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"He is half of my soul as the poets say." | oxo | closed

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The tips of his ears burned with heat. "God…I'm sorry," He sighed while lowering his head. "I'm sorry for that." To say that he forgot about Uriah, especially during everything that had happened since they last saw each, would be a lie. Nothing but a big fat lie. Somehow that summer just lodged itself in his mind for good. Every since then has been a blur or a nightmare, but those times with Uriah were fresh in his mind.

Hans just kept his head down till the waiter came to the table. With his right hand resting on the table, the other picked at edge of his jacket. Sometimes he would try to glance over at Uriah but his heart kept fluttering.

Slowly he exhaled while staring off into the distance. When the waiter returned to the table, Hans gave the man a small thanks. "We will see," He said as he turned to face Uriah. "I will prove myself. I worked so hard up to this moment and I know you did as well. I will not waste anyone's time."

Uriah managed to regain his composure, despite the blood still filling his cheeks. “Don’t be sorry. Just don’t,” he said coldly.
The water helped. He let out a soft breath as his gaze lingered on Hans’s hand fiddling with his jacket, staring over the rim of the glass. No, he couldn’t forget that summer all those years ago. It was impossible not to. However, when he looked back on it now, all he saw was the foolish, sentimental behavior of a younger man, fleeting memories drenched in golden light. Of course, it had been lovely. Everything in the time before the war had been lovely. But there was no going back, even if it was pretty to think so.
He set the glass down. “Good. So then, shall we dine?”

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Hans wanted to say something. Anything. But he knew all he could say was another apology. He just kept fidgeting with his jacket, hoping that it would be enough for him to push through those memories that kept lingering in his mind.

It worried him, how he couldn't seem to let go of their past. No matter what it always lingered. Every single moment of that summer. Every inch of Uriah's skin. Every word spoken from those lips or written by those hands he held. Forgetting all of it would be impossible yet he could try to push everything to the back of his mind. After all, it's one of the reasons why he loved acting, everything fades until it reappears.

"Sure, I think that would be nice," He nodded. "I heard the dishes here are swell. Do you have anything in mind, Mr. Director?"

Uriah was quiet at first, just reaching for the menu and opening it up to look at the options. They were indeed very nice, many of the dishes were ones that he had never tried before, or he had not eaten in a very long time. Soon, the heat in cheeks dissipated and his heartbeat returned to normal.
“I think I find the smoked salmon to look particularly appealing. I had it once, a long time ago.”

(So sorry for the disappearing!)

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With his head resting against his left hand, he kept his eyes on the menu. Not just to avoid staring at Uriah (Mr. Director), but there was just a lot of words there for him to digest. At least, that is what he kept telling himself over and over again in his head. Pulling the "English is not my native language" card has gotten him this far so it would not be odd for him to just keep staring at different things printed on the menu he was using as a shield.

Hans flipped through it a couple of times. Everything sounded good, but nothing stood out to him. If he was with Allan, the man would immediately suggest him something within ten seconds and he'd just order it. So when Uriah mentioned the smoked salmon, he nodded and said, "I…uh…um ah…I think it looks good too. It's been a while since I had good fish, you know? I like fish…"

After lowering the menu down, he started to fidget with the cross he wore around his neck. Sitting there in silence felt strange. Having this air of silence float between them just felt unnatural. They used to talk and talk for hours on end, but here they are acting like acquaintances. He hated it.

When he finally mustered up the energy to sit up and look at Uriah, his eyes caught a wedding band. The cross slipped through his fingers and lightly fell against his chest. Hans pulled up a smile and did his best to light up his eyes before asking, "Who is the lucky Madame? Is she beautiful?"