me, closing the closet of my memories
Roger takes me to the car anyways, and I feel I must oblige or he'll shoot me or something. He pulls up to the ELife building,
"Are you aware of what happened in that building the other day?" he asks, sending anxiety up my spine. Would they cover up the murders completely or was it on the news? I should've checked. Better be safe than sorry then.
"Uh, no?" I say cautiously. "Why, what happened?" Jesus christ I hope I'm a good fucking actor.
Roger gazes knowingly at you for a few moments, dropping his arm that he used to point at the building. His grin grew bigger as he leans forward, a clearly evident smile plastered on his face. It was as if he somehow regained the ability to express emotions like a regular human as he whispers, "You're worse at lying than I am."
I squint at him. No I'm fucking not wha thte fuck ar eyou fucking talking about it's because you're a sack of robot shit innit??????????? huh??????/ you think ur better than me???????? fool. i will destroy you. His look intimidates me and I slink back slightly.
"Excuse me? And how do you know that?" I snap, my defense mode going up seeing as he somehow saw through me.
Roger curls his lips into a mischievous smirk, leaning back in the car as he shrugs.
"You just experienced a murder and you seemed to keep your composure quite well. Whether or not you're used to it, you should know to at least act a little surprised. You were creating an alibi as I asked you, you weren't remembering a traumatic experience."
Roger gazed at you carefully, furrowing his brow before gesturing to the building.
"Not only that, but there was security footage of you in the garage of that building the night of Hanson's assassination. Unfortunately, the footage of you inside the building yet to be recovered, which only adds to your suspicion."
Roger finishes by adjusting towards you and sighing heavily.
"Don't bother trying to defend yourself; I'm not going to turn you in."
I relax, muttering to myself, "Well fuck." Of course! What normal person would be so calm? But, for me, murder isn't the strangest thing I've witnessed.
Roger sighs, "Don't bother trying to defend yourself; I'm not going to turn you in."
I eye him curiously. "Oh, really? Why would a cop, out of all people, not turn me in?" I am a bit bewildered to be honest, but somehow he seems less frightening than before.
He looks down to the floorboard, exhaling through his mouth before closing it in thought.
"I heard you in that garage," He started, looking back up at you with sincerity. "You…lost your memory, right? You didn't know what was going on, and you felt like you were missing a good portion of your life."
He pauses, scratching behind his neck nervously.
"I don't know, I just didn't want to see you be pushed around by these people because of actions you've taken that you don't even remember and can't defend yourself for. It's not right."
He looked at you with a genuine forgiveness, but there was something else in his voice, something like…regret.
I meet his gaze for a few moments, reaching up to turn off the earpiece.
"I suppose I don't really want to be assisting murders for the rest of my life. I just want to- wait, you're apart of the government. You could help me, right?" I don't specify what exactly he would help with, because to be honest, I'm not sure. Kai said he'd get my memory back, so what else is there to help with? Maybe I just need to get away from the whole emotional serial killer scene.
Upon hearing your words, Roger gives you a sad smile.
"I…can try, what do you need?" He utters, his eyes growing a little shifty but otherwise his demeanor remained stoic as usual with him. However, he did sit up in interest at your question. Something about his reaction to your response made you feel like he was hiding something, but it was as if he was brushing it off like it didn't matter.
I inhale shakily. "Listen, I know I might be asking way too much of you, but I think I need a place to stay for the night. Everything's just overwhelming, yaknow?"
I hope that Roger trusts me, and that he is trustworthy. Jean and Anubis probably wouldn't care, but perhaps it will be nice to make another friend here. I'll make sure to tell them so they don't worry. Not that they would, Anubis could find me anywhere.
Roger relaxes his muscles, looking back to his feet for a moment before smiling softly and looking back up at you.
"I don't mind, do you want me to stop by anywhere so you can grab some belongings?"
He utters as he starts the car back up and starts driving away from the building, seeming a little tense for an unidentifiable reason.
"Nah, I don't have anything to begin with anyways. Oh, my real name is Jenny, by the way," I smile, still in awe over his half robotic side. I feel more at ease now that I don't have to hide much, but I'm praying Roger doesn't change his mind mid-way through. "Are you sure you're okay with this? I really appreciate it, but I don't want you to be uncomfortable," I say, eyeing his demeanor.
Roger furrows his brow at you, but shrugs off your question.
"Oh, no, I'm not uncomfortable, as long as you're comfortable. Of course, you'll sleep on the couch, if you're alright with that."
His eyes fall as he sighs, "I don't have any other beds."
I laugh, "Oh, please, I've been sleeping on couches for the past week. I think I'll be fine." Looking through the window, we pass several familiar buildings, but eventually Roger turns into new territory. I wonder where he lives. "Do you live alone, then?"
Roger looks down for a moment as he turns off the car, nodding his head.
"Yeah, my sister used to live with me, but she…" He paused, smiling sadly yet again. "She grew up." He says with a hint of pride in his voice.
He gets out of the car and leads you to the front door, opening it to find a bit of a smaller and less luxurious house than Jean. The living room sat to the front right of the door, the kitchen and dining room on the left. Down the hall were a few doors, but where they led, you weren't sure yet. The couch was a natural looking color, and actually looked comfortable; the kind of old couch that held many memories, and it somehow added comfort to it. Roger shakes off his jacket and hangs it at the door on the coat rack, placing the keys in a bowl that sat on a table at the door.
"It's not much, but it's where I live."
I look around the house at each decoration and furniture. It felt a lot cozier than Jean's house, more homely. "I like it," I say gently as I place a hand on the couch. "It gives off that warm, like, campfire sort of vibe. I dunno, I think I just prefer smaller houses."
I squint at Roger, wondering if he really didn't have more work to do. It occurs to me that he is quite human, which leads me to wonder how human the other cyborgs are. But, he's the only one with a noticeable technological side. I read his arm band earlier, and it had the numbers 0002 on it.
Roger turned to look at you as you spoke, giving you a warm smile.
"Campfire vibe? This is a house, I don't have a campfire, apologies."
He enters the kitchen and opens the fridge, pulling out an apple.
"Are you hungry? I don't really need to eat much, but I like to buy food in case my sister ever visits."
He tosses the apple in his hand, staring gently at it.
I accept the apple and take a bite. wow! it's sweet. as apples should be. nice. and cold. wow it's a rea l cold apple.
"I keep wondering if I have a brother or a sister. What's your sister like?" I ask as if his description would jog my memory. Hopefully Tyler can meet with me soon.
Roger sits down at the table and sighs heavily, a gentle grin resonating on his face as he thinks back.
"Her name's Astrid. She loves autumn and walking around town," he pauses as he furrows a brow. "I think we should get some sleep now, it's been a long day."
He stands up and makes his way to the couch, rearranging the pillows in a way you could sleep better as he tosses a few blankets onto the couch.
I nod to Roger in gratitude, and we exchange our goodnights as he heads to his room, wherever that is. I fall on the couch only to realize I still have my earpiece in. I turn it on, wondering if Jean and Anubis are still on the other end.
"Hello?"
"Jenny? Why the fuck did you turn off your shit? And where the hell are you?" Anubis replies in anger, but I'm pretty sure he can't care less what happens to me. He sounds awfully tired.
"Is, um, Daniel listening too? I just wanna apologize. I'll be back as soon as I can, and I didn't rat you guys out or anything. Sorry for any trouble I caused."
Anubis sighed heavily, clearly exasperated.
"GG's asleep. This whole thing stressed him out so he got high again which made him tired."
There was a bit of a pause before Anubis continues.
"I don't really care what you do, but what do you want me to tell him?"
I groan, rubbing my forehead. Of course he got high again. Nice going, Jenny.
"I mean, I don't know. You know him better than I do. Just tell him that we didn't get caught. That's probably what matters most anyways. And I'm sorry. That too. And thanks, A," I mutter quietly. Guilt overwhelms me, but I hope they'll forgive me.
Anubis is quiet for a few moments, possibly in thought.
"Alright, well, whatever. I'm going to sleep so I'm turning off my earpiece." The other end was silent after that. Roger's room was silent as well, leading you to believe he went to sleep, or whatever form of sleep he does.
I roll my eyes when Anubis hangs up before I can say goodnight. Damn, why'd I have to make him such a bitch?
and now i go to sleep give me the dreams!
North, West, South, East, where are you going? Are you going North? You're certainly not going South.
Turn around, you're surrounded by smoke. Gun smoke? Marijuana smoke? Campfire smoke? Fire is the only certain thing right now.
You've gone far North, but East gazes at you longingly. Do you see the West?
Check your compass, it only provides smoke; that is, if you can see it.
You hear the keys. The front door opens and closes.
It is not snow, it is ash. Try not to choke on the dust, it could clog your lungs. You are safe now. Trust me. It is in my hands as it always has been.
"Please don't think any less of me. I just don't want to be like him."
"Please don't think any less of me. I just want you to be happy."
"Please don't think any less of me. I just want to be myself again."
He's pointing the gun at you again. You know who it is now.
"Forgive me."
BANG!
You jolt awake, feeling a little cold in the house. It felt empty. Is Roger home?
I lift myself up and off of the couch, hoping to wake up enough to shake off the dream. At this point, I'm positive they mean something, but I don't know what they mean. Or maybe I do.
Am I allowed to help myself to breakfast? Will his sister randomly visit? Somehow, I doubt it. I open the fridge hesitantly. Maybe Roger is home, and I can ask? But, I don't know where it'd be. Should I call Kai?
As you open your phone, you notice a text from a number that wasn't saved.
"Hey, it's Anubis. Figured you didn't have our number so I figured out what yours was. Text here if you need anything."
You decide to ignore the message for now, but felt a bit better knowing you had a way to communicate with him now. You find Kaiholo's number and dial the number, listening to it ring only once before he picked up.
"Are you okay?" He asks immediately upon answering.
"Are you going to ask that every time I call you?" I snicker. "I'm actually being slayed by a dragon right now, but he wanted me to tell you I said hi and that he apologizes in advance for stabbing me." I close the fridge and start to circle around Roger's house, inspecting pictures of what I assume to be his family. I grin ever-so-slightly. "I'm okay, Kai. Are you?"
Kaiholo gasps, and you could hear him almost jump to his feet in the tone of his voice.
"You're what? Oh, my God, I didn't even know dragons were real, but maybe it's just-" Your reassuring voice interrupts him.
"I'm okay, Kai. Are you?"
Kaiholo exhales, relieved.
"As long as you're okay, I'm okay." He utters, his voice more relaxed. "So, what do you need?"