Notebook.ai

Can I have feedback on this world?

@MoreSushi group forum 7 comments schedule
group
@MoreSushi group

Okay, so I'm trying to start a long-term writing project and I have this idea for a universe that I'd like feedback on (I haven't filled out anything about it here).

Basically, everyone is divided into Good and Evil by a group of people hired by the Good leader to decide this. The people put into Good get the best education and are the only people eligible to be a part of the government. The people put into Evil don't get a good education and don't have any say in the government.

Now, here's why this system exists: The world is made out of two kingdoms: the Twisted Fields and the Ethereal Forest. One day, the leader of the Twisted Fields stole some of the magic books from the Ethereal Forest. This caused the leaders to argue, and this eventually turned into a war, in which the Ethereal Forest won. The leader of the Ethereal Forest decided that he would call anyone in the Ethereal Forest Good, and anyone in the Twisted Fields Evil. This eventually turned into the system stated above.

This story's going to be about exploring the concept of Good and Evil. I'd like whatever feedback and constructive criticism you can offer.

@Yamatsu

It seems very ham-fisted in regards to the concept you're trying to explore and doesn't seem like it would last very long. Logistically, The Ethereal Forest wouldn't be challenged by the Twisted Fields due to the war proving who's stronger, but what prevents the TF people from seceding from the EF and starting their own country?

group
@MoreSushi group

That's a fair point. This isn't a really thought-out universe yet, just a concept, so it's definitely bound to have a LOT of flaws.

As for the answer… yep I definitely need to put more thought into this concept I totally didn't just think up on a whim last night at 9pm

Thank you for the feedback though, I really appreciate it

brightness_7
@tomat brightness_7

Hello.
I'll keep it simple: the idea of good vs evil in a war is very common, so it would be best to make it unique. Of course you don't have to, but an unprecedented thing will make your universe stand out. The matter of good and evil is important to talk about, but let's be honest, it can be seen everywhere and in time it may start to seem tiresome. Nonetheless I encourage you to write it, because in the process you might come up with new ideas that will make your work even better. If it's a long-term project, you'll have plenty of time to think and brainstorm.
Just don't stop writing
Veg

group
@MoreSushi group

Thank you for your feedback!

flag
@Reblod flag

When I read the idea the first thing I thought about was the Roman Republic and the class divide between the patricians and the plebeians. While I agree that since it's a new idea it will likely evolve over time, I still think that the division between those with a good education and political influence and those without is interesting (although I may be biased).

All good worlds and stories start with a simple concept sort of like this one so I trust that it will turn into something awesome if you keep working at it.
That being said, if you ever need help with worldbuilding or generating ideas don't be afraid to ask!

group
@MoreSushi group

Thank you for your feedback :)