I'm looking for someone that's willing to critique a gore-ish story that I've been working on. I want you to critique each chapter, and then the piece as a whole (well, at least everything that I have wrote so far). I'm also gonna ask that you analize one of the characters.
Gore, anyone?
person_off
Deleted user
Lol this is super late but I will XD
:-) Here's the story. https://www.wattpad.com/story/13025453-winchester-high-there-will-be-blood The character that I want you to analyze is Clownface. I've been having some issues filling out his character profile. https://www.notebook.ai/plan/characters/384865#
person_off
Deleted user
Okay so um…here's the thing. I'm on my school computer and wattpad is blocked, so I can't access the story. I like the character, let me look at him a lil more though.
Perhaps this will help then. https://docs.google.com/document/d/1C0GXCWSW77FBN8Aj1BNcuCWWEpx-hOr9weIyXdFbmF0/edit?usp=drivesdk
I'm having trouble filling out his character sheet. I usually don't do character sheets, and just write, going with the flow.
person_off
Deleted user
Hm, I requested access to the doc. I'll read it when I can!
You should have access to it now.
You may critique each chapter as you go, if you want.
person_off
Deleted user
Okay. I'm sorry I take a while.
person_off
Deleted user
If you want I can also run it through Grammarly.
Just make suggestions. I'll get around to them.
person_off
Deleted user
Mkay
person_off
Deleted user
I think the first thing I notice is there are multiple places where commas are but shouldn't be.
Ex:
I swing my feet over the bed, and slowly stand up.
This should be:
I swing my feet over the bed and slowly stand up.
Ok. I'll work on fixing that.
person_off
Deleted user
There are also some places where there aren't commas where there should be but that's not as noticable.
Give me some updates….
person_off
Deleted user
I honestly haven't been able to read much more..I will by the end of the day
May I? I'm not sure if I can access Wattpad, so try WP and maybe Google.
Absolutely!
I'm focusing on writing before I edit/revise, so please keep that in mind…. Links to Wattpad and Google have already been provided, as has the link to my character-page.
Alright!
I'll try not to point out any writing mistakes, as I dislike when people point out only grammar and don't appreciate the story.
here goes!
So, turns out that BOTH of those are a "privacy error" on my laptop, because my dad blocked everything basically except the fun stuff. So…
If it's not too long, maybe you can copy-paste it into a private message.
in you're into gore, check 'ways to kill people using telekenesis' in the magic section
Summoning @Caustic-Fraust-Is-Beab because I think you'll enjoy this!