Heyyyy //OxO// LGBTQ+???//CLOSED

Lloyd nodded and went paler, stumbling to his feet. "I'll… be right back…" He ran off to go throw up, trying to be quiet so Irene's dad wouldn't hear him. Oh god… I really hate myself for this… He gagged a bit, shaking. A few loose strands of his hair stuck to his forehead, and his throat was burning.

Irene lets out a heavy breath. I hope he's ok. I can't stand seeing him in this much pain. She leaves the room and stands outside the room waiting for Lloyd to come back. Oh I hope there's nothing sharp in the bathroom… She starts pacing, now really stressed about that.

Unfortunately, there were plenty of sharp things in the bathroom. Lloyd subconsciously picked up a spare razor blade and sliced into his skin before he even knew what he was doing. He snapped back to his senses, but the damage had been done. "I-Irene…?" He called nervously, dropping the bloody blade. He looked down at the blood dripping from his arms onto his hands, his hands shaking violently. "Irene?!"

Irene hears Lloyd's voice calling her. She runs to the bathroom and once she sees Lloyd she lets out a small yelp. Irene quickly grabs the razor blade and puts it on the counter. Her hands already with blood on them, she grabs a few kleenexes and puts pressure to his cut. They soon are covered in blood, but the bleeding did slow down. She treats his cut. The whole time, tears were forming and some falling. "Th-there. I-it's all b-better." She stands up, then helps Lloyd up to clean the blood off his arm and hands. After he was done, she washed her hands and the blood that dripped on the floor. "I'm so sorry, I should have come with you, maybe this wouldn't have happened…"

"N-No, I'm the one who should be sorry… I can't even control myself alone for five minutes." Lloyd stared at the razor blade with an almost longing look in his eyes before slapping himself hard across the face. "No! Pull yourself together!" He sat down and drew his knees up to his chest, a red mark blossoming on his cheek where he'd hit himself. "Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid…" He muttered repeatedly, hiding his face in his hands. "Weak… coward… n-no… yes?" He seemed to sort of be arguing with himself.

Irene cleans off the razor blade and looks for any other sharp objects. She finds a few and puts them somewhere while Lloyd isn't looking. She sits next to Lloyd laying her arms around him again. "Lloyd, I love you so much, no hetero and no homo, but you really need to stop all of these self-deprecating and harming habits. I can't stand watching you go through all of this alone. We are going to change that, together. I'll be with you the whole time. I am by no means a professional, but I'll do my best." She smiles weakly to try to comfort him.

"Is… is there a way to safe proof me?" He asked quietly. "I-I feel like I need constant supervision or something… whenever I see my bare wrists, I just want to… to bite them or something…" Lloyd blinked away tears, folding his arms tightly over his stomach so he couldn't hurt himself. "I don't really want to do it… it's an addiction. I-I can't stop…" He looked over at Irene, his eyes shining with tears. "As much as I hate to burden you, I… I-I need help…"

Irene pauses to think for a moment. "Well, let's start with leaving this room, it's probably the worst place, as well as the kitchen, for you to be in." Irene stands up and helps Lloyd up. They go to the studio room again. They sit down. "Ok, I feel better already. So, I bet there is a way to safe-proof you… Would it help to have some sort of cuff that doesn't slip around? It would stay in one place and you couldn't cut through it." Irene lays her head back on the beanbag to think more about it.

"It might…" Lloyd lay back on his beanbag as well, sighing. "Is this what it's like for alcoholics and smokers trying to get over their addictions? I think I'm suffering from some of the same symptoms… it's kind of a mental thing too, though. It'll be really hard to stop since I still believe I'm worthless and I deserve the pain…" He rubbed his arms absently, staring at the ceiling.

"Since it is a kind of addiction, I think you should see some sort of therapist. I would be more than happy to help pay for it. I am going to find some sort of cuff because it might help. If you find a blade, it might help you realize what you are doing and maybe you would stop trying to cut as often? I don't know…" Irene sighs. "How are you feeling, stomach-wise?"

Lloyd shrugged. "Still kinda queasy… and as for the being aware, I've tried that. I go into a sort of daze around sharp things, and I only realize what I'm doing once it's done. Just like I did in there…" He sighed softly. "For now, it's probably best to just not let me go places alone, especially places that might have sharp objects. I know a therapist would probably be helpful, but I'd hate to make you pay for it… I can… I-I can get through this…" He ran his fingers through his hair. "Who the hell am I kidding? I could do serious damage to myself without even knowing. I can't do this… I can't…"

"Yeah, I suppose it's a good idea to always have someone around you… Well, you were kidding me. You will get through this, no matter how long or difficult the journey is, you will get through it. And I'll be right next to you the whole time, that's what best friends are for, right?" Irene places her hand on his shoulder and looks over to him.

Lloyd hugged Irene again. He couldn't lose her; he knew that much. He just wished he could help her as much as she was helping him. "I'm… I'm going to have to go back to my place at some point, you know… if I'm staying here now, I'd have to tell my parents I'm leaving at the very least. I can't text them or anything since I don't have a phone, and I don't know if they do either… if they do, I don't know their numbers."

Irene hugged Lloyd back. "I can't let you go back there, after staying the night here your parents will be especially angry and I don't want to imagine what they would do." She paused and shuddered. "I think the library has a phone book… if your parents have a phone, the number is in there. We could always look." The windows in the room were still open, it had gotten dark out. Irene stared out the window looking at the stars. "…beautiful, aren't they…"

Lloyd nodded and looked out the window at the stars. "There isn't a window in my room, so I don't often get to look at them." He said dreamily, his eyes flicking between the different stars to find constellations like the nerd he is. He suddenly went pale again and stood. "I'm… I'm gonna go throw up again…" He said before going back off to the bathroom to purge himself of food that wasn't even there.

Irene quickly followed him to make sure he didn't try to cut himself again. She stood outside the bathroom to give him a little privacy. "REA, I'M GOING TO BED GOODNIGHT YOU TWO!!" Irene sighed. "GOODNIGHT FATHER!" She turns her attention back to Lloyd. "Hm, why doesn't my father say goodnight like a regular parent. "Irene laughs.

"Y-You're allowed to come in, you know… I mean, as long as this kinda thing doesn't bother you." Lloyd coughed, gripping the edge of the toilet. He groaned softly, his stomach still wanting to rid itself of food that didn't exist. He felt empty and in pain, only throwing up acid now. Oh god… I know I'm used to doing this, but that doesn't stop it from hurting like hell…

"Oh, I am? I wasn't sure if you were ok with me coming in or not." Irene comes in and closes the door a little. Her father never really went upstairs, it was as if it was Irene's part of the house, she just wanted to make sure no one would come in. Irene rubbed Lloyd's back hoping to help him feel at least a little better. "I know I keep asking you this, but is there anything you need?"

Lloyd shook his head, coughing. "D-Don't worry about me… I'm used to this." He smiled weakly in a pathetic attempt to reassure Irene before breaking into another coughing fit. "I… I feel so empty…" He said softly, his stray hair still plastered to his forehead. "It hurts, Rea…"

"But I can't help but worry about you…" Irene stood there, almost in defeat. She had no idea how to help him, but she was determined. She looked at herself in the mirror, then back at Lloyd. Irene got on the ground and back-hugged Lloyd. "Let me help you, in any way possible."

Lloyd nodded. "I-I'd love for you to help me, but I can't help but feel like I'm too far gone…" He rubbed his wrists again, closing his eyes. "Maybe the fact that I don't even necessarily want to be doing this means that maybe… just maybe… there might still be some hope for me."

Irene smiles. "There we go, some positive thinking is exactly what you need, good start. I think you are in better shape than other people actually, with the fact that you do want to stop." Irene stands up and looks out the window. "Are you done with the bathroom? When you are, we should go back to the studio. I think it's the best place for us to be as of now." He seemed really happy looking at the stars… it would be good to do things that would make him happy so maybe he won't feel as much pain?? I don't know…

"Okay…" Lloyd stood up, his legs wobbling dangerously. He held onto the counter for a bit until he was more stable and let Irene lead him back to the studio. He sat down cross legged on his beanbag and examined the stars again. "It's a full moon tonight." He said quietly, folding his hands neatly in his lap. "I follow the moon cycles, so I know that without even seeing it."

"It is?" Irene walks over to the windows and looks out at the moon. "Woah! It is full!" She goes back to the beanbags and sits down. "It's really cool that you do that!" She looks out at the stars. "Would you go to space if you had the choice?"

Lloyd thought fur a moment. "Maybe… I think it could be fascinating. I'd like to learn more about the moon or mars by being on them." He smiled softly, looking for more constellations. "What's your favorite star?"

Irene smiled, she finally saw a genuine smile that day. "I really don't know actually… I guess I never really think about stars. I haven't just looked at them like this in a long time" She looks over to Lloyd thrilled to see him in what looked to her like peace. "Are you tired? I sure am. It's been a long day."

"I-I mean, yeah, but it's only 6:30, isn't it?" Lloyd glanced over at Irene, the smile fading slowly. He looked back at the stars. "My favorite is Sirius because it's the brightest star." He shifted a little bit on the beanbag, trying not to fall off.

"Oh, yeah. 6:30 is a little early to sleep…" Irene lied her head back on the beanbag staring at the ceiling. "In 14 hours and 17 minutes, 8 years ago, my father and I found out that my mother disappeared… She used this room a lot. That's why I'm in here so much. I wonder where she went…" She went to her own little house to hide, that's where she went..

Lloyd looked over at Irene again. "Interesting time to bring it up… I… it's a nice room. I can see why she liked it. Don't worry… I'm sure she's okay." He smiled gently again as he looked over at Irene. "He wasn't the best with emotions; helping others with theirs or dealing with his own, but he was trying."

"I know… that's what my father always says… but thanks." Irene looked over at Lloyd and made eye contact, she smiled back. She sits in silence for a bit. "Hmm, have you seen anyone you like recently?… Friends talk about that on sleepovers, right??" Irene lightly laughs