Back on my bullshit (o/o, monster/human romance)

"Jeez, relax, it was a just a bad sci-fi joke, I guess. And stop slapping me, that hurts. It's a shame I can't slap you back, cause then I'll be slapping myself." He said as he went back into the kitchen, serving himself a plate of food. "Alright, alright, I'll eat, then will you explain this really weird situation to me?" He said with a sigh, as he took a bite out of his food. He just wanted this nightmare to be over.

(Yeah, uhm I sort of nerd out over some of the more psychological stuff in it, I guess, also a friend of mine dared me to watch all the seasons, sooo yeah…))

I am a creature called a symbiote. I am from a planet very, very far from yours, a dying one. Our people… want to study humans, make hosts out of them, and rebuild our civilization from the ruins it had been made. I am a scientist, innovator, and diplomat by nature, I only seek to understand humans, like you. Locust explained.

"Uhm, a symbiote? So you're…you're pretty much an alien, at least to our planet? I mean, well I'm probably an alien to you I guess?" He said as he took another bite of food, "Also, how come you can't just live off something else? Or just maybe, I don't know, can you just well, maybe not live on me or something? I mean, do you have to have to stay in me or something? Or can you live you know, survive on your own?"

Humans are the apex predator of earth. They are, while not the strongest, certainly the smartest, and have very open and willing minds perfect for a creature like us. Locust was getting tired of this, very quickly. Now shut up and eat, I am starving and if you don’t eat quickly I will have to feed on you.

"I'm eating, okay?" He said taking another bite, growing a little annoyed with the creature i n him, Oh god, that's just weird to think about. "Also, don't be so bossy, okay? I'll eat, but you don't have to have to so rude about it okay?" He said eating a little bit more of his food, "And, uhm I'm guessing I need to start eating more so that you can eat without depleting my resources?"

Yes, but not by very much more. Maybe twice or thrice the normal amount a human eats, but I will metabolize it for you. this poor, poor human had no idea he wouldn’t be leaving alive after this. It was sweet, but also quite tragic.

"Uhm, are you crazy? Have you ever heard of a little thing called a food bill? Food is extremely expensive for me, so uhm, I don't know where I'm going to get the money to feed you, so I guess you'll have to find another way, like maybe making do with less, and not feeding off me? If that's even a possibility?" He said as he finished off his small plate of food, "Anyways, are there going to be any more massive changes that I ought to worry about?"

I may turn you into a… they searched his mind, coming across the word ‘hugelarge’ and physically grimacing. monster, and a tall one at that. It will assist to acquire food if you yourself cannot, I’m sure there are many lovely humans out there to snack on.

"Uhm, that's not exactly good, like at all." He said with a shudder as he started washing his dishes. "And there are a few reasons for that, number one, we'd get caught immediately, and knowing the way our government is and science is, we'd both be killed immediately, either that or you'd be taken from me and killed, or I'd just be killed in general." He stopped for second, pulling his hair back into a short ponytail, "I'm probably not the only one who saw your pod crash, or whatever the heck it was that I saw, so probably there are people already looking for you, so it's probably best that we don't bring attention to you, you know?"

Fine, but I will have to feed some way and it will either be on you or it will be on those humans you love so dearly. they growled. However, I will give you time. This meal has satiated my for now, but if you don’t continue to feed me, your mental state will decline and your physical body with deteriorate with rapid speed.

"You really are a pest, man." He mumbled as he headed towards his room changing for bed, "And I'm just saying, I really don't like the rest of the human race, I just really don't want to break laws, like at all, by eating other people. It just doesn't sound like a lot of fun, not gonna lie." He grumbled as he flopped down onto his bed. "And just let me know when you get hungry, okay? As long as it's not in the middle of the night or anything, I'll try to feed you, but like when we're actually hungry, not just whenever you want food, okay?"

Typically, one wants food when they are hungry. And I am no pest! You’re the pest, you infernal… oh, if only I could control your simple form in full, I’d be unstoppable. Locust complained, almost like a toddler bemoaning their lack of sweets.

"No, sometimes I just want food on an impulse, like whenver I go to the store or something, I'll find myself wanting to buy all these different snacks and stuff, even though I just ate, or I'll want to eat more even though I'm full, it's just a human thing I guess." He said rolling his eyes a little bit, "And will you just cool it? First you pretty much take control of me, and then you complain about my human form? Chill out, okay?" He said quietly as he began to relax on his bed, "And no, please don't take control of me in this form, or whatever, I kind of like being in control of myself for the most part."

Too bad, once I assume full power over you there’s nothing you can do to stop me. Locust taunted, moving Adrien’s legs through the rooms until they found his bed. And I am very close to doing so. If you don’t mind me asking, what makes you so sure I won’t just kill you? I see that glimmer of hope in your mind.

"I don't know, I guess I'm trying to be positive and hoping that you won't? And could we, I don't know strike up a deal, I handle myself in this form and can talk to you and stuff, and maybe you can have the other form? That sounds pretty fair to me I guess." He said quietly, hoping that the creature might just be nice and agree to that.

I am comfortable making my own arrangements. You couldn’t get rid of me if you tried. Locust moved Adrien to lie down on the bed, pulling covers snugly over his body. You need sleep, you’re too tired for me to attach myself to you fully. If you don’t sleep I can and will make you, and besides, you’ll be much better with me around than you would without.

"Fine." The boy said, not really wanting to argue with the creature or get slapped again, even though he still had questions. So maybe I ask the questions that'll offend him the least? "So uhm, once you well, attach yourself to me, does that mean that I no longer have control of myself?" He said with a yawn, closing his eyes, "And uhm, I don't think so, you're the one who wants me to go around and eat other people, so I think I was fine without you man." He said as he turned onto the other side, and moving the blankets around to how he liked them. But he just couldn't get comfortable or relax to the point of falling asleep. This whole situation was just sort of weird to him, and well it was just so uncomfortable to him, just the whole idea that he was sort of under the control of this other man.

You’ll have some level of control, of course, I can’t go walking about in my preferred form all the time. But I expect you to take proper care of yourself, and that is a threat. Locus said distantly. Like they were thinking about something else.

"You know what, fine, but I will get a say in the other for-" His sentence was cut off as he yawned, closing his eyes a little bit. Now he finally started to fall asleep, well, his body was tired to the point of exhaustion. Perhaps it was the fact that he had a parasite living on him that was actively depleting his resources, but still, he was tired. And eventually, although he didn't want too, he fell asleep.

Locust let themself sleep as well, preferring to not waste their resources on silly things like staying up all night worrying about the most insignificant of things, something they’d learned humans were prone to do.

(I'm guessing we'll just timeskip, so I'll start that))

Adrien woke up the next morning feeling like they actually slept through the night, which was weird for the boy, but he just attributed it to Locust, Crap, I still have that parasite on me. He thought as he headed to his bathroom to get ready for the day. After showering and getting dressed, he walked into the kitchen and just sighed, trying to decide what to eat, he didn't want to have to overeat to feed Locust, but there needed to be something filling enough in there for the two of them. "Hey Locust, what to do you want for breakfast?"

Food, I am starving. I told you. Take care of yourself. I am part of you now. they said in a low, rumbling tone. I know some about earth’s customs, but not much. Tell me, as we eat. I would love to know.

"Okay fine, I thought that it'd be nice for me to maybe offer you a choice in what -this might sound weird- we eat? But if you don't want that, that's fine." He said as he grabbed a frying pan and two eggs, "By the way, will that be enough for us? Or should I make more?"

It will be enough to feed you. I’m not so sure about me. they said, shifting around in Adrien’s chest to link to his spine properly. They had to stay connected, after all, and the man wouldn’t feel a thing so this was the perfect time to do it.

"Okay, so maybe two more?" He said as he grabbed the other eggs from the fridge and popped them into the frying pan. "After that, if you're still hungry I can make something else, okay?" He began to add a bit of cheese into the scrambled eggs before adding some salt and pepper, "And uhm, what do you mean by earth's customs?"

What is a Rick-Roll? Is it some kind of weapon? I hear humans getting highly upset about it whenever they… get Rick-Roll-ed. Locust said, so I can only assume it is something horrible to the highest degree.

"Uhm, it's been a long time since I've heard that, or well, I don't use it that often, but uhm, it's in reference to this song from like the eighties. But uhm, it's not a weapon, at least I don't think you could use it as one." He said with a shrug.

I see. A… song? What is that supposed to be? they asked, curious and wondering so much about humans already. Is it related to anything… useful, for my species?

"MM, probably not, unless you want to annoy people I guess. The whole Rick-Roll thing is sort of used to annoy or upset others, I think. I mean, if you want to do something useful for your species, I suggest learning how our government works, then using their tactics against them to overthrow them if that's what you even want to do?"

Then tell me about your government. I need to know every single in and out, all the information you can give me would be incredibly useful. Locust said.