Notebook.ai

talk about what you're writing. give and get feedback on those ideas.

@wolf_girl56 forum 58 comments schedule
@wolf_girl56

I have a story I'd love to put on there

@20stevemad

Could I type some of the story to see if you like it? Also if you want, give me some advise on it as well?

@20stevemad

"All was well except for the few times when Stryker would make fun of me. I was grazing with mom, since dad was out on patrol, when we heard whistles and yelling. Mom perked up and was trying to figure out where dad was. She told me to come along with her to dad.
Mom - Shadow, did you hear that?
Me - Hear who, mom?
Dad - Yes I did. I was just going to come find you two.
Me - can someone tell me what is going on, please?
Mom - Eros, sweetheart, I will explain later, okay? I promise.
Me - okay mom.
Dad - I need you to take Eros to the clearing. I need to stay and protect the herd."
How does that sound so far? That is only a part of chapter 2. (Just FYI: Chapter 1 is more like a prologue and chapter 2 is pretty much the first chapter. So I may change it to that format.)

@20stevemad

It may seem confusing at first, but I also didn't want to give away too much detail about what happens. So any questions you may have will most likely be answered in the full story.

@WriteOutofTime

Well, since it's such a short segment it's hard to tell. But one thing I do recommend is writing their dialogue like you would a human character's. So, instead of:
Mom - Shadow, did you hear that?
Do
Mom raised her head and looked at me. She said, "Shadow, did you hear that?"
That way, it'll be less confusing and more clear about what's going on. I can't tell if the plot is good because nothing has really happened yet.

@20stevemad

That is what I was planning on doing, but for right now that is how it is written as. Don't worry I plan on changing that! Thanks! Do you like it so far though?

@WriteOutofTime

Sure, it's pretty good. It's hard to tell whether or not I like it since I haven't gotten to read much, but it's definitely got potential :)

person_off
Deleted user

socialism will never and has never worked. It is by definition economically impossible

@WriteOutofTime

Maybe not forever, but no government can last forever. The government in my book is less than 200 years old and is fairly stable.

person_off
Deleted user

of course it lasted for 200 years because it's fiction. If you were basing it off of facts you wouldn't get anywhere near that number not even 100 years

group

I've been working on a story where my protagonist, a teacher, decides to hunt down and stop the person that's kidnapping and murdering his students. Not sure on how he'll go about looking for the murderer, though I do have SOME ideas for the story, and kinda know where I want it to go.

Thoughts?

group

I'm thinking about starting a wattpad account. I just got this device and I'm psyched to see what it's about. have you guys ever used it?

I have one. The things that I've posted on there have little to no attention (very few views, comments, etc.), which is discouraging…. However, it does take time and patience (and I mean A LOT of time and patience) to become 'Wattpad famous'. I hope that this doesn't discourage you from possibly joining Wattpad though! Good luck! 😊

lulu

My story is going to be about soulmates and one dies before he can meet her so he becomes her guardian angel and eventually leads her to meet a man who is in the same situation as her

@WriteOutofTime

of course it lasted for 200 years because it's fiction. If you were basing it off of facts you wouldn't get anywhere near that number not even 100 years

Proof? I don't see why that would be the case. I'm not saying I've done intensive research –government isn't really my area– but still.

@WriteOutofTime

Wait never mind, a quick google search proved you correct. So the longest socialist nation is about 74 years and still ongoing. I'll adjust accordingly. Since it's dystopia, I'm just going to assume it lasted so long because people were desperate, and have it crumble around year 130?

group

I'd love to have feedback on a short story that I wrote a couple years ago. I've been thinking about possibly continuing the story, thus the 'ending' is left open.

person_off
Deleted user

I'm currently working on a story about a girl who pilots a mecha robot that looks like an eight-legged locust in space. It's a sci-fi/action/romance that deals with themes of depression and isolation. I have the villain down already, but I have no clue what his motivation is or why he does the things he does just yet

@RedTheLoveless

I'm gonna give you a few questions to ponder for character building for your villain.

Is he a true villain or is he an anti-villain?
How old is he?
What has he experienced that might've driven him to do "evil" things?
What was his childhood like?
What is his ultimate goal? Why?

Hopefully those might help your flesh out your villain character. Good luck my friend! :)

person_off
Deleted user

some stupid politicians in the US are openly endorsing socialist policies. Leading America to the edge of her cliff

person_off
Deleted user

i'll be glad when I can vote in a couple months. Then I can actively decide to try to get a recall started for some of the politicians in my state

person_off
Deleted user

I don't know if the emotional delivery for these vocals that I just finished recording a few days ago is good enough

Aminah

Need help in a story where a girl uncovers her best friend's secrets after his death

@WriteOutofTime

socialist policies like free health care are good and sustainable…

person_off
Deleted user

if we were to adopt those policies, we would be spending $33 billion per year on healthcare. That is much too expensive to be legitimately sustainable. Yeah it can last for sometime, but no it won't last for as long as the country and will probably be the downfall of many of Europe's countries

@WriteOutofTime

….we spend $610.096 billion on military. How in the heck is $33 billion not sustainable?

person_off
Deleted user

Hey, could you guys stop talking about politics? It's dumb, brash, and has nothing to do with the actual topic of the discussion

@WriteOutofTime

Sorry! At first it pertained to the politics in my book, but we got sidetracked. I don't think talking politics is "dumb" and "brash" but I agree it's probably not for this thread.

person_off
Deleted user

Sorry! At first it pertained to the politics in my book, but we got sidetracked. I don't think talking politics is "dumb" and "brash" but I agree it's probably not for this thread.

Thank you!