Poems and Excerpts and Such

You can write down stuff you want to get critiqued here. Just keep swearing and inappropriate content out of it,
I'll start off with two poems.
~
Why Do You Judge?
~
Why do you judge?
What have they done to deserve it?
Why are you downplaying them?
Why are they the one doing wrong?

Why do you point out the speck in someone else's eye
When you have a log in your own?
Why do you tell them that they are wrong
When you are too?

How would you feel
If they treated you the same way you treat them?
How would you feel
If you spent a day in their shoes?

You don't know them
You are judging them from afar
You don't see what they do when they are alone
How they feel about how you treat them

So listen, O hypocrite
Take a step back and take a look at your life
Before you tear someone else down
For what they did

What do you see?
Are you perfect?
No.
That's what I thought.

Consider Life
~
Consider life
Consider its beauty and wonder
Consider life
Consider its blessings

Consider God
Consider His wisdom and power
Consider God
Consider His great love and will for our lives

Consider happiness
Consider its brightness
Consider happiness
Consider its joy and contentment

Consider surviving
Consider how good it feels
Consider surviving
Consider how glad it makes others feel

Consider love
Consider its patience
Consider love
Consider it's understanding

Consider life
Consider YOUR life
Consider life
Consider living
For us

Absolutely beautiful as always :')
I especially like the first one. I wrote something similar ages ago after being very angry at a few hypocritical people in my life
Yours is so much better and well-focused

Thanks! ^-^

I love the poems Natasha! They're really motivational and well written!

Thank you! One of them I wrote last night, and he other one(the first one) I wrote a month or so ago. Ya I was really mad so I just channeled all my anger into my writing.

In the dark
Walking fast
Hands on my back
Pushing me over the edge

I see a light
It feels so close
Just a few pills away
How the little things hurt

I step once
Twice, and again
But there is a hand
With a grip on my back

I fall backwards
As it yanks me hard
The pain is numbed
I was a fool

Interesting poem, but it seems a little bit broken and rough

How so? (sorry I don't understand a lot of things) also it's more of a story in prose, than an actual poem. Sorry, idk if that makes a difference

What type of poetry is this? I'm not really good at poetry…

It's not necessarily a poem, but if you want to think of it as free verse that's fine. I think of it more as a story in prose

I wrote a short thing, but it’s more like a paragraph of seven ish short sentences… mind if I post it?

//howdy I've got one I wrote:

A light in the dark
A song in the silence
A rainbow in the grey sky

Be yourself
be unique
don't be afraid to stand out.
Come on, don't be shy.

I wrote a short thing, but it’s more like a paragraph of seven ish short sentences… mind if I post it?

Yeah of course!

//howdy I've got one I wrote:

A light in the dark
A song in the silence
A rainbow in the grey sky

Be yourself
be unique
don't be afraid to stand out.
Come on, don't be shy.

Cute!

//howdy I've got one I wrote:

A light in the dark
A song in the silence
A rainbow in the grey sky

Be yourself
be unique
don't be afraid to stand out.
Come on, don't be shy.

Cute!

Thanks!

Whelp here it is:

I am trapped. Trapped in a windowless room. No doors, no way out. I try to hit the wall, to break the immovable surface, but it bounces back. I break my knuckles instead. There is no way out. I am trapped.

Can it be more free form? Because I have what could arguably be called a poem, but it's more feelings put to words and doesn't follow any sort of prose or structure. It's literally me writing in a poetic-esque fashion.

I've got another! (It's actually pretty deep)

In a matter of time
the sun will set
the day will be gone
never to be seen again

In a matter of time
the trees will die
the kingdom will fall
and the children are future

In a matter of time
tomorrow will be yesterday
see it change
only goes forward

Oh, why must it go?
Why does tomorrow leave?
All that I knew, I have lost

Sometimes it finds me
but leaves
in a puddle
of tears
and yesterday

Shall I look to tomorrow?
Should I dig for the light?
Should I learn to love the change?

I am reminded
I see it now
I should love tomorrow
Only if I can find
and remember
the ghostly shadow of yesterday

(Beautiful. And also, guys this isn't just poems, it's also for excerpts and stuff that isn't poems)

You can also post song lyrics if you want(which I will do soon bc I have a billion song lyrics)

Cool! Let's see how this goes.

There’s a thinly veiled pool off to the side, and it bubbles and gurgles and knocks loudly. Wrap me softly in that turquoise towel of yours and tug me under a dappled umbrella. The sun is warm and the yellow of an orange egg yolk. The patio is striped, cream and blue. Your face has polka dots. Green and mossy. Your hands are beautiful, a dark, wafery color, that flakes as gently as you.

Hmmm………interesting……..

(Here's some free-verse I wrote for school)

A Pencil

A tool used by many
For many different things
Marks are made easily
And are easily e r a s e d

But eventually, that eraser disappears
It becomes short
U n u s a b l e

What then?

Seems you can’t erase your mitsakes anymore
Your marks are permanent on the page
You only have one chance to make it right

Or do you?
Your marks are permanent, but
You can still fix it
Make a pretty picture with the scratches left
To brush of the dust and continue
You decide what your picture will look like

And before someone points it out, "mitsakes" isn't a typo.

His palms are sweaty,
Knees weak,
arms are heavy-
There's vomit on his sweater already, mom's spaghetti

Shhh,
The tiny whispers of unexpected life,
Smothered by man-made expectations,
And choked by smoke from lying lungs,
Rose petals and pastels can’t conceal,
Real beauty is trapped in the mind of…
No, shhh, you’re not supposed to say,
Shhh.

@"Angel with a music box" I really like yours.

@"Angel with a music box" that's so pretty! I love it :D

Aww, thanks! :)