Notebook.ai

Opinion On my Beginning

@Knight-Shives group forum 11 comments schedule
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@Knight-Shives group

I was a writing a superhero AU thing and this is so far my beginning. Though I don't know if it is good or makes sense at all. (Ignore grammar or spelling mistakes I don't care if I wrote the 5th word in the 8th sentence wrong just give me opinions of the overall so far idea and story)


Perceived as a Villain. Demeanor more matched with a Anti-hero. Perceived as Evil. Demeanor more matched with a Vigilante. Called Shadow, Nightmare, Nothing, Nobody, Who?, Unknown, Unimportant. I am just another person in a sea of people. Just as mislabeled by society as the next person. I’m not, special. Alright, maybe I am, special, but I am not special. If that even makes sense by any standards. Anyway, who really cares. It’s not like I stand out in a crowd. To find a specific person in a crowded… so crowded. Overly crowded…. So many people. People. Tons. judging… watching…. Staring…. Lost…..
To find a specific person in such a crowded city, it’s like finding a needle in a stack of needles. All the same yet all so different. I am just another person in this town, though I feel ‘normal’ people don’t fight crime and get beat up more than they beat up a person. But all fights don’t have to be physical, some words could bring me down quicker then a stab in the heart. I’ve been told that I was useless, unwanted, damaged, broken, destroy all i touch, and cause more of a mess than was there in the beginning. Though society itself is a mess, and maybe I just live slightly out of it’s standards and labels. Maybe I’m labeled what I am because there are no perfect things to label me.

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@Knight-Shives group

Help

person_off
Deleted user

Yah I can look at it later, just give me an hour or so… I’m baking a cake right now lol

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@Knight-Shives group

Alright thanks, and have fun baking

person_off
Deleted user

Thanks! I’ll participate in a competition with this cake so I really hope it turns out good haha

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@Knight-Shives group

Yeah, hope you succeed in baking it well.

person_off
Deleted user

Alright, I have now read it… and it’s good! Though, I feel like it’s a bit (I have a perfect word for this in Swedish but I can’t seem to find any good one in English ugh) messy and kind of vague, maybe? The basic idea of the intro is great, and I like the way you told it.

”To find a specific person in a crowded… so crowded. Overly crowded…. So many people. People. Tons. judging… watching…. Staring…. Lost…..”

This part though. I get what you’re trying to say, but I feel like it gets kinda messy? That’s just my opinion, though.

Other than that it’s a really good beginning!

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@Knight-Shives group

Alright. Yeah with that part I was trying to get at an idea of anxiety without going into details. I just wanted it with words. But I understand exactly what you mean.

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@Knight-Shives group

I was going to have this story related to fear but I decided that that should be a different story. I was going to base it off of a song that talks about fear and getting rid of it

person_off
Deleted user

Oh, okay! That sounds cool!

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@Knight-Shives group

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bSfmQEM2twE This was the song but I decided it wouldn't maybe fit the story so I should probably write a different one including it