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Nikolas, still looking excited, leaned over—and nearly fell over—to grab his book off of the stand he had put it on. Once he grabbed it with a soft grunt, he pulled himself up and flipped through the pages to find the image he was looking for. "Here," he said, turning the book around to show Markus and pointing, "that's Draco."
Markus snorted softly as Nikolas almost fell, shaking his head and preparing to catch him should he need to. When he showed Markus the constellation in the book, he nodded, smiling down at the picture. "I think I've seen that cluster of stars. Never known what it was called though. They're pretty, the stars, ain't they?"
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Nikolas had completely forgotten about their old rivalry when Markus brought up the stars. God, the stars. Nikolas could go all day and night about those balls of beauty and serenity. The very lights that had saved him more than once during his lifetime, the mini bursts of sunshine that light up the night sky and filled Nikolas with a sense of belonging and warmth—made him feel like he was home. If he could, he would love nothing more than to sit under that cooling blanket for eternity. Nikolas grinned brightly, looking down at his book as he traced the outside edges of the cover. "Beautiful," he murmured, flicking his gaze up at Markus as he said that, still smiling.
Markus blinked. He was grinning. Oh, god, Nikolas was grinning. And he was, quite possibly, the most beautiful thing Markus had seen, grin and all. He was so excited. Who knew the stars could get someone so excited? And then he looked at Markus, murmuring, and Markus was fairly certain he'd fallen into some dream. Holy shit. "They are." He agreed, nodding once as he took a shaky breath. "Just wish I could see 'em more. Elise doesn' have a backyard, and we ain't allowed to have the windows open after ten."
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Nikolas had the words out before he could even think. "There's a spot I go to every night that has the best view. You should stay tonight so I can show you." And then his brain caught up with his mouth, and he widened his eyes some in realization. But he didn't back down, because he had spoken true. He wanted to show Markus the night sky at the best place possible. So he held Markus' gaze and waited.
Markus blinked. That had been unexpected, for sure. "I…uh, yeah. I'll hafta see if Elise minds me bein' gone, but she don't usually care what I do, long as she ain't forced t' show up t' court." He said, nodding, hesitant at first and then a bit more surely as his smile brightened a bit. "I ain't gone and seen the stars in forever."
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Nikolas' smile grew once again, though not quite the grin he had before. The smile covered up the flash of surprise that went through him, but he wasn't overly opposed. He had invited Markus to his secret spot, whether that being intentional or not, and it'd be rude not to follow up on that invitation. "Sweet. There're extra rooms available up here, so you can crash wherever."
Markus shook his head, rubbing the back of his neck. "I can just crash on your couch. Feels more normal, anyway." Elise had made him give up the tiny bedroom he'd had, to the new kid she'd taken in. Markus didn't mind too much, because the kid was so young, and had been terrified the first time Elise had gone on one of her rants. Sleeping on the couch just hadn't been too comfortable until he'd gotten used to it.
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Nikolas shook his head and leaned forward some, lifting his head defiantly and pressing his palms into the mattress to hold himself up. "Nope. You're sleeping in a bed. There's more than enough room for you, and that's what this place was made for. No one's sleeping on the couch in this house." He quirked an eyebrow, silently challenging Markus to argue with him.
Challenges were what Markus did best, unfortunately. Not winning them, necessarily, but accepting them for sure(the eternal mood). "Sleepin' in a bed increases my chances o' scoliosis." He fired back, an absolutely bullshit claim but one said with enough conviction that it was almost believable. "'Sides, I ain't payin' rent, I don' need a bed."
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"Bull," Nikolas said simply. "Comin' from a kid who spent more time sleeping on cement than anything, you should learn to take what you're offered." There it was again—a sliver of his past given to Markus without so much as a blink. This was trust Nikolas didn't even realize he had given to the other man, but he strangely found it okay.
Markus huffed a sigh, dragging his hand over his closely shaved hair. "Tha's what the problem is." He muttered, filing away the information he'd just been offered. It was so hard to accept what you were offered, when those offers almost always came with so many strings attached they could beat out a marionette doll.
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Nikolas reached out with a hand to hook his fingers over the collar of Markus' shirt, leaning forward some more while pulling Markus closer. "I get it, Markus," he said softly, "And what I'm offering is free of charge and hidden fees. Nobodies with nothing is what this place is for. It wouldn't be fair to offer something they couldn't afford to have." His voice remained soft as he spoke, eyes never leaving Markus' and showing how truthful he was being.
Markus's eyes widened as Nikolas grabbed his shirt and pulled him closer, not out of fear, but out of what he refused to admit was a complete Gay Panic. Face red, he nodded slowly, fairly certain he'd say yes to anything Nikolas asked or said. As long as he was close like this. "D'you-I gotta ask. Promise?"
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"Promise," Nikolas said with a nod, scanning Markus's face with curiosity. They've never really been this close before, save for when they were in their little 'spats.' That brought another wave of guilt, his eyes flickering slightly and clouding over with dark fog, but he tried to hide it the best he could as he lifted his eyes back up to Markus's.
Markus closed his eyes for a moment, basking in the strangely comforting warmth of a promise so simple and yet so incredible. "Don' think like that." He said, getting the feeling he knew exactly what Nikolas was thinking. He'd had the same thought so many times today. Opening his eyes, he sighed softly, the dark brown softening into a warmer chocolate and honey. "We…we did shitty things. But I want ya t' know listen t' me. I'm tellin' ya now, I forgive you. I forgive ya, and hope ya can forgive me."
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A muscle feathered in Nikolas' cheek as he clenched his jaw, throat bobbing as he swallowed. He looked away from Markus, letting his hand fall as he let go of the man's shirt and sat back. He adjusted his sitting position so that one leg was bent towards his chest while the other was resting beneath it. One arm rested on his higher knee and his hand dug into his hair. "I do," he said softly, still not looking at Markus as that muscle feathered again. "I do forgive you, Markus. But…" he sighed and curled his fingers, pulling at his hair slightly, "It wasn't you that was the one to forgive."
Markus opened his mouth to say something, taking a deep breath in preparation, only to exhale the whole breath of air. He stood from the bed, pacing back and forth across the room for a moment before he finally managed to speak. "I know you don' like bein' called Niky. I saw the way it hit ya wrong. An' it made me feel like I had somethin' I could use against ya, when I knew full well my fists would be about as effective as shoe shine on metal. Nikolas, man, tha's gotta be one o' the most vile things I ever done, and I-I'm sorry."
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Nikolas seemed to shrink down some when he heard that name, though nothing physically happened to him. He didn't move, just continued to stare down nothing. He contemplated telling Markus why it hit him so badly, but he couldn't bring himself to say the words, as they were lodged in his throat. He looked up at Markus, tracking his movements with his eyes without missing a beat. He could hear how bad Markus felt about it, but his throat had closed up—he couldn't tell him that he understood and accepted his apology.
Markus's hand found the spot just at the base of his throat, a habitual gesture he did when feeling trapped and unable to fully speak what he needed to. "I don'-apologizing don't seem like enough. Like I could say it 'til the phrase lost it's whole goddamn meaning—*I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm so sorry—and it doesn't mean a goddamn thing. Because I can't take it back." He looked near-distraught about the whole thing, uncaring of the fact that the way he was holding his arm drew attention to the faded track marks he tried to hide.
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Nikolas blinked at the track marks, slightly surprised, then glanced up at Markus, and the sight made his chest twist with an ache. He didn't say a word as he got up from the bed and walked over to Markus. Times like this was when Nikolas choked up and lost the words needed to fully get through the situation. But comforting others… That was something he could do. So he focused on that as he came up in front of Markus and lightly hooked his fingers in to the man's shirt, yanking somewhat. Now the height difference between the two was clear as Nikolas looked up at Markus. "Hey," he said softly, voice a semi-deep rumble, "Hey. You're okay. It's okay."
"No no no no." Markus shook his head, hand still at his own throat, not in a worrisome way and yet at the same time exactly that, looking like he was near panic. "I should be makin' sure you're okay, not lettin' you tell me I'm okay because that seems wrong." This whole thing seemed wrong. So wrong. But Nikolas's voice wasn't. His voice cut through the haze of guilt and self-hate clouding his mind, drawing him out long enough to meet his eyes. "I should'n'ta done that. Any o' that, for any reason."
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Nikolas tightened his grip on Markus' shirt, tugging again so their faces were only a few inches apart. "I know you know that," he said, reaching up to attempt to pry the man's hand away from his throat, "We're both guilty of being dicks. We both recognise that and want to fix it. So how about we start over, okay? He simultaneously ducked his head and tipped it so he could keep Markus' attention on him. "Start over," he said again, "so we don't owe each other anything."
It took Markus a few moments to allow his grip to relax, just enough for Nikolas to pull his fingers from his skin. "Start over. Start-d'you really want to? God-I want to start over. I want to. I can. I can do that." He was more muttering to himself now, voicing thoughts that were so jumbled it was the only way to make any sense of them. But he was nodding. And that was what mattered.
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"Good," Nikolas said with a firm nod, then let go and stepped back from Markus. How has he not realized the height difference before? He had to tip his head back slightly to look up at Markus' face, which wasn't something he was used to. He felt bad for the other guy for inadvertently bringing up their rocky past, seeing how it sent him into a panic. He just wanted to take it back like nothing happened, but what was done was done, nothing they could do about it now.
Markus took a few shaky breaths, crossing his arms over his chest instead of holding his own throat, like he wanted to do. It was a comfort thing in a lot of ways. He could feel his pulse with his hand right there, a reminder that he was still alive. Because as long as he was breathing, things could get better. That’s what Maia used to say.
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Nikolas took a moment to look around his room, wondering how he could fix this mess he made. "What about you?" he eventually asked, looking back up at Markus. "Any favorites or passions? I just went on a whole PowerPoint presentation on a single constellation. I think you owe me." He tried for a lopsided smile and a light tone, trying to ease the tension.
Markus furrowed his brow, thinking as he stared down at the ground. "The only thing I'm super into is…kind of stupid. One of the only things. I can tell you anything you want to know about pretty much any slightly notable event in history." He said, nodding with a bit more enthusiasm.
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"Really?" Nikolas asked, tilting his head curiously, "That's not stupid. At least it's something useful. I'm just a slut for stars." He looked up at Markus with the look of genuine curiosity—like that of an eager child. "Give me something," he said with a soft smile, "I seem to lack in the history department, due to hopping around so much."
"Okay, okay. And by the way, the star thing is cu-cool. It's cool that ya know so much about 'em." Markus hummed as he thought, rubbing the back of his neck. "Uh-Pope Gregory IX declared cats associated with devil worship. Oh. In nineteen fifty two, Albert Einstein was offered the presidency of Israel, and turned it down because he didn' think he had the capability to converse with people. He turned it down 'cause he didn't like people."
