Notebook.ai

please critique my prologue?

@RainClouds_Itachi_ * is distress * forum 3 comments schedule
@RainClouds_Itachi_

so, I wrote a prologue for my story and I really need some feedback.
I did write it 4 months ago, and I haven't posted chapter 1 yet, so sorry if nothing makes sense yet.
also if it seems choppy, that' good. I wanted my prologue to seem disorientating, please let me know if it's not good, or if I need to make it a bit more clear.
welp, here's the link I guess > https://www.quotev.com/story/10387031/Time-is-Broken

person_off
Deleted user

(I LOVE IT!)

Coby

That was very good. as for disorienting, I'm not so sure. what do you mean by disorienting? I am very curious about these characters and the kind of world they live in if that's what you wanted. The imagery was also very good.