Artemis Fowl

Oh lordy. What to even say other than this was a disaster? It was a monstrosity. It was despicable. It was unfaithful to the book. All-in-all one of the worst movies I have seen and 100% the worst book-to-movie transitions.

Someone come rant with me about how terrible this was. Please let out your inner critic and fangirl/boy. We are here to complain about this movie, but you can leave a positive comment if you want. If you have something that you actually liked about it feel free to share! I'd like to see what other people found that they liked.

Also I would just like to add that I realize that this movie was directed towards younger audiences, as young kids enjoyed this movie, but as a fangirl of the series I was really disappointed.

First off, thing the things I liked about this awful movie.

I loved Ferdia Shaw. Not his acting (the acting needed some work), but his looks. His appearance was perfect for playing Artemis. He had the unnaturally pale complexion that they always mentioned in the book, he had the dark hair, the little smug smile, and he was young (I'm grateful that they didn't screw up the age too badly like they did with PJO). He was just the best person to play Artemis.

Next, what I didn't like (I have a lot more complaints…but I won't add them all).

The first thing that got me was how childish Artemis acted. Almost the first scene is Artemis surfing. WHAT?! Artemis never surfed! He was indulged in his father's business. He didn't have time to surf. Even if he did, I don't think Artemis would even want to. Artemis is known for his maturity. I was just kind of upset with the way they portrayed him in the movie.

Also, um…why didn't Artemis already know about his father's work?? Artemis was a criminal mastermind by the very first page of the book! What happened to that? All of a sudden, Artemis was ignorant of his father's job. That just doesn't work! Artemis already knew.

Domovoi….I just…I am so upset. Why the hell was he called Domovoi in the movie, instead of Butler!? Butler only went by Butler because no one knew his name!! Artemis didn't even know Butler's name until…I think the second book? Third? I'm not sure. It's been a while since I read the books.

Okay, last thing I swear. ArTeMis uSeD a GuN!! Like WHATTT?? Artemis never used guns!! Ever! That was Butler's job. Even one of Artemis' lines was "I'll get the gun!" Let that soak in for a second…. EXCUSE ME! Artemis would never. Would never use the gun! And if he did try…honestly I don't think he would know how to. Especially since in the movie he learned about the People (oh, by the way, they are never referenced as "the People" in the movie) and their world in less than I think it was 2 or 3 days.

Pardon the length of my rant. But I needed to share my thoughts and talk with other people about this movie.

I saw "Artemis" Add I just clicked.

Lol excuse my rant about the movie, I just needed to complain with someone cause no one in my family as actually read the book.

I literally just finished ranting to my family about how disappointed I was in this movie. Most of them were looking at me like I was crazy. I agree with everything you said. Just… wow. I was so annoyed that I went and read the entire book series as quickly as I could right.

Dude, same. I was trying so hard not to complain about it while watching it, but I kept gasping at things that were just so wrong. My family would look over like "shut up". I'm sure I annoyed them. But…uuuggghhhh it was awful!!

Me too! And I agree so much. I wanted Artemis to be… well, Artemis. And he really didn't act like Artemis. That just made me really disappointed.

Yes! He was too childish and nice. I loved Artemis because he was a villian in the book! But I feel like since it was directed towards younger audiences, they tried to make Artemis seem not so villainous, which ruined the entire movie. I've noticed a lot of people have it in their heads that the main characters of stories/movies/books need to have a good impression on people and represent a good role model and I think that's what they attempted to do with Artemis and it made me mad. He just isnt the hero (at least in the first book).

You said it perfectly. I wanted to watch the movie because I thought there would be all this scheming and whatnot. Not a small, almost regular child who happened to be called Artemis Fowl doing something that might be called scheming if you looked at it sideways.

Yeah, I was really excited for that part too! I was looking forward to Artemis' brilliant ideas and blackmailing….and nothing happened. It was just too innocent to be Artemis Fowl. I mean the worst he did was shoot a troll…with an absolutely useless gun, cause all it did was annoy the troll.

But I was also upset with Artemis' family situation. Like his mom was dead and his dad was kidnapped by Opal and not the Russian Mafia. They we're both weird and pointless changes to the story. What was wrong with keeping his mother in the movie? And why did they need Opal to kidnap Artemis Senior instead of the Mafia? I'm still baffled on why they saw it necessary to change these things.

I think that the creators of the film just missed out on what the charm of the book was.
We like the book because it takes A little boy makes him evil, then makes him the main character.
We like the book because the main character isn't all powerful.
We like the book because It was Original with it's plot and take on Fae.
We like the book because it Artemis hecking Fowl.
Not because there is a Fairy and some cool tech.
It took all of the things that made Artemis Fowl a unique story and warped it into something more digestible. You don't read Artamis Fowl because it's easy and conventional, you read it because it's intriguing and fun and exciting. It's unpredictable.
The movie just missed what made the books good.

Relsey, I couldnt have said it any better. They literally took everything we loved about Artemis Fowl and twisted it into a predictable and lousy movie with half-assed acting. It's like everyone who worked on the movie just didnt care to make it as good as it could have been.

The CGI was even bad! It looked as though they didn't know that we had advanced years forward and they are still stuck in the early 2000s.

If LOTR could be that good back in the early 2000's than you can look at least that good now, come one Disney.

Alright, I don't know how to do the spoiler thing to this, but this spoils the end of the series so if you don't like spoilers and have not read that far then skip over this.

What they should have done is had everyone helping Artemis Fowl remember everything. Whoever's turn it is narrates the stuff it would be hard to fully act out. We would get cool character interactions, a similar type of narration as the movie, and it would be way closer to the books.