Anyone up for a gay oxo? (closed)

(Real thiccccc)

“That’s great. I’m not a woman, by the way.” He glanced at the drunk Human with a slight raise of his eyebrows. “I think you can tell that I don’t have tits or anything. So like… maybe don’t flirt with me?” Zack wasn’t really a big guy on flirting. He preferred just getting down to business and nosing around to what the person would want from him. But he wasn’t about to be ruder and just ask the Human what he wanted. That’d be stupid.

"I know you're not a woman," Bryn answered snappily because he wasn't that drunk. He knew what he was doing and who he was talking to, if only vaguely. "And I dunno why that should stop me from flirting anyways, it's so much fun to flirt with nice-looking guys like you." He paused, seeming to deflate a little at Zack's disinterest. Of course, this guy didn't like him! Who would? "But obviously, if you don't like it, I can just go. 'M sorry I wasted your time, I'm kinda really drunk."

“I know you are.” He pointed his chin up to the ceiling, crossing his arms and leaning against the wall again. He was only here to ask unpopular Humans if they wanted someone dead or get a good night of pleasure. He wasn’t a hooker but he might as well be.
“I think I’ll just leave. You can find some other guy to flirt with.”

"But I don't wanna flirt with another guy." Bryn tried to take a step back and abruptly realized that he couldn't actually walk that well. He stumbled over to the wall to hold himself up, accidentally bumping into Zack. He tried to apologize, but all he could manage was a confused hum as the room started to blur around him. Hopefully, the host would let him crash on the couch for a while because he was going to be in a world of pain tomorrow.

Zack flashed his pointy, white teeth at the Human, only to realize that he was using him as a stabilizer. "Whatever. I'm gonna take you home to wherever you live. Where do you live?" He dragged the Human outside and uncurled his wings once they were in the pitch black, so the Human couldn't see them. Well, he might as well know that he's a Demon or otherwise he'd be out of work that night.

Bryn's arms were clamped around Zack's neck as they walked and he leaned into him heavily. Was this always so hard? And wasn't it normally a bad idea to give a stranger your address? Especially if you were drunk off your ass? Aw, fuck it. What's the worst that could happen? "1334 Harrington street. In that fancy highrise. 'M on the third floor, room 3C."

"Alright." He could maybe stay with the Human for the night and steal all of his food for bothering him. Good idea, Zack. He launched off into the air, flying towards the street with the apartment complex quite quickly and landing on the porch. He set the Human down after breaking into his apartment through the backdoors, pushing him down onto the couch and wandering off to the kitchen.

Bryn squawked loudly at Zack for breaking his doors, but he didn't really seem to be angry. This was mostly because he thought he had started to hallucinate, and also maybe wonder if he should be more careful about his alcohol intake. Normally he didn't have visions of flying, he just felt the floor wobbling under his feet and shit like that.

The kitchen was empty save a few packets of ramen and a tub of cream cheese that had been expired for three days. It, like the rest of the apartment, had an aura of disrepair. Like Bryn couldn't be bothered to live well.

Zack stormed into his living room and patted him down for his wallet, poaching it and flying out to a grocery store they passed angrily. He might as well be taking care of this Human because hot damn the Demon was hungry. He landed and grabbed some things, a loaf of bread, more ramen, milk, cereal, a ton of snacks, and some plasticware and plastic bowls and plates.

He returned and basically threw the Human's wallet at him again, huffing loudly as he started putting things away and noisily opening a bag of chips.

Bryn squeaked when the wallet hit him, shooting Zack a mopey glare from his spot on the couch. "Y'know normally people ask when they want something. It's kinda rude to just steal shit." He forced himself up into a sitting position, groaning when the world started to spin. "And make me some Raman while you're in the kitchen."

"Fuck you! Make your own damn ramen you stupid Human!" Zack snapped back angrily as he stalked into the kitchen again after walking out to listen to the Human talk. Apparently that was a mistake because all it did was waste his brain cells. He crunched his chips angrily and decided to stay in the kitchen for the night.

"Fuck you, asshole. It's my fucking house and technically those are my chips you're eating." He stumbled to his feet and braved the 20 step walk to the kitchen. Once he got there, he had to brace himself on the doorway. "At least get me a cup of water or something." He rolled his eyes at Zack. "I know you have a drop of empathy somewhere in you, beanpole. Use it."

"I'm not gonna use it on a Human like you. I don't care. I'm the one who had to deal with you last, and I'm hungry and tired of everything, so I'm crashing here and I'm not your maid. Unless you want a Contract where I'm bound to you, then too bad sweetheart, you have to do your own stuff." He wrinkled his nose at the Human and continued crunching loudly just to prove a point.

"Well maybe I do want a contract, ever think of that fuckmunch?" Bryn asked, just to be annoying. To be honest, it was taking most of his effort not to fall over and he'd heard maybe three of the words Zack said. Still, it was easier to pick a fight than to calm down and let Zack know how deeply exhausted he was. How he didn't actually think he could grab a cup of water right now without falling unconscious or breaking a glass and ripping himself to shreds trying to clean it up. "You'd pick up on shit like that if you weren't so up your own ass all the time."

"Well maybe fucking line up, asshole. You're clearly off of your damn rocker." He moved forward and pushed the Human just a little bit, seeing if he'd fall over. He wanted to tell this Human and tell him he was not as tough as he thought. Drunk Humans were the worst, and Zack never had any respect for them. Zack had little respect for Humans in the first place. Mostly because they always thought about themselves, like Bryn was right now.

Bryn was white-knuckling the wall to stay on his feet, face several shades paler than it had been before Zack got all up in his space. Up close he looked considerably worse, eyes glazed like he had a fever and a dozen nervous ticks playing out across his face. "I'm perfectly fine, dickhead. I said I wanted to make a fucking contract, so why don't you clean out your damn ears and make one with me. Or am I not getting through that thick fucking skull of yours?"

Zack, a not-drunk very strong Demon guy glared down at him and actually pushed him again, pushing him back away from the wall.
"Right, says the one who isn't even present with his skull right now. How about you just go lay down and wake up tomorrow hungover and a little less stupid before you decide you want something from me? Besides, the fuck would you want? A blowjob? That's all I can imagine from someone like you."

Bryn wobbled on his feet now that the wall was gone, overcorrecting and toppling forward into Zack. He threw his arms around his neck on instinct, privately glad that Zach was basically a tree and provided a very solid surface to regain his balance on. He blinked heavily, trying to stop the room from spinning. "Are you kidding? Knowing you, you'd fucking bite my dick off. I'd want… a companion. Someone to help me out. Be there when I got home and stuff." Shit, that was too honest! "And what do you mean someone like me!? I'm a perfectly nice guy!" Hopefully, it would work as a distraction.

Zack hissed through his teeth and showed them to Bryn angrily, showing his glistening, sharp teeth again. He did not want to be stunk up, because then he'd have to shower somewhere and it was definitely going to be here. But he didn't have shampoo and conditioner, neither of which he used in a long while and wanted to.
"Yeah, I don't think I would, because then I'd be killed by someone for disobeying a Human. And sure, I guess I could be your companion, but not if you're gonna treat me like this!"

Bryn paused when Zack showed off his fangs, gaze dancing between him and the floor. Eventually, he stared back up at Zack with a weak glare, unfazed except for the fear sparkling in his eyes. It was poorly hidden, completely obvious if you looked for more than a few seconds.

"Oh, I'm so sorry I let you buy yourself a bunch of food and stay at my house. I'd fuck off to the couch to leave you alone, but my legs aren't working, I think someone drugged one of my drinks, I can barely think straight anyway, and I have this gigantic asshole yelling at me! But I'm sure I'm really inconveniencing you." The anger drained out of him, leaving some kind of tired resignation in its place. "Just drop me onto the floor and walk away if I'm really such a bitch. I won't even be mad."

Zack didn't care about the Human's muted fear. He grabbed the Human and dragged him along, rolling his eyes.
"Whatever. We'll seal the contract tomorrow and for now you're going to bed." He pushed him onto the first inhabited bed he found. "And I'm using your shower. I hope you have shampoo or conditioner because my hair is a mess. Just don't ask me to sleep with you unless you want me to I guess." He walked into the bathroom connected to the bedroom and shut the door, sniffing around as he stripped.

Bryn let out a little huff of surprise when he was tossed into a bed instead of thrown into a wall or dropped. Maybe Zack was less of a dick than he thought. Or maybe he was just tired of Bryn's bitching. Either way, Bryn wasn't about to complain. "There're towels under the counter! I'm almost out of conditioner, don't use it all!" he yelled, curling up under the blankets with a soft yawn. Soon he was fast asleep.

Zack finished up his shower after washing his hair thoroughly with shampoo and conditioner, grabbing a towel and his clothes, sauntering out in just the towel wrapped around his hips. He had heard the Human snoring so he knew it was okay. He went into the living room and laid back onto the couch, leaning his legs up onto the foot of it and grabbing his phone out of his flannel pocket, humming as he scrolled through his Pinterest.

(Skip to the next morning?)

(ye)

Bryn woke up with a splitting headache and almost no memory of the night before. It was all a tizzy of shitty music and drinking and bad feelings, everything so blurred and distorted it made him dizzy just thinking about it. He shoved open the bedroom door and meandered into the living room, pausing when he noticed the guy sleeping on his couch. That wasn't good, was it? "You still alive?"

(Aaah wrong button)

(oof, that sucks)

Zack had only put on his pair of boxers and flannel before going to bed, stirring sleepily and letting out a soft cooing noise as he looked up. Somehow he wasn't in total pain after a night, which was usually what happened to him.
"Oh, yea. I doubt you remember me but you wanted to make a Contract with me, remember? Wanted a companion, someone to take care of ya."

"Y'know normally after you preface something with 'I doubt you remember' you don't ask if they remember," Bryn snarked to cover up how embarrassed he felt, rubbing blearily at his eyes. He really must've been drunk off his ass. Normally he kept that stupid, needy part of him under lock and key. "And… I'm fine with making a contract, I guess. Do we need a pen and paper or…?"