That moment when you realize all you’ve ever wanted to be in life is a house spouse and you realize you’ll never be able to have that.
Share things nobody asked you to share
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Deleted user
me too
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Deleted user
Bird can fly but wont fly away. Does this mean I have a new birb friend?
Yes! Feed it and make it a feral pet birb!!
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Deleted user
I live right next to a vet. Sooo that's convenient.
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then you can train it to devour your enemies
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Birb friend!
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Deleted user
then you can train it to devour your enemies
yes...
I’ve just lost hope in humanity. There’s two people who just defended a p*do ship.
….. tries to remember al,the good things in this world so I don’t off myself from sheer disgust at the bad parts…
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Deleted user
Sometimes I think I'm smart
Other times I write the number "3" backwards
Or how about the letter “S”?
my cousin really had to go and tell my parents it only takes him an hour and a half to do his hw
Hi. I'm back from work. And I smell like cheese. Love that for me.
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Does anybody talk to their pets like they're humans? Because this is a genuine conversation between me and my dog.
Me, after filling my dog's water bowl: Water is the source of life, Cooper.
Cooper: Confused stare
Me: You wouldn't be here if it weren't for water. So be a grateful child and drink your water.
Cooper then proceeds to drink his water for a literal 2 minutes straight
He's still drinking as I write this
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He just stopped drinking, and 2 thirds of his water is gone
I talk to everything like it's a human…
HAPPY HASTINGS DAY
YAAAAAHHHH I'M A NERD THIS FEELS SO GOOOOOD HAHAHAAAAAAA
-runs around in a circle-
IT'S THE 954th ANNIVERSARY OF THE BATTLE OF HASTINGS HOORAAAYYYYYY
I may or may not have had caffeine
My Scottish soul and my viking fiancé are sulking in the corner. Harold Hadrada failed us.
HAPPY HASTINGS DAY
YAAAAAHHHH I'M A NERD THIS FEELS SO GOOOOOD HAHAHAAAAAAA
-runs around in a circle-
IT'S THE 954th ANNIVERSARY OF THE BATTLE OF HASTINGS HOORAAAYYYYYY
I may or may not have had caffeineMy Scottish soul and my viking fiancé are sulking in the corner. Harold Hadrada failed us.
Elias is a Viking?
My fiancé can't be a Viking, he's too hot to live in a place full of ice, it would cause global flooding. :D
HAPPY HASTINGS DAY
YAAAAAHHHH I'M A NERD THIS FEELS SO GOOOOOD HAHAHAAAAAAA
-runs around in a circle-
IT'S THE 954th ANNIVERSARY OF THE BATTLE OF HASTINGS HOORAAAYYYYYY
I may or may not have had caffeineMy Scottish soul and my viking fiancé are sulking in the corner. Harold Hadrada failed us.
I'll join in on the sulking, All England ever did after the Normans took over was ruin perfectly good mythology. Crys in historian
England: Look I have saved all of their souls and converted everyone.
Me: You ruined perfectly good civilizations is what you did Look at Them, They're all slaves now.
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I think I’ve married Procrastination
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I think I’ve married Procrastination
Looks like where poly-amorous, because I too married Procrastination.
I accidentally married Depression and Paranioa. I’m trying to get a divorce now.
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Yeah have fun with that, I’ve tried divorcing procrastination. Some how I never got around to it
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I'd divorce Forgetfulness, but I lost the paperwork
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Well… I’m here… guess I should disappear for another few months again
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I accidentally burnt my toasted bread, so instead of scraping off the burnt parts I just hollowed the bread out with my finger. I don't regret the decision.
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Oh, mood
I barely even eat bread after The Incident lmao
ac_unit
>.> The Incident?
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>.> yeah the wot mate?