location_city
WC: 3345
Warning: There is a whole load of backstory in this chapter but it is necessary to understand the rest of the novel and I didn't want to write it as a prologue.
Thanks :)
https://www.evernote.com/shard/s482/sh/af99ac7b-b544-4af4-ad6e-c15f4d4c9748/2fd6bfa3f1052a274af579a334ccce94
hey I'm doing this now,
lol i don't know if you wanted feed back (you probably did idk why i feel bad) here it is:
1: After only reading for a little bit, I noticed you have very large chunks of text, I suggest making smaller paragraphs
2: The backstory isn't actually bad, but it makes it boring, maybe try and add something that would grab the attention of who ever's reading
3: If I were you I'd more dialogue, maybe show Lizzie's personality more??
4: If you have any other main characters or side kicks or something, I'd in the first chapter
You did a really good job, it was kinda hard to find things wrong with it, but the things I listed could maybe make it better, even if just by a little.
location_city
Hi, sorry me took me so long to reply but my internet is really dodgy and cuts out every 2 minutes.
I typically write long paragraphs because a paragraph generally signals a change in idea and I have a tendency to prattle on when it comes to conceptual stuff and descriptions, i also like each paragraph to be it's own isolated story. I guess it depends on if you read this on the mobile version or not but on my mac each paragraph is roughly five lines long which is about the average for a published novel depending on genre and style.
As I stated above the backstory is really necessary to the rest of the book and I didn't want to write it as a prologue, simply because I wanted to introduce the town and backstory together the same way a tv show would. This is also why there isn't much dialogue or many characters in the first chapter (they do come up in the second chapter a hell of a lot more - which I haven't finished writing yet). Contrary to what is taught in schools, a first chapter does not have to be your only introductory chapter - especially when there is a lot of world building. I also feel that introduction to characters and backstory and the present day world would have been a bit overwhelming to the reader if I had put them all in one chapter.
Thanks for the criticism :), N.
Yes, your welcome. And I have to say, even with the minor problems i found, it was still amazing, and I'd love to read the second chapter when you've finished!
