Apocalypse rp (open for now!)

Tohru is very quiet this whole time. Watching other people struggle with panic attacks- or anything even remotely close to that really- put him in a difficult situation. He felt that pain. He felt it almost too intensely. Yet, in the meantime, Tohru fell into an uneasy half-asleep state, only fully waking up when Trianna returns. He's mostly relieved that she seems to he back in one piece, but he's also worried if she sticks around much longer, she could endanger them.

Cathal hums. “K…” he mutters.

"We appreciate it," Tohru says, sleepily raising his head from where it rested on his knees.
He hasn't moved since coming here.
"Hopefully we won't need those weapons too soon, though."

Cathal stays quiet, holding onto his dog. He didn’t like so many unknown people being around. He remembered his days before the apocalypse. When he knew what not fitting in felt like. Now however, no one fit in. He still started to feel out of place though. He sighs, looking at Tohru.

Tohru shakes his head.
"I've been keeping up with wound care well enough. I'm still up-to-date on tetanus vaccines. I'll be alright," he says, "It's just kind of all crashing down over me, now that I've kind of… emerged from this brain fog."
He glances over to Cathal.
"I'm sorry I couldn't- that I couldn't help. It makes me apprehensive. I… um… I used to have panic attacks literally all the time and it just- I feel you. Maybe a little too much."

He nods. “Its fine…im used it it anyways…besides i- dont like people talking while its going on…overwhelms me more…” he mutters. “Thanks though…im…sorry you had to go through that too…it sucks.”

Tohru draws in a deep breath and nods.
"Okay, noted," he replies, "I'll keep that in mind if it happens again."
His gaze flits back and forth between the two.
"I-I'm really fine," Tohru insists.
He's smiling, but it doesn't reach his eyes. The pain is less than before. He's in the clear for becoming infected. He's physically okay, but he feels like a lot of weight has fallen onto his shoulders.

Cathal looks at him and sucks in a breath. “Are you ok?” His voice was shaky and weak, but he still managed to sound way too loud.

Cathal nods. “If you want…you can use my air mattress…it’s more comfortable then a mat…”

Tohru stiffens a bit at the unexpected touch.
"I should've died out there," he laughs, bringing a palm to his face. "I left my family, my group left me… It was a matter of time."
He is too stunned still to cry.
"Noah… Cas… Aline… They're all gone… Just like that."
He shakes his head at the suggestion.
"No, I don't need somewhere comfier to sleep. I'll be alright on that front, but I appreciate the offer."

Cathal frowns, listening. “I…I’m so sorry…” he mutters.

"My parents sent me a call for help, and I denied them that help," Tohru says flatly, "Granted, we were… estranged. But still, I may as well have killed them."
He runs a hand through his hair, and it catches in a tangle.

Cathal sighs, “I understand what thats like…my…sibling got infected and-“ he pauses, staring off into the distance, only to snap back to reality once teddy licked his face.

Cathal nods, “Yeah…” he mutters.

"Sure," Tohru sighs, "but it's not them I miss."
He glances at his feet.
"I was stuck with friends, mostly. Professors. Adults I admired. People I formed strong bonds with. Some of them died early on. Others hung on until the end. And the last few left- well… they abandoned me in my grief."

Cathal frowns, then shoos teddy to go comfort Tohru since he himself was feeling better. “My…ex girlfriend was killed like that…and- my last friend had to leave me behind…it- wasn’t their fault…i was at deaths door…but i managed to escape and- i never saw them again…” he fidgets with some sort of toy, rocking slightly.

Teddy moves over to Tohru and snuggles into him, closing his eyes.

Tohru lets out another breath.
"It's my fault for not pulling the trigger sooner, or letting someone else do it. The second we knew Noah was infected, people lined up to mercy kill him. But I just- I couldn't let them do it, you know? They would've been in danger had we stayed there any longer, but I just didn't want to leave his side, no matter how selfish it might have been."
He paused for a second.
"But just because I deserved to be left behind doesn't make it hurt less."

Cathal sighs. “No one deserves to be left behind.”

"Well then… same goes to my dear old parents, right?" Tohru says cynically, "I got exactly what I dished out."
He pets Teddy a little bit.
"But regardless, I'm still here, I guess, and it'd be a waste to just go off and die since I made it through these past couple of weeks."

He nods. “The more of us, the more likely it is to recover…and you never know if there are still people who are…like us.”

Tohru raises his eyebrows a bit.
"Well- not in the literal, dumping me on the streets sense. But in a manner, I guess they did."
He relaxes a little.
"I can't help the guilt though."