Personal Venting Chat, New and Improved! (Without Jerks)

It does the opposite of pleasing me.

Why can't you just be happy with me

Because Jeff fills me with primal fear.

I have achieved my goal.
_{I can hear his friend saying "I won't tell if you don't daddy" and I hate it}

I love that he shares a name with Jeff Blim, god of chaos
For example

Hello, another annoying update from your least favorite band kid:

So I just finished recording the first song required for my audition, and usually musician’s remorse would’ve settled in before I even uploaded it to Google Classroom with the other things I’ve done, but

I think I did a good job.

Like, I was super nervous prior to recording the song due to the fact that I had only been practicing conducting for five days, but I learned SSB along with it (and the other one but it’s more of a pain in the ass). So I just recorded every try on the song and I eventually got one that I liked. There was only one nitpick I had, and it was I slowed down a l i t t l e in the beginning, and I forgot a breath after the smallest fermata near the end (music lingo for those who cares).

So yeah now I only have one more thing to do, and I’m hoping to get to record that on Thursday if I practice it enough.

god why am i doing this
my handwriting looks like it was written by a third grader
i can’t even take this letter seriously
it’s just so… bad
by the time i’m finished it’ll be too late anyway

dude

shut

but thank Izzy :D

_{also Nate told me that he believes I can get it, and have a relatively high chance of getting it and it meant a lot to me. He’s not exactly the “I’m gonna hide my true feelings” type, and would’ve told me if I couldn’t do it. i feel speciall}

i can’t
you can’t even read this garbage-
i give up
what a waste of paper…

except it won’t
i can’t do this
i want to cry-

"Somebody once told me the world was gonna roll me." - Smash Mouth

okay but for real though–
"The sun will rise and we will try again." - 21 Pilots

it’s nearly 9 already
i couldn’t do it tonight even if i wanted to
i’ve just crumpled the damn thing
don’t know why i even tried

ella
do it
please

You don’t know why?

You’re doing it because somewhere in there, you want to keep fighting. You need to keep fighting.

You’ll do it again tomorrow. No questions asked. You will.

bitch I will not hesitate to absolutely bully you until you do it

It’ll absolutely be worth it later. Plant the seeds and sow them for a delicious reward. Write it again. She’s your mother, she’ll be able to make out your handwriting.

We're all backing you on this, Ella, because we know you can do this and we know you need to do this. Full send my dude. From the film We Bought a Zoo- "You know, sometimes all you need is twenty seconds of insane courage. Just literally twenty seconds of just embarrassing bravery. And I promise you, something great will come of it."
Find your twenety seconds. Write it down. Get it done. Tommorow.

"The sun will rise and we will try again."

okay…
i'll see if i can find the paper

You can do it.

And Ella, we're really fucking proud of you.