group
if I post a teaser, will all y'all's tell me if it's worth continuing or shall I scrap
Teaser????
group
Go for it!
Sure.
school
Yup!
Do it! :D
person_off
Deleted user
Yelling DO IT :D
group
fUKk oKAeE
group
sorry, it should work now
https://www.notebook.ai/documents/102995
group
oh sheets, I forgot to put that tha's the prologe and water
group
(*Whatever)
group
Please do I shared my terrible prolouge and whatever, even though it sucks and you don't understand it. you sort of (not really) owe me
school
Eyyy this is actually really intriguing, I do think that you should continue it! Although, you might want to add more of a backstory, of some kinds.
Okay so
I like how you put the little easter-egg of Binary in there. It adds a little to the whole of the story.
Grammar and punctuation could use some polishing up, and a little more filler should do.
All in all, it's a good start. It's vague, but that's not necessarily a bad thing.
group
thank you.
Of course. ^^
I really like the ending, but it seems like you started out a little weak. The song lyrics interrupting the paragraphs is visually a little confusing.
group
thank you all so much! Edits will be made (as this was an experimental draft) and I'd really appreciate the harshest feedback you can throw me. Just be as ruthless as possible (not grammar)
Shame my family,
– Block
I agree with what others are saying, but you definitely have something going here!! I LOVED the ending, definitely keep that! I would just work on the beginning, but I do like what' you've got!
person_off
Deleted user
I agree with what others are saying, but you definitely have something going here!! I LOVED the ending, definitely keep that! I would just work on the beginning, but I do like what' you've got!
^^^
Hey, your teaser was real cool! There's some places where I think you should add periods to make your sentences flow better, and just some little grammar things, but it was pretty easy to read. You have the song lyrics in the first part but not the second, so that threw me off a bit, but as long as you make the separation between the two parts a bit clearer you should be good! Nice job!
It's very interesting, to say the least.
school
gasp andrew (Our Supreme Lord and Overseer) has entered the chat!
lol
person_off
Deleted user
gasp andrew (Our Supreme Lord and Overseer) has entered the chat!
o.o