These Corona Blues Got Me Down (mlm anyone? ~ One on one ~ Closed)

Nico rubbed his calloused hand up and down his arms, feeling the urge the scratch relentlessly, he know he would get looked down upon
Why did always have to ruin things

He stood up and shuffled to his mirror, looking at himself,
Who would love this, anyway?
He lifted his shirt to glance at his lower abdomen. Scars littered his sides and he look awful. He never wanted to be this skinny, he was just trying to please his father. He wanted to be normal without trust issues and the urge to make himself ill every 2 hours

He threw the hem of his shirt back down and began mumbling nonsense under his breath. He closed his eyes, thinking about how things got like this.
His mother had moved away, yet he chose to stay with his father. If he had gone with her, the accident wouldn't have happened. His father would have never hurt him like that.
Or at least he hoped that was the case.
Softly mumbling Elvis Presly under his voice, Nico pulled the bathroom door open, not bothering to close it behind him.

Still softly mumbling to himself, he let his hands wander his abdomen as he blinked back tears.
~Wise men say~
He bit his lip and gripped the edge of the sink, his breathing becoming ragged as he continued to sing the song his mother used to.
~Only fools rush in~
He felt sick, light-headed, as his sweaty palms began to slip along the porcelain.

Nico swallowed, squeezing his eyes shut. He felt like he couldn't breathe. His head pounded as he tried to ease the pain behind his eyeballs
~But I can't help~
A strangled sob left his throat, his legs finally giving way.
~Falling in love~
His body hit the floor, the room spinning. He gasped again, a pathetic whimper escaped his lips.
~With~
Why did every relationship end like this?
~You~

Nico didn't feel well, he didn't feel well at all.
His stomach churned and his breathing was heavy, he couldn't move as his muscles tightened.
He watched Evan enter the room, and he looked up hopelessly, silently begging for help.

Nico swallowed roughly watch this roommate pull out his phone to call for help.
He hated how he felt. He knew this was because he didn't eat enough. He knew they were going to take him to the hospital and Evan would find out everything he's hidden so well.
He wanted to kick and scream, he wanted to protest and yell about how he was fine, just a bit tired, but he couldn't move.
He opened his mouth despite his body screaming not to. Stomach bile burnt his throat as his body tried to rid itself of everything hurt him. It ran down his chin as he tremored slightly, tears burning his eyes
This was it

A gurgling noise escaped his throat as he laid helpless.
He didn't want to go like this. He always thought he'd die by his own hands, not some stupid panic-attack-organ-failure.
He swallowed down the reminisces of bile and mucus stuck in his mouth.
He managed to squeeze out a little noise of desperation,
"Ngh-" he gasped, the tremors becoming more violent,
"pl-eaassee."

The room was dead quiet. No one really knew what to say.
Instead, situated in his little hospital room, he whispered,
"'m sorry."

"I-"
Nico swallowed, trying to calm his nerves,
"I'm scared to love again, Evan."

Nico bit his lip and shook his head,
"My parents… they went through a messy divorce when I was young. My father was never the most stable of person, but he never laid a hand on us, he only ever yelled. My brother ran away, he was fine, kept up with phone calls and stuff, but I think that might have pushed him over the edge. My mother up and left, took my sister and argued with my dad about who got to keep me. She asked me who I wanted to stay with and like a dumbass, I pick my dad. Things were okay, Mum came down every other weekend to see me,"
He paused, unsure on how to say the next bit,
"She died, on the road. She skidded on ice on Christmas eve. The only reason she was on the road was to come and see… me"
Nico swallowed, glancing around awkwardly. It was time to tell him. Time to tell him why he doesn't drink, why he's scared of his own image in the mirror, why's he freaked out after they slept together.
"My dad wasn't himself after that… he was angry, frustrated, I guess. Like he had this pent up-"
He hesitated,
"Pent up sexual frustration. The crash just pushes him over the edge, knowing he had no chance of getting his wife back, so…."
Nico blocked back the tears in his eyes. But he wasn't crying- no- he promised himself he wouldn't cry about this again,
"He took it out on the person closes to him."
The room sat in heavy silence, Nico didn't dare move his eyes from his fingers.
"So, there you go. That's- That's why I'm afraid to love."

Nico laughed dryly,
"It's the first time I've ever opened up like that. I just have trusted anyone enough, ya know? But- you seem different, for some reason. Maybe it's instinct to gravitate towards people who care, but I'm not sure. I guess I just.. trust you."

Nico hummed quietly, closing his eyes for a rest.
It was short-lived, however, from a taller figure entering the room
"Nicky?"
Nico's eyes shot open,
"Joshua?"

Joshua smiled sadly, tucking his hands in the pocket of his hoodie,
"Been a while, hey?"
He looked… different, to when Nico had last seen him. He had away been quite tall, however he now stood above a good 6'4", Scruffy hair dotted his chin. He scratched in black hair awkwardly before gesturing to Evan,
"Who's your friend?"
"Oh!' Nico struggled to sit up, gesturing between the two,
"Uh, this is Evan, my-" he hesitated,
"Flatmate. Ev this is Josh, my brother."

Josh smiled,
"If you don't mind, yeah. Need 'im to fill me in on the gossip ya know?"
He winked, and only then did Nico clocked their interlaced hands,
"O-oh, of course. No much to catch up on, though." he lied through his teeth