Any Songwriters?

This One's not done, but It's really personal and hits home for me.

You know that
Everybody's thinkin' that there's somethin' not quite right
Everybody acts like they can't see the other side
And you always see right through me,
But you don't see through my eyes
And all the drugs I took got me too fucked to fantasize, yeah-

I think all these problems are gonna make me go insane,
All these foreign people tryna see inside my brain,
Blaming mental illness but not tryna take the blame,
Acting like they didn't hurt me, like they didn't cause me pain,
But then shit got rough
I started throwing up
I started losing weight
My grandparents blew it off
They said it was the medication fucking with my system,
That night I started writing to my parents that I missed 'em.
A couple years went by, and I started getting help
But by the time I turned 14 everything just went to hell,
I met this girl and fell in love and she was 4 years older,
She left a scar on my left thigh and my heart a little colder.
She broke my trust, she broke my heart,
She broke my will to live.
I fell silent when the memories came back
And told me what she did.
I blamed myself, I couldn't tell
What was wrong with my heart,
I started leaving tiger stripes
Up and down my arms.

holy fuck that's good
also
I HAVE RETURNED

why thank you thank you

So my boyfriend broke up with me via someone else's texts and I wrote this in response :)

Always wrong again
I apologized
I'm still left on read
You were out of line

Written paragraphs
Full of deadly lies
You said you held your tongue
But against what guise?

Always wrong again
I apologized
You laughed in my face
As you watched me cry

Said it was your nerves
We know that's a lie
This shit's getting old
For the sixteenth time.

Ah
I do soundtracks for indie games too :)

I have a song in production!
It's called problem child

VERSE 1
You were introduced in the prologue
Perfect daughter, perfect son
then you blew up at a friend who lied to you
the teacher pulled you two apart
parent conference had to start
and now…

CHORUS 1
You're a problem child an issue waiting to happen
A meteor streakin’ down to earth to set the whole world on fire
light your own funeral pyre

VERSE 2
You're not a phoenix you're a wannabe
the protagonist's henchmen who died the second chapter
You won't rise from the ashes of this burnt out world

PRE-CHORUS
and you know
ooh
you know
deep inside
that label isn't right for you
but you can't object…

CHORUS
‘Cause you're a problem child an issue waiting to happen
A meteor streakin’ down to earth to set the whole world on fire
Goes against every desire

[Instrumental Section]

VERSE 3
You're an issue you're a problem you're a psychopath
You're a shadow of a person, a clone mismatched
People see you as a problem that can be fixed
A pitstop on their way to fame and greatness

Everyone's a fair weather friend
they scribble over you with pen
And nobody cares to know your name

CHORUS
‘Cause you're a problem child
yes dear, a problem child

So what will you do, problem child?
yes, what will you do?
oh, what will you do!

Do you mind if I critique it?

go wild!

I have an audio version of the lyrics if I can find it, it's going through instrumental rn

okay so

"You were introduced in the prologue
Perfect daughter, perfect son
then you blew up at a friend who lied to you
the teacher pulled you two apart
parent conference had to start
and now…"
What is this rhyme scheme?
It's funky and I dig it but the first part
"Prologue" to "son" to "you"
The flow just-
I dunno??? Am I making sense???

Alright, so it goes from kinda indie begining to uhhhh, rock, it goes to really angry alt rock.

Oooh, I like that.

I wasn't able to get the audio but when we finish working it I'll send y'all the link

For some reason, I added "everything falls apart."

But that's just me.

I pride myself on being a pretty low-key but accomplished songwriter. What you have written is great

lmao i write songs sometimes
but like,,,they suck ass
oh well, i got nothing left to lose anyways :3

confusion by ya boi

everything on this earth i've seen before
i can breathe fire and pop popcorn
and the music can be bad, the radio's a bore
i settle for less, i'm afraid of wanting more

error, shutdown activated (x3)

and if i can't be useful, what will become of me?
i'm okay, i swear, but i can tell you don't believe
all these questions i never got around to asking
swirl in my head, but the confusion's everlasting

i never used slope intercept
in school, i'm never interested
they say i was intoxicated
but what if i was just educated

on my own terms, i'll do it on my own terns
i don't know if i'll ever know, heh, figures
cause i'm just a specimen
and i'm a fucking pessimist

WHY DOES THIS HAVE TO BE SUCH A VIBE

WHY DOES THIS HAVE TO BE SUCH A VIBE

lmao thanks
that was my old account haha
i literally wrote that on a depresso day

here's a loverboy verse i guess

lilypichu stares at the sunset
god, i’m the master of comp-het
you make me forget the times i felt dead
what are we? i don’t even know yet
dip your toes in and please don’t get me wet
i remember when i was anxious for this bullshit to start
now i’m just anxious that you’re gonna rip out my heart
your words are poison, yet i can’t stand the thought of us apart
everytime i build up confidence you smash it again
and everytime i try to tell you, you look at me like i’m insane

Hi there! I can see it's been a while since someone posted, but I love trying to write songs, but I'm not very good at it. I love music SOOO much, have played piano for like 5+ years, viola for about 2 or 3, and am learning to play chords on guitar (but I'm not very good at guitar :P), and I definitely want to make my own music someday, maybe be in a band if it works out that way. Now I'm trying to write songs, and I've got a few that I like but they definitely need polished. Tbh, I'm not sure why I'm posting here, guess I just want some encouragement and also to just nerd out with fellow aspiring songwriters.