“I Honestly Don’t Know What to Think” (O/O Closed)

(I can start after Christmas?)

(Cool with me, I’m happy either way)

(I can start too if you’d prefer?)

((Heyo I’m so sorry this is super random and I’m terribly sorry to bother you, but is there a chance you would ever want to continue this? It’s completely fine if not, I totally get it! If not though, would there be a chance I could use this rp idea in another roleplay?))

(Holy wow dude! I completely forgot this, I’m gonna be 100% honest with you. I’ll read through it again and see how we can breathe life into this again; I’d love to start it again! I’m moving pretty slow with RPs rn due to the warmer weather and life things, but I’d love to give this a second shot)

((Lmao I’m about the same, I’ve been trying to get outside a bit more during the summer I’m actually going on a hike with friends super soon, so this was probably bad timing on my part oops, but yay! I would be soooo happy to continue this! I kept seeing Deimos’ character thing in my characters and figured I give this a little poke caused I missed rping with him and Cameron haha.))

(Awesome! Have fun! I just reread through the RP and a few character traits of Cameron changed throughout (like one picky one I saw is that he was characterized with a messy desk, but then his house is clean? What the heck December Emi??), but otherwise he’s really similar. I really like this idea still, and I think it can be super fun to bring back! Here, let me see if we can start us out since the RP’s fresh in my head. Also, a few of my rules changed, mostly the one on smut. A few things in my life changed, and I personally don’t feel comfortable doing smut as much as I did, so that’s no longer a thing to be required. I said “It will happen” due to maturity things, but eh whatever. I thought you’d like to know that)

It was a few days later in Casa De Cameron, and the lanky man still wasn’t too used to company. He would get startled easily by Dee, sometimes do stuff a bit too loudly, and leave without warning. It’s not that Cameron wanted to be a nuisance; He was just so used to living alone and living a regular life, that he didn’t feel comfortable enough to change it. He had lived through two phases: Living with too many people, and living with himself. Never with just a second person.

That is what he would say in response, anyway, if he knew he was being loud that morning a few days later. He was listening to music in his kitchen, humming along as he did dishes from last night’s dinner and the process of cooking breakfast. Today was a chores day, where he took care of the house and made sure everything was as clean as possible. Other aspects of his life may be messy, but his living and working spaces were not going to be as messy.

((lmao, honestly you were fine. I was rereading and kept finding little typos here and there and cringing, and just other cringe-worthy stuff that’s was just plain bad. As for smut stuff, it’s definitely up to you I could go either way. In the last rp we did, I’m pretty sure it was painfully obvious that I wasn’t good at writing it (that was actually the second time I ever wrote smut, and I wasn’t as comfortable with writing top to begin with back then) but ehh now I think I’m a lot better. So overall I’m cool with skipping it if you want to, or doing it too, that’s completely fine by me! I don’t have a preference either way, so whatever you are comfortable with!))

Deimos knew he shouldn’t be here. ‘Just one more day‘, he had told himself, but soon, that mental note turned into ‘I’ll just assassinate him tomorrow’ or ‘I’m just studying his living arrangements and habits so I can plan to kill him’. For the most part, he was very reserved and tried to keep to himself -as much as he could living with Cameron- but never cold. It wasn’t particularly bad, living with Cameron, at least during the few days he’d stayed here. But this morning was shaping up to not be another one of those days.

Deimos had woken up tired again, and he wanted nothing more than to roll over and fall back asleep—if it weren’t for all that damn noise coming out of the kitchen. Dee had been good -great, actually- about keeping his negative emotions in check. Living with Cameron, it was hard, since he didn’t really get a chance to whittle his emotions out like he usually did. Today was apparently his snapping point.

Deimos dragged himself out of the embrace of his warm blankets with lips that curled downwards and dark bags under his eyes. His normally light footsteps were irregularly heavy as he walked into the kitchen. “Why the fuck are you so loud?” He grumbled angrily, hands clenched into fists as he tried to remind himself to focus on the mission. That mantra wasn’t working as well as it usually did, today.

(Nah man, you were great!! You’re an incredible writer and I’m really pleased to have come across this RP again! I love your frickin’ charries so much dude.
I’m not quite sure how I feel about smut at this moment, since all of my RPs have been running pretty slow, so I haven’t stumbled across the situation just yet. I’m gonna assume this one’s a pretty slow burn love, and hope I don’t have to deal with the argument in my head till later lmaoo
Also, dude, same here. Hell, even love for that matter; I sucked at it. I definitely have a stronger grip on how softer more aesthetic love works, but stuff like smut is like “???”. I’ll figure it out lmaoo)

The Russian was really quite shut-off to the idea of Deimos hurting him most of the time. Sure there were moments that Cameron could most definitely say were suspicious, but he was sure not to give away too much about his home and daily life. Well, as much as allowing an outsider into his home would allot. He had mostly put a pause on his regular routine (which drove him nuts the last few days; skipping the gym was never good for him), just so he could keep an eye on Deimos. There were still weird emotions from that first conversation they had that held Cameron back from trusting him one-hundred percent.

But he wasn’t dead yet, certainly. He went on to take care of his house and look into future investments for himself. There were plenty of things to do at home anyway. Right?

Cameron startled out of his thoughts of investing and whatnot, to the angry Deimos. Fortunately for him, the footsteps had warned him of the approaching American, so he had time to pause the music and pick up a rag to wipe his hands. Cameron rose an eyebrow slightly at the exclamation, taking a moment to process what happened.

“Oh, did I wake you up?” He asked softly after his thoughts registered what happened.

((Aww dude that’s so sweet of you man!!! I absolutely love Cameron and his ‘take no shit’ attitude about Deimos spying, I’m really glad we’re continuing this cause I definitely love the way our characters interact!
And yeah this one will probably be slower in the romance aspect of it, unless we want to force it and I’m sure neither of us do haha, so if we were to go that route it probably be a ways down the road, and you know like I said I’m perfectly fine with not doing it so don’t feel pressured or anything by me.
Really? Dude I thought you were fine haha. But yeah definitely smut was just a big question mark for me back then. Now, I definitely have some horny af characters, but I also have a lot of softer/fluffier love characters which I absolutely adore.))

“What do you fucking think,” He snarled softly, not unlike a hissing kitten with his long hair mussed about and partially over his face, “You just make so much noise all the fucking time,” Deimos snapped -over exaggerated, but he didn’t care at the moment- clenching and unclenching his fists as h began to pace—‘pacing’ was a glorified word for it, as he only made it about two steps before hurling himself around and repeating the process. “All I want to do is sleep in one damn day, and here you are making all this noise and-“ Deimos was just so sick of it. He wanted to be alone right now, but Cameron was right there and it was his job to stay here and observe him. Right now, though, Dee just wanted a break.

Deimos turned to face Cameron, his fiery eyes focused on the center of his chest for a moment. “I’m so fucking sick of this,” He snarled, trying and failing to control his flaring anger. Deimos wasn’t even supposed to be in his house in the first place. He should be killing him, that was the whole reason he was in this country, so why wasn’t he? It would be so easy to just grab a kitchen knife and slit his throat, right here and right now. Dee took a step forward, dragging his angry gaze up to Cameron’s face.

And then he acted without thinking. He closed the distance faster than a blink and sent his fist flying towards the spot between the male’s throat and collarbone.

(Don’t thank me dude, it’s totally deserved. You’re a really cool user around the forums and it’s such a great pleasure to be RPing with you again! I love these guys so much, and I think our writing styles fit together really well, too.
Nah I’m totally chill with the slow. I’m gonna try to not get excited with it, which honestly is usually what happens, but this one has some serious plot to help hold the romance back, which I’m eating up lmao.
Thanks! As far as I remember, you weren’t too bad yourself. Man I only have like, one really horny charrie and I just use him for more mushy RPs. Not that it’s a bad thing, though.)

Cameron wasted no time spluttering, but rather closed the towel he was using to dry his hands into his fists, almost in a nervous gesture. He wasn’t really the type of guy to get nervous like this (in fact he prided himself in the opposite), but this particular situation felt different. Dee was showing emotions that had not been shown yet before; it was that person that Cameron had suspected from the start. Had the other parts of Dee just been a facade?

The room had gone silent. Usually the man would’ve taken time to give an apology, but before he had been able to even open his mouth, a striking pain that hit directly on his Adam’s apple sent him reeling against the counter, gripping his own neck. The towel fell to the ground and the entire world seemed to stop and sway before Cameron. The shock from the pain wore away quite quickly, but the pain from his throat persisted as he clung to his throat. It felt as if he had an incredibly bad cold, and his breathing was weak and wheezy from the start of pain.

He had nothing to say. He was stunned. Not only that, but it felt as if his entire throat, in an attempt to protect him, constricted.

((dghjdjhd dude for real I’m really really really flattered. I’m seriously sooo happy to rp with you, I absolutely love how this is going and I definitely agree, I think our writing styles work well together.
And lmao what a mood honestly. I’m such a sucker for romance like I have a couple rps when they fell in love within the first week of meeting each other, but shhhh it’s fine, I love them, they’re all my babies so yeah there’s a small chance he might develop a crush soonish, but I’ll try my best to keep myself in check lmao. I have 6 o/o rps with @/strangebird (cause I just love rping with her sooo much, but that’s besides the point) and every single one of them are gay romances
And aww dude thank you! I always just try to have a balance with what kind of characters I have, cause like variety is just funner, in my opinion at least))

It was as if Deimos’ brain had finally snapped back into his body. His fists, almost shaking with bottled up anger unclenched, and he stood there frozen. His target was right here in front of him, down and stunned, with weak spots open. It would be a perfect, quick kill. As if Deimos was moving through syrup, he slowly turned his body towards the kitchen knives. He reached a hand out, but only the pad of his pointer finger brushed against the hilt before he withdrew it. Should he help Cameron instead? He was clearly in pain, and he had let Deimos stay in his home when he really shouldn’t have. It was his house—what was Deimos even thinking when he stormed out here like a grumpy child and hit Cameron? His father would- Deimos couldn’t think of what his father would do to him if he found out about this, that was one more panic he really didn’t need on his plate.

Deimos took a step back, then a step forward, then a step back again. “I’m so sorry,” He finally squeaked, though there was no way he could undo the punch nor how he reached for a knife. He would still kill him -he would- just not right now. Yeah. That was a better plan anyways, he could wait for the cover of darkness to hide the body.

Of course, all that was assuming that everything would be fine and dandy after this, but Deimos was already spinning up excuses. He had been in a bad mood, that was true; he had some issues with his anger before, that was partially true; and he hadn’t meant to hit so hard, that was false. He only grabbed the knife because he had been worried Cameron was going to attack him in retaliation, and he had been so used to grabbing something to defend himself because his father sometimes took his anger out on him when he was a child—a half lie, half truth. Deimos could do this, he’d trained to be deceptive. Everything would be okay. Please let it end up okay.

(Aww I mean, it’s a pleasure, honestly. It’s 100% true from my end; you’ve been around on these forums longer than I have, and I’m really glad I get to know you so well.
Circe’s fricking awesome! I’ve never personally had a successful RP with her since I’m really spotty with quality of RPing, but I really like her as a person, she’s super cool. Not only that but super talented.
Man you’re welcome! I try to have a balance then my dumb ol’ brain’s like, nah lmao)

Cameron’s eyes widened as the other stepped towards one of his sharp kitchen knives, stepping back closer to the refrigerator and other drawers. His hand found the drawer where he puts crafty things like scissors and smaller cutting knives, pulling it open with his free hand in a meek move to defend himself. He wasn’t ready to defend himself; he was finding it incredibly hard to breathe and stand up straight. How he’d be able to brandish a knife against someone strong and angry was beyond him.

Apparently that was not a fight that would be fought. The other backed away from his cutlery, but Cameron had not moved from his almost fetal position near the drawer. His dark eyes, which were usually so vague and strange to read, were clearly distrusting. The lanky man moved against his refrigerator, letting the cold surface press against his right shoulder as he considered what to do.

Every single one of his instincts were telling him to run. To run away from this person until he felt safe again. His surely damaged windpipe begged to differ, though.

((Me too man! You are seriously awesome, and such an amazing roleplayer!
And yeah Circe is great lmao. I’m really glad I found notebook, it’s just nice to sorta meet/interact with new people through roleplaying and stuff. And jdsgjk what a mood man
also high key I had this tab open for like two hours with only two words written down, sorry it’s a little short writer’s block is hitting me a little bit))

Deimos took a deep breath and took another step back for good measure. He tried to keep his face neutral, but there was genuine worry in his eyes—but that was just worry for the mission. Nothing else. “I didn’t really mean to- it’s just that I was just-“ Deimos got out weakly, then bit his lip to cut himself off. Stuttering would get him no where. “I made a mistake, here, can I get you ice? I know that was bad, it looks really bad, but I swear I didn’t actually intend to come out here and punch you like that, I’m sorry,” He said softly, and even if he really did want to help Cameron after his unnecessary outburst, it was his training that kept him in place. After striking him like that, it would probably only cause him to be more defensive if he got any closer. At least that’s always how Dee felt after taking a hard blow.

Deimos even held his palms out and took another step back. “I’ll go, alright? Just let me get you ice and explain myself first,” He told him softly, without thinking mind you, as his brain scrambled for a way to fix this. It would -it had to- end up okay. He just had to convince Cameron that he didn’t mean it, which, in reality, was partially true, and then kill him tonight. The sooner this was done with, the better. That way his father could be happy with him and he could help his political career, and Deimos could be sent on a different mission to forget all this.

(Thanks so much! It means a lot uwu
Same dude. I’ve really improved as a writer cus of this RPing section. I’m really upset it’s not quite the same tho :((
Also big mood lmfao. Don’t worry about it, I understand. You’d prolly write more than my minimalist bum :p)

Defense is what Cameron felt for sure. His eyes were still dark and suspicious as the other backed away, and even more so as he didn’t finish his stuttered excuse and apology. If Cameron felt confident enough in his throat to talk, he’d have begged to differ with the “I didn’t really mean to”. He shook his head at the offer of ice, yet would actually prefer the other man to leave. The house. Or the country. The latter options felt much better to Cameron’s mind, which had kicked into overdrive of protecting himself.

He wasn’t able to talk, but rather just hope that Dee had enough sense to leave the house. Anyone who was anyone would know this was something gargantuan. Dee had just tried to kill him, in more ways than just one. The strike to the neck, and the lunge for a knife? God knows what he’ll go for next.

((I feel the same. Like I don’t know if its just been because I’ve interacted with more of them, but it seems like there’s a significant amount more of people who just can’t seem to read the rules.
lmao dude seriously thank you))

Dee sucked in a breath through his nose. He really needed to fix this.. “Listen I swear I didn’t mean for this to happen. I was upset, I’m just so tired and- I just snapped, I’m sorry,” Dee took another step back, forcing himself to hold his palms out still. He slowly, oh so slowly, crouched down with the intent of giving the other man an advantage if he was on the floor. Anything to try to reel him back in a fix what he just shattered. “And I just got a little freaked out, okay?” Not entirely a lie, “I’m really used to grabbing things to defend myself and punching back, I had to do it a lot when I was a kid, okay?” Deimos continued, a little quieter but he made his voice stay level. His emotions had no place here in this moment, only training.

“Just please let me get you something to help. Or you can lock me in your room or something if it makes you feel safe enough to help yourself and think through what I’m saying,” Deimos told him, though he was really just making mistake after mistake. Offering to be locked up? What kind of assassin was he? Because his father would probably think he’s a bad one, if he knew how this mission was on the verge of collapse.

(Facts. Not only that but they seem a lot younger and less-educated in English. Not only that but,,, with a lot less, like, developed charries? It’s sort of upsetting for
me to talk like that but
Dude np, I seriously get it. Take as much time as you need, there’s no stressing about this)

Cameron gave Dee a look, communicating as well as he could with just his eyes. Well, that also depended on the fact that Dee had a lick of sense in him, which he obviously didn’t. There was no “fixing this” as far as Cameron was concerned. Already was he so suspicious, only to have dropped his guard by a slight millimeter, only to have it bite him directly in the ass.

No, sir, one might think if Dee was in the predicament Cameron was, he’d feel the same. Oh, yes, when he was a kid he certainly felt this sense of distrust in someone he barely trusted before.

Cameron interrupted his own thoughts again with a shake of his head to respond to Dee’s prattling. If anything he would want to keep Dee close, but not so close that he could potentially injure him. However, on the contrary Cameron would also appreciate a few several thousand years alone, so there’s a few contrasting points and no voice to express them.

((Yeah, definitely. It’s just so annoying sometimes. Like I had to kick someone for -I think- the first time the other day from one of my rps, because I had to correct them three different times. Like I’m not even participating in the rp for the most part, just stalking and managing it cause my character doesn’t come in until the rp pretty much ends, so I don’t even really like to post in there often because it’s an extra hassle for me. It’s just really tedious.))

Deimos knew he wasn’t doing a great job with fixing things, he could see it in Cameron’s eyes. But unfortunately for the man he just hurt, Dee was ignoring it. “Listen, I never really- well, if I did-“ Dee bit his tongue, trying to find a way to explain how he felt without blowing his cover. Currently, that seemed like a paradox. The only thing he had going for him was that Cameron couldn’t talk back—he couldn’t tell him to get the fuck out of there yet.

“Please. I can help you to the couch, we can get some ice on your throat, and we can talk it out, right?” Deimos told him, scooting closer. “Just let me get to the freezer, alright? I can get you ice, and everything will be okay.” Deimos said softly, even forcing a small smile to try to top it off. So maybe it wasn’t exactly convincing, but Deimos’ usual focus wasn’t on social relationships during his mission. He was a shadow, and shadows didn’t exactly talk -or punch, and leave their victim alive- to their targets. Dee had trained to be deceiving, but he was only so good.

(I saw that! That user’s been on for a while with the public forums, but definitely not RPing. I haven’t seen them anywhere outside of that RP actually.
I’ve seen so many good RPs ruined by bad, mostly new, RPers and it’s super disappointing)

Cameron scooted rapidly against the fridge for better support, shaking his head at all of those collective statements. He had no voice to specifically tell why, and the exact fact, quite frankly, really pissed him off. If he didn’t recover feeling back into his throat, he might have to get medical help which would probably be infinitely better help than that of someone trying to kill him.

And look, Cameron might be an idiot, but even he could tell when a smile is forced— one to the degree that Dee’s was. His suspicion became sharper as his eyes widened as the other stepped closer still, so Cameron scrambled to escape from the fridge. He stumbled close to the rack of knives that the other had lunged towards, grabbing for one of them cautiously, ready to grab it if Dee moved towards him further.

((Oh, huh. I kinda avoid the general chat for the most part (save for like occasionally going to the appreciation chat if I’ve been mentioned) just to steer clear of drama and stuff, put it does kinda stink cause I can’t really get a feel for people before roleplaying with them, ya know? Like I just don’t know if they’re gonna be like rude or something, I don’t even know.
It just like always sucks when someone has a really good idea, but then beginner/just plain bad roleplayers join and it kinda sinks the rp. I wish there was like an ‘Expert’ roleplayers section or something, but then again new users/unexperienced roleplayers might come into that anyways and make it pointless))

Deimos tensed when Cameron moved for the knives. “Hey, hey, please don’t do that,” Dee said softly, taking another step back. He really wasn’t ready to try to kill Cameron—he couldn’t, when he knew the male would put up a fight, and the time of day was wrong, someone could see him… there were countless reasons why this wouldn’t work right now, and his heart listened to all of them.

“Here, do you want to tie up my hands? Would that make you feel better enough to tend to your neck?” Dee offered, holding out both hands, palms up, to try to convince Cameron that he wouldn’t hurt him again—at least for the moment. Deimos could handle handcuffs, with enough time he could usually pick the lock with a hair pin or undo the rope. He at least wanted to make Cameron feel safe enough to tend to his neck. Deimos didn’t know how much damage he had done, and even if he killed people for a career, he didn’t like to watch people suffer. He saw and did that enough when he was in training, and even more after, and right now he’d much rather help Cameron than hurt him to gain his trust back before killing him.

(Honestly I feel that tho. I’ve been debating either leaving general chat or just the site in itself lmao. My irl friend most recently deleted her account and it’s making me do the think
Yeah with the experienced RPer thing, you just gotta ask for a whole bunch of writing samples or track down another one of their RPs. That’s what I do anyway.)

Cameron looked suspicious. Like, way too suspicious to even begin trying to accept this individual’s gentle reassurances. Cameron shook his head at the offer of tying him up; Cameron didn’t have any handcuffs close in the proximity, and all of his thick rope was in the basement. Besides, he would prefer to not kidnap someone, but rather kick him out of the house. As aforementioned, he couldn’t quite do that yet without a voice to argue with.

There was no “So” or “But” to these situations rising in his head. His fast-moving, panicked brain had no solution, nor a reason to give a little bit of trust to Dee. He just needed to set his brain back into “This guy is trying to kill me, probably” mode. Yeah, that was a solution, and Cameron wouldn’t accept anything but.

His hand groped for a knife from the set, pulling one out. The metal on metal as he pulled seemed to fill the entire room as the light caught the shining metal on the sharpened knife.