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Halm nodded, not looking up.
"We can't do it anymore," he said. "Not at night. Maybe not ever." He looked up now, eyes bloodshot.
Big Brother: Gay Edition (MATURE, Enter at own risk!)
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Nix nodded tentatively. "Right… obviously, it'd be ideal if we were able to continue, but I'm not sure that's an option with his current state. That goal may have to be postponed until he's more stable."
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Halm nodded.
"Perhaps some of them will get themselves killed forest and we won't have to go get them." He sighed, leaning back on the couch.
"Yeah… I'm not sure how likely that'll be, but hey… we've got to stick around for a while. Cas is already starting to resent us."
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Halm let out a deep breath.
"And I'm sorry for that. I never… I never meant to push him like that." He rubbed his forehead.
Nix smiled weakly, a sad expression on his face. "Hey, I didn't know we were stressing him out so much and it's my job to know that. It's a bit harder to read his emotions when I'm not a cat…"
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Halm nodded.
"Would you prefer to be a cat again?" He asked, offering the spot next to him on the couch to Nix. He rubbed his neck. He was a bit broken, really. He'd done the very thing he wanted to protect Cas from.
Nix sighed softly. "Maybe for a while, at least… I think Cas likes me better when I can't talk back." He sat down beside Halm and huddled up against him.
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Halm nodded a little, putting one arm around Nix.
"I think so too," Halm said. He felt a little sad, knowing he wouldn't be able to have conversations with Nix for who knew how long. He really did enjoy his time with Nix. He rested his hand against Nix's cheek.
"Do you want to do it know? Or wait?"
"We can wait for a bit… and you can always turn me back into a person if you want to talk." Nix smiled weakly, turning his ears back a bit.
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"Alright then." Halm was relieved by that. He managed a small smile, rubbing the top of Nix's head.
"I'm glad to hear that, at least." It would still be strange, though, not always having Nix as a human. Halm had gotten used to him like this.
Nix nuzzled up against Halm affectionately. "Hopefully things will be somewhat normal someday, yeah?"
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"Hopefully. And I do hope Gloria will be able to help Cas." Gloria, who, at the moment, was still in Halm's pocket. How charming. She'd probably stay there until needed or someone mentioned her. Halm might even forget she was there. He put both arms around Nix, sighing.
"Mhmm…" Nix sighed as well and huddled close. "He's a wreck. Hopefully she'll at least be able to help somewhat. He's kind of proud, so he might not take kindly to certain approaches…"
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"Alright then… I'm sure she'll find a method that will work." She'd better, or else down the hatch she goes. He rubbed Nix's head, settling down and trying to relax. He was still tense from Cas.
"And we'll be here to help…" That just didn't hold the same weight it had before.
"To the best of our ability…" Nix sighed. "He needs serious help, and he doesn't seem to be receptive to anyone other than Zachary at the moment."
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Halm darkened a bit at that.
"He is, isn't he." The moment Zachary was alone, he'd learned not to talk to Halm like that ever. Again. His intentions were written all over his face.
"Yeah… don't kill the guy, will you? I'm sure I dislike him just as much as you, and I'm more than a little jealous of how good he is at calming Cas down, but if he's the only one who Cas will listen to at the moment… we need him around."
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Halm fumed a bit, then let out a defeated sigh.
"Fine. But the moment we don't need him-" Something to note; Zachary was by no means asleep, and the door to the bedroom was open, meaning he had heard most everything. And he was absolutely terrified.
"Your can't just kill him anyways, can you? I mean, isn't he some form of God as well? It can't be easy to kill him." Nix pulled himself into Halm's lap and huddled close with a sigh. "And Cas would kill us both if we did anything to him."
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"I have my ways. And-" Halm sighed. He put this arms back around Nix when he was done shifting. "I'm sure I could do something without Cas finding out."
"How's that?" Nix asked, confused. "He'd definitely notice if Zachary suddenly went missing, you know."
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"Not if there's a cover story. Like me needing him to go to help another god somewhere else. Then… He'd never know what is really happening to Zachary." He shrugged a little.
"He'd find out eventually, Halm… he's not stupid. And I don't think you've really experienced him angry. When he can't hurt you, he'll destroy himself. We can't risk that."
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"Alright then," Halm said quietly. He was more scared of Cas's hurting himself again over something he had done then not punishing Zachary.
Nix huddled close to Halm and sighed. "Cas is way too fragile right now. He could do anything if he lost another person he cared about."
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"Then I won't do anything. I'll let it slip." He sighed as well, closing his eyes. Everything was being tossed on it's head.
Nix nodded again. "I know I'm pushing the subject more, but believe me, it would make everything worse. He would think that Zachary had abandoned him and that your had betrayed him."
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"I see," Balm said with a long breath. He waited a moment.
"I won't touch him, then." He closed his eyes and leaned his head back. Today had been really draining.
"Mhmm… I'm exhausted…" Nix sighed, cuddling closer to Halm. "The therapy session was draining and I'm not even the patient…"