You Can Ignore This if You Want. It’s Just a Rant.

Why am I going to my councilor?

Well my day was absolutely fucking atrocious and I can’t handle it any more. I’m going to go tell her of my suspicions of mental illness.

Now, why am I doing/ thinking that?

My grades are hideous. I don’t know what to do and I feel stumped and stupid, not to mention useless and just plain awful. I need help. I’m getting it. I don’t care if she tells my parents.

But I kinda do at the same time. Why? Well, it’s because of my parents that I feel this way. They have put me under the expectation that I am TRYING and unfortunately FAILING to work up to. I’m working my hardest. I really am. I don’t know how to study, I don’t feel smart enough to, and I can’t pay attention in my classes. I feel unmotivated and slumped down in health, mental and physical.

I’ve been feeling this way for a while. And I really don’t want to drop my honors/AP class. But that’s what my parents want. They want to drop me down to all grade-level and watch me crumble as I take too-easy classes for my level (If they drop me down, I’d be taking classes I already took and passed). Not to mention I would probably be worse mental-health wise as well. I just don’t like the idea of them literally telling me I’m not smart enough.

I feel like I’m at a prison. I can’t have friends over and I can’t go out. I can’t stay after school for my clubs (which will help me get into college) unless it is for tutoring.

I don’t know why they think I’m being so “pissy”. I’m just tired and done. I feel emotionless and stupid. I want to fall asleep and never wake up again.

Shit, I’m really sorry Emi
Can I give you a huge digital hug? If there’s ever anything I can do for you, don’t hesitate to ask

Thanks Topaz. I really need a hug rn. I feel like I’m gonna burst out into tears I’m so stressed.

Have the biggest fucking hug ever
hugs you
Cry if ou need it, sometimes it helps

I'm going to kill your parents if I ever find them

_{Shit that sounds creepy}

I'm going to kill your parents if I ever find them

_{Shit that sounds creepy}

It doesn’t

Please do

Have the biggest fucking hug ever
hugs you
Cry if ou need it, sometimes it helps

hugs back

I cried earlier and it just made my eyes puffy and tired

I’m so indescribably sorry
But going for help might make a positive difference! I really hope it does

I'm going to kill your parents if I ever find them

_{Shit that sounds creepy}

It doesn’t

Please do

Oh yay, okay then, anyone wanna join me then?

I’m so indescribably sorry
But going for help might make a positive difference! I really hope it does

It’s okay. Do you think it’s some kind of abuse?

I know it’s sudden but it’s been on my mind

I don’t know the full story or your parents personally, so it’s hard to say
But they definitely are not treating you right
At all

Imean I can give you examples

But I’m feeling kind of dead atm so they might be lame

I’m positive that they wouldn’t be lame

They might

What type of thing do you wanna know?

I'm going to kill your parents if I ever find them

_{Shit that sounds creepy}

It doesn’t

Please do

Oh yay, okay then, anyone wanna join me then?

I'll join you on that mission for sure

They might

What type of thing do you wanna know?

I don't know, I'm not a professional so I really can't say
I hope the counsellor helps

Thanks Autumn. It’s okay. I’m feeling better now that I’ve had time to cool off. I still feel really tired.

Nah, I’m probably going to go to bed soon, since it is almost 8 here.

Sleep tight, then, I'm glad you're feeling a bit better

Thanks Topaz. I hope you have a good night top.

I'm going to kill your parents if I ever find them

_{Shit that sounds creepy}

It doesn’t

Please do

Oh yay, okay then, anyone wanna join me then?

I'll join you on that mission for sure

Yayyyy, what should we use?

thanks, gnight :)

:)

Emi… I hope you see this…

You are more than a positive force on here and I think you're an amazing, deep, interesting person and that you're very special and unique… But that's enough praise…

If you need to practice mindfulness… I know what you're thinking, but don't knock it til' you try it… Doing so would be incredibly foolish.

Subliminal videos will help too… Fall asleep to one that you think will help ypu each night… Burn those messages into your subconscious…

Or you could do something I personally invented to help @RedTheHoHoHoHopeless. Here are the steps…

1. Get calm, relax, sit down, shut those pretty eyes, and try squared breathing. 4 second inhale, hold for 4 seconds, 4 second exhale.
2. Remember the three most positive things you've done (your influence on this site counts as one and is definitely positive) and keep them fresh in your mind…
3. Take a few minutes to let yourself be enraptured in the positivity of those memories… Of how good they made you feel… Let these memories become you…

That's all I got.

Mindfulness is actually so helpful, and so is meditation!