A Thing You Won't Remember

She was being locked in.
The walls were closing in on her.
She was suffocating.
She couldn't breathe.

Elia forced her head between her knees and focused on taking deep breaths. She wasn't back in that room. There weren't walls closing around her. There were just fabric walls on the tent and they weren't moving.
It took time to get her breathing under control. She hadn't had a panic attack like that in a long time. Memories kept resurfacing in that room. She didn't do well with tight spaces any longer. She thought it had gotten better but with recent events bringing up the past, it decided to bring that up as well.
She wiped away any stray tears that had leaked down her face. She needed to appear strong and collected. She wasn't weak. She was Elia.
She looked around the small tent, taking a last look at her things. She would mourn all of her books but there wasn't a way for her to take them with her. She was done. She was done being treated like she was a villain or some terrible person for not being so trusting. She couldn't trust in her line of occupation. After everything that had been done to her, her trust for anyone had been shattered. But at least she knew where she stood in that brothel. She had some sort of grasp on control. And she wanted to go back. There was nothing for her here. She no future with these people. She had came to make sure the children would be alright. They were. They were going to be taken care of, at least she hoped they would. But they were so taken with the prince and there was nothing she could for them anymore. But she didn't belong there. She didn't belong at court. She didn't belong in a castle surrounded by attendants. She was a whore. That's what she would always be. And she was ready to back.
No one would be paying attention to her. They would be busy with the guards and hopefully the children they brought back with them. No one would bother watching her. No one would likely even notice she was gone for a long while. She slipped out the front of the tent, kept her head down, and started walking away from all the commotion, back to the trail they had taken to get there. She grabbed a discarded cloak and clasped it around her neck and took a knife that been laying around and tucked it into her waist band. She flipped the hood over her head and disappeared into the woods.

Elia froze as she heard a scream ahead of her. It sounded young, scared. She pulled the knife out of her waistband and set off at a run, determined to help. But she was too late. The prince had gotten there first.
Her limbs wouldn't move as she watched him kill the man. It was terrifying. She had seen death before but nothing like this. Nothing so gruesome. It was almost nauseating to watch. She used to have a weak stomach. So much as the sight of blood had her vomiting. But she had seen atrocities and she had learned to overcome that. It hadn't bothered her anymore. It couldn't with what she did.
If she was smart, she would walk away. She could slither into the trees while she had the moment to do so. The prince was preoccupied with the girl and hadn't seen her yet. It would be so easy to slip away. But she was hurt. The child's arm was bent unnaturally and her ribs were likely bruised. She could help her. So she didn't leave. She let the prince see her.
In a different situation, it would be comical that the sight of her made him freeze. A big man like him, who could kill with just his hands, freezing at the sight of a small girl.
But this wasn't an amusing situation.
Elia stripped the cloak off of her. She used the knife to tear it into strips, makeshift bandages until they could get back to camp. "I need to see her arm, access the damage."

Elia moved in front of them. "I'm going to touch your arm now, sweetie. I need you to trust me."
She tried to be as gentle as possible but with a break as severe as that, it would be hard not to cause her pain. She used the cloth she cut to make a makeshift sling. She didn't have the right materials or help to correct it. The bone would need to be set properly before any type of bandaging could be done. She would need to make a remedy to help with the pain and strong hands to hold the girl down. None of which she had in these woods.
Elia took the girl from him and transferred her into his arms, ignoring his protest. She gently felt her ribs, searching for any break or fracture, and was relieved when she found none. She would likely just be bruised.
She shot her hand out and grabbed hold of the prince before he left. "Be safe."
She had a feeling they would talk later but now was not the time. She needed to get this girl help. Elia perched the girl on her hip and turned back towards the camp, walking as quickly as she could.
"I promise we're going to get you all better sweetie. There are lots of children back at camp that you will be able to play with. You're going to be taken care of."
She walked through the camp and headed straight for the medical tent. It wasn't hard to guess when she saw bloody men going in and out. She hurried in, barking orders. She didn't care who listened only that someone did. "I need ginger root, lavender, cloves, and feverfew, along with a bowl of hot water. Someone clear a cot for me. I'm going to need strong hands."

Elia wanted to strangle Calvin but she settled for rolling her eyes. She was tired of people telling her what to do. Her plans of leaving hadn't changed. She fully intended to leave after this but she wanted to make sure the little girl in her arms was going to be okay. "Perhaps if your precious saviors didn't lock me up this would have gone better," she snarked.
She placed the girl on the cot, got on her knees beside her, and brushed back her hair. It wasn't hard to convince the girl to drink the cup. She made sure the cup was empty before setting it aside. She took her arm out of the sling carefully and examined it. It needed to be set if it was going to heal properly. She carefully felt along her arm, trying to find the source of the break. If she wasn't careful, she could things worse. Luckily for her, this wasn't the first time setting a bone, nor was it likely to be the last.

(I feel like I should've put in her personality gaslight, gatekeep, girl boss)

(Oh no, not rude at all. It's intentional lol. I wanted a more aggressive character, even if it's not physical. All of my other ones are more pushovers lol. She'll get better when she warms up to them. Might take awhile though.)

(Oof that sounds awful. I also promise I'm not an alcoholic I just apparently hate my OCs and want to make their life miserable XD)

(That does sound fun.)

Elia stepped back, watching the guard. She blew out a breath she was holding. She was tired. She was stressed. She needed a drink, or five. She ran her hand through her tangled hair. "Bruised ribs, likely. I'd double-check for a break. I didn't have much time to check over her, what with fighting going on not twenty feet away from us."
She knew the girl would be in good hands. She would be cared for. Of all her distrust and disdain for the prince, at least he was kind to children and looked after. She hoped. She prayed. There was really no telling if he was telling the truth. She had to have some trust that he wasn't a complete monster. With that thought in mind, she strode out of the tent without a second thought.
She found her way to the makeshift mess hall. She remembered where Lear had put away the bottle. She pulled it out of the drawer it was in and took off the cork. She poured herself a drink and took a nice, long gulp of it, enjoying the familiar burn in her throat. She lowered her head to the table, letting the wood cool her skin. She needed a moment away from everything. She needed to think. And she wanted to lose herself in a bottle for the first time in years.

At some point, Elia had made her way outside by the bonfire. Or at least where it had been. She was nursing her second cup. Had she been alone, perhaps she would have finished the bottle. But seeing as she was in a camp that consisted mostly of very strong men, she wasn't going to chance that. She had every chance to leave. She should have left. She could be half back by now. But she couldn't. She wanted to make sure the kids were going to be okay. She wanted to see what was going to be done about the city. She was too curious for her own good.
She saw the prince out of the corner of her eyes. He was walking to his tent. She didn't acknowledge him. She wanted to forget about him. She wanted to forget about all of it. She was going to make sure the kids were okay then she was leaving. That was her plan.
Just as she had begun to raise her cup to her lips, she heard a crash coming from the prince's tent. She looked around to see if anyone had noticed it but there was no one around them. She placed the cup to the side and jogged to the tent. Her nerves had calmed from the alcohol but she was glad she wasn't heavily affected. She wasn't drunk nor even tipsy. There was just a small buzz.
It was a good thing for that too, that she decided not to drink the bottle. She wouldn't be able to handle this otherwise.
The prince.
Collapsed on the ground.
She rushed over to him, turning him on his back. She got his helmet off of him and tosses it to the side. "Prince? Your Highness?"

Elia had half a mind to slap him. She didn't because she did like having her hands attached to her body but she wanted too.
"What do you mean 'Can I help you?'" She attempted to mimic his voice, which did not work very well. "Here I am, trying to sulk in peace when all of a sudden I hear a loud crash and see your body on the ground. I thought the worst! They're going to see me in here with you and assumed I killed you or something."
She sat back on her heels and ran a hand over her face. "I think you've just aged me ten years. And my face is my best feature. i can't be looking old yet."
The humor was a defense mechanism. She felt stupid being in there now. She should just get up and leave but she found herself frozen on the floor, kneeling in front of a false prince.

Elia frowned at his comment. She might be significantly smaller than he was but that didn't mean she couldn't have anything up her sleeve. She didn't. But she could have.
She didn't reply to him. Only grabbed his arm and started helping him take his armor off. She had plenty of knowledge in removing armor, this was no different. Even if it was attached to a mountain for a man.
"Why do you do it?" She asked quietly. "And don't say it's because you can't stand what's been done to us or that it's not okay. There are plenty of people in the world that see what happens to people like us and think it's an atrocity. But you don't see anyone else doing anything. No one else is there trying. So why you?"
It was a genuine question. There was no bite to her words. She was too tired to argue. She was just tired. And she wanted to know. She wouldn't be left in the dark any longer.

Elia set aside his armor carefully. She leaned forward to start working on the straps at his shoulders. She couldn't imagine what all of this weight felt like, how taxing it was. She never wanted to know.
She took a deep breath before speaking. She kept her voice low, any venom and anger weren't present. "Your father killed my family. I barely escaped with my life. I would have died if Madame Rosette hadn't taken me in." She reached across him to undo the straps on his other shoulder. "She promised me safety and security. She promised me pretty dresses and a full belly. I was nine. I thought that was the best thing I had ever heard since the night I had just had. And for awhile, it was great. I was taken care of. I had pretty dresses and a full belly. I was left alone to mourn. But it didn't last they way for long. Her sweet words turned to poison. She ordered me about, forcing me into chores from daybreak until midnight. I was lucky if I got food. This happy paradise had quickly become a nightmare and I had no idea what was happening or why. What had I done to deserve this?
"The first time I was punished, I received a broken arm. One of the other girls helped nurse me to health. The second time was a beating." She took a deep breath. "I was twelve when I got my first bleeding. I was expected to service a man after the week was done. She tried to force me to some man. I scratched him when he tried to touch me. I was dragged out by my hair and placed into a dark room below the brothel. It was so small I couldn't even fully stretch out. I was down there for three days without food or water. I was put down there many times until I finally learned to be compliant.
"I've had men promise me their love. I've had them promise that they would come back and buy me out, free me. I've had men promise they were going to save up to marry me. I've had men promise they would never hurt me. Each one of them lied to me. I have only ever known lies. Not once has anyone given me their truth and stuck to it."
Elia leaned back watching him before staring at her hands. "It's why I asked for the blood oath. Words mean nothing to me. I've heard too many of them in my life to trust them. A blood oath is permanent. It guarantees me protection. I understand I can't ask that of you and offer nothing in return. I will swear a blood oath to be loyal to you as long as I may remain in your service, as long as you swear to me your protection."

Elia ran her eyes over him, observing him. She wasn't subtle about it nor had she meant to. "Because at the end of the day it's all just pretty words. So far, everyone you have rescued is still here. I hope that you being truthful and that there are families lined up to take them in. But I don't know that. I haven't seen them. There's no one coming to take these kids away. How am I supposed to know that they truly are going to get a better life?"
She flexed her hands, itching for something. She wished she brought her wine with her. Instead, she reached for the armor clasped around his legs and started at the clasps, undoing them just like all the rest.
"I'm asking you to put yourself in my shoes. The others might trust you blindly but I have been through enough that I trust no one but myself. I've been through too much. If you value my intellect as much as you say you do, why won't you do this? It ensures both of our safety. It's the best bargain I've had in my entire life."

"You got me out yes, but at what cost? I keep expecting to be called to service you or any of your men. I don't know you. I don't know any of you. I don't what you're capable of. I don't know your motivations. I keep looking over my shoulder expecting the worst because I have only been given the worst.
She placed her hands on her lap as he stopped her. She picked at her nails as she watched him, listened to him. The irony wasn't lost on her. She almost laughed. This bargain benefitted him more than he would ever know because she couldn't tell him. She couldn't tell anyone. She would be risking everyone. She could only imagine the look on his face if she told him her identity. It would be hilarious. Until he killed her for it. And she didn't like not having the last laugh.
"My loyalty would prove more beneficial than you think it would. I've been underestimated plenty of times and yet I'm still standing. And there's a reason for that. I know how to survive." She needed to give him something. Something to gain a bit of his trust. "And a blood oath can only be preformed by a magic user. It's likely why no one has suggested it before. No one wants to get burned. I have a feeling you won't though. And lucky for you, I am perfectly capable of performing a blood oath."
She had never actually performed one but he didn't know that.
"If you value what I have to offer, at least consider it."

Technically, Elia was supposed to be queen. Part of her wanted to scream it at him. Then he would understand. But she couldn't. And he would never understand. No one ever understood.
"If you were going to kill me, you have done it already to be rid of me already. I'm a pain in your backside, we both know that. Anyone else in your position would have likely gotten rid of me by now, so I do appreciate that I am still alive. I wish I could make you realize the position I'm in but I can't. And doubt there is anything I could do to make you understand without compromising myself."
She pushed to her feet, standing. "It seems that we are at an impasse then. I don't understand why you wanted me to come with you. I can't imagine what you saw and decided that I should come with you. But I think we both know that was a mistake. My place is back in Madame Rosette's hand. All I ask for is enough provisions to get me back there. I can find my way back." Hopefully. She would either make it or she wouldn't but she had to try at least. "I wish I could say it's been a joy being here but I would be lying."
She stood there with her hands behind her back, looking up at him. She had a curvaceous body, wide eyes. She was soft and vulnerable. There was no way she could survive through the woods on her own. But despite her features, the young woman stood her ground. She did not tremble. She did not falter. She was strong.