something happened and i just wanted you all to know

hey. if you don't know me you can just ignore this. but for the people who know me, and know about my rough relationship with my dad, here's why I may be coming back to the site for a while:

about an hour (?) ago i got the news that last night (saturday, august 8th) at 9:45 PM my father was shot and killed by police. I will not say for what, but although it hurts so fucking bad, I will say that the police were not in the wrong in the situation and shot purely to keep themselves and others safe.

so.

I might be back for a while. I'm not sure yet.
I have never cried as hard as I have been since the moment I got the news.

I love you all, and for those who I would talk to about him, thank you for listening and for sticking with me.

i'm so sorry-
I can't imagine how painful that must be…
if you need to vent just let me know, ok? I'm available here, Instagram, discord, even zoom if you'd rather not type, if there's any way i could help at all tell me, I'm here.
would prayers be appreciated?

I know I already said this in our dms, but I'm always here. Ily.

oh baby. i hope you are doing okay. you know you can always talk to me about anything.
<3<3<3

thank you all. it really means a lot to me. y'all are family, I knew you'd be good at making me feel less alone.

on the inside my father was a truly good man. a lot of things hid that goodness, and although he may not have been a good parent, he was an amazing guy and I love him with all my heart.
here's a picture of him I took on a bridge downtown, where he lived for quite a while and both hated and loved.

he also introduced me to eminem, who most of you all know I love very very much. because of this man I've quite literally been listening to eminem since I was born.

my dad was with me through all the weird phases I've been through. he would never let me forget how much he loved me, even if i didn't feel like I loved him.

when I was little he told me that when he died, he wanted one of those miniature flags on his grave (he's a Bosnia veteran) and he wanted me to put it there. Of course I'll do that for him.

and a little update on me: I'm feeling a bit better. everything feels real now, which is good because it means I'm finally able to really process and work on how to move forward. we'll be in touch with the police soon to go through his things and begin setting up a funeral.

oh baby. i wish i could be there to hug you <3