I don’t consider myself a feminist or a menist, more an egalitarian.

There’s this pretty cool (but small) YouTuber p, Shoe0nHead, and she talks about things similar to this. My favorite video from her is something about feminist questions for men answered by a woman, and it’s pure gold.

I'll make sure to watch that later and probably subscribe lol. Thank you snowflake. It's nice to have civil discussions on matters like this.

The "ladies first" thing, is actually what we call "benevolent sexism" that, as you may know, comes from a place and time that happens to be less progressive than our own, the Middle Ages. See, back when chivalry was at large, knights were supposed to evacuate the women and children out of a war zone first. Of course some time after knights and official chivalry were ended, the term "ladies first", was turned into benevolent sexism, as women were believed to be the "weaker vessel", and all that sexist nonsense. I'm surprised it's still in use today, but I think it's awful to see women being flattered by this gesture. I personally don't use it. I'm not some SJW or anything, but equality is something that I live by, and I'll be damned if I deny it to anyone.

Yes.

At my youth group, the guys were just like

Isaiah: You know you can go first right
Me: Yeah
Isaiah: So why dont you
Me: Cause I don't want to
Levi: Why tho
Me: Cause its sexist
Isaiah: No its not
Me: Yes it is
Isaiah: No its not just go first
Levi: What does sexist mean
Isaiah: explains it
Levi: Its not
Me: -_-

Most guys don't know the implications behind it either.

Yeah

People get really angry about things on tumblr, especially when it involves sexism, and Confuzzled said they were a menist. Feminists on tumblr would have a field day arguing against Confuzzled.

I am a feminist. And yet I'm not gonna argue. Because real feminists believe in gender equality, we just call ourselves feminists because women haven't been experiencing that equality much. And I don't want a flamewar.

Confuzzled makes some good points, though there are things I'd like to correct I won't since I don't want to offend anyone.

Go ahead and share your points, Impossible. I believe that all of us would agree with what I was trying to say, but I just couldn't say it right.

Go on ahead!

I'll probably add y'all's points to this thing.