dis private yo

I think about the computer in my bag I was about to pull out, but his secrecy intrigued me. Staring back, I exclaim, "Sorry. Guess you'll just have to let me use yours. Unless you're just so good at hacking. Which, I presume, you're not. Otherwise I wouldn't be here. I bet you use Trojan Horse Virus."
Before he could reply, I swiftly swipe his laptop away. As I opened it, I saw he had a password. Thinking fast, I had a hunch that he would keep his password as the one he would use when we were kids. When I typed it in, the computer dinged a sweet "access granted."
"Jean… cutecats123? Are you serious? How can you have such a shitty password and not a cat picture on the desktop with it? Who even are you anymore? That's going to have to change."

big yall
"The Black King? That's a pretentious title for someone who merely kills. What's his M.O.?"
I burn the entire apartment down because ur supposed to pull out the newspaper.
I carefully place the glass into the sink as I attempted to recall his methods. "The Black King," I say with a hint of mockery, "likes to leave this symbol on the ceiling. A chess piece. They always stab the victim's heart, and leave no other traces. How they get into the house, the police don't know - there are no signs of trespassing. My guess is either the killer is invited in, so maybe one of those door seller guys? Or the killer knew their victims. Or, the killer picked a lock and definitely went in through a door. Hmm, what route do you think we should do? Because, of course, the holy-number-one killer is standing right in front of me."

"The cookies in prison are delicious though," I snickered, installing my hacking software. Jean leaves the room before I can tell him what type of weapon he would need. I sigh a breath of relief, and slump to my usual posture. I knew my skills were equal to Jean, but sometimes I couldn't help but feel like I needed to prove myself to him. I shake off the insecurity, remembering the things I could do.
The software downloads rather quickly, and I rush into hacking the city's police records. Although it is nearly impossible to be able to hack without a trace, I manage to write off any infiltration as a glitch.
"Victim has stab wound, most likely by a kitchen knife, in the heart. Symbol on ceiling points towards usual serial killer, the 'Black King.' Computer and a couple other electronics were stolen. No sign of DNA anywhere inside the home. A fingerprint was found on the front doorknob, however it does not match anybody in the records. Autopsy data has not come. No known witnesses."
I smile at the fingerprint note. An idea pops into my head - what if we somehow took his fingerprints, and frame the infamous killer on our kill?

shut the FUCK up get the FUCK outta here i dont wan a hear it
I rubbed my forehead, thinking about the information in the email. "If we do it in the daytime, we run the risk of her not being home or opening the door. It's better to do it at night, since this client is so sure she is home during those early dawn hours. As for if she lives with anyone, the email doesn't say." I tapped my fingers on the table for a few moments. "I can check her security system and see if anyone other than her seems to be coming in frequently."
My eyes flickered to my bag, which carried my computer. But, there was something I wanted to check on Jean's computer. "I didn't bring my laptop…" I muttered, holding back a smirk.

I jump at Jean's voice.
Totally weird, since I don't get scared anymore. Funny how the tables have turned.
I straighten my back and flip him off. "I saw that eye roll. Anyways," I exclaim, then proceed to tell Jean my findings. "So what do you think? Fingerprint and kitchen knife? We could even put the fingerprint somewhere less noticeable so that it doesn't seem like a framing. Let's add something just slightly crazy though. This feels beyond boring. Hmm," I tap my fingers aggressively on the island. "Ah ha! We take half of the girl's liver, leave bite marks on her, somehow get the Black King to eat the liver without him ever seeing, then stay in this apartment for awhile because it'll be suspicious if you leave right away, and boom! The money is all ours!" My eyes widen with the old murderous look I used to have all the time.
I snatch the whiskey and take a gulp straight from the bottle, then proceed to smirk at Jean.

and a sick sick look cuz i LIKE IT THO
"Don't patronize me," I shook my head, making my way to the couch. I could feel Jean's eyes watching me warily as I brought his slick gray laptop back to the table. Upon opening it, the screen prompted for a password. Perfect. I cracked my knuckles, pretending to think. Before Jean could mention his password, I typed something in. When the computer let me in, I started laughing. "Cutecats123! GG, I can't believe you're still the same person you were 20 years ago. I must say," I said between laughs, "I'm quite disappointed. How can you have such a password and not a cat picture on the desktop with it?"
I proceeded to shut his laptop and take mine out. If looks could kill, Jean's expression would have sent me straight to hell. "Sorry, I don't want to go through downloading shit on your computer."

"Jean! Listen! When have my ideas ever failed? Even when I got arrested, it was the other dumbass's fault! Not mine! Plus it's fun! I know you secretly enjoy the idea of biting a dead body! I'm kidding, I'm hoping we could get some of the killer's saliva, and also hope he's got a retainer we can replicate. Did you know 75% of kids need braces?" I raise both of my gay eyebrows, hoping to convince Jean I knew what I was doing.
I casually take another swig of whiskey before splashing the rest of it on Jean. "That was risky for me, right? But I know you won't kill me, because I know what I'm doing." I take a bow at my fabulous example, then mentally prepare to start hiding. Note to self, don't mess with murderers for god's sake.

i was exaggerating

"Just do what you need and we'll finish this. The sooner I don't have to deal with you the better," Jean scowled. As the programs began to work their way into Annie's security cameras codes, I sighed and try to ignore his over-the-top drinking. How much was he hurting right now? Knowing Jean, he didn't feel anything really, but maybe it was different this time? I started to question him, but other words came out instead.
"How's Prince?" I murmured, waving Jean over to watch the security clips. Sure enough, Annie wasn't alone. Most nights she brought another man with her. Just another victim, then. I focused on looping the cameras at a certain time while awaiting Jean's response.

I let him grab my wrist, instead of running away. "Technically, this is an apartment that you'll move out of soon," I smile, untouched by his usual intimidation. Sorry, Jean, but you'll have to try harder if you want to scare me.
"Well, we're wasting time here. Let's get this shit done, GG," I rip my arm out of his grasp and bolt into another room before he can react.

screams in time skip. day of the murder lets gooooo
"See, I told you he would have a retainer. And there's already saliva on it!" I nudged Jean as we snuck towards the woman's house. Hairnets, gloves, and masks were on us. Adrenaline soared through my veins like always. After this murder, I could stop living in Jean's apartment. "Damn, this ain't a house, it's a mansion. No wonder the woman cheated."
At this time of night, no one was around. I had already looped any possible security camera on the block. We even walked most of the way here to avoid any signs of us being in the city. It was time.

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I eyed his drink, thinking about whether he'd be sober enough to do the job tonight.
I knew he asked where I had been, but I pretended to not hear. As much as I'd like to go on and on about my experiences, my adventures, I wanted to tell him when we were on a good note. Not in the middle of a murder case, and definitely not right after meeting for the first time in four years after I took the lives of his family.
To be honest, whether Jean felt confused or not, I still slightly believed that I was dreaming, that Jean was still dead. I wouldn't be surprised if I was going crazy after all. Maybe the psychiatrist was right.
I took a deep breath. "One person for each of us. Maybe we'll get a bonus for killing the man who stole our client's girl." Slamming the laptop shut, I took Jean's drink and proceeded to splash the remainder on his face. "Get drunk some other time. We have things we need to do."

I nod my head, acknowledging his stupid gesture. I am not an amateur.
Slowly, we creep up the stairs. I lead the way into a set of double doors in which I assumed was the master bedroom. I open the door as gradually as I can, however the door creaks anyways. I could feel Jean staring daggers into my neck.
Annie Valentino was laying peacefully on her bed - with another guy - clothed, thank god.
"Fuck," I mutter under my breath. "Change of plans." I snatch the second knife from Jean's waistband, silently thanking his preparedness. We made our way to each side of the bed. Steadily, we lift the blanket from the sinners and simultaneously covered the victims' mouths to prevent them from screaming when they awake. I count to three.
"One… two… three," the two of us swiftly aim for the hearts and plunge the knives into their chests. The couple's eyes shot open in fear. Attempted screams were muffled by our hands. In about two minutes, the victims stopped breathing. Blood splurted out of the wound and stained the knife.
"That was inconvenient. Now, let's get to the fun part!" I smiled at Jean, pulling the knife out of the man. "What a bonus! We both got our own murder!"

helloo
I looked up at Jean, who's still angry at me, but it only made me snicker. "So, I had an idea. This feels beyond boring. Hmm," I tap my fingers on the table. "Ah ha! We'll take the couple's - hmm - liver. Just to spice things up, and maybe make the Black King angry because now everyone thinks he takes livers." I placed my hand on my hips in confidence. How fun will a murder be with my long lost best friend?

I stared at the wonderful mess I made, however I had to hurry this up before the bodies start to majorly smell. I placed each half of the livers in a paper bag, then proceeded to make the bite marks on the woman and the man with the saliva filled retainer. A feeling of euphoria rose in my body, sending strange chuckles through me.
"Let's go burn these beauties. Burn everything, Jean, even your clothes." I shot a smile at him. "I think we make a good team, no?"

I wonder how I'm going to break the news to Jean, that this wasn't our last job together.

new shit
Jean's bewildered reaction made me grin wider. "Don't worry GG, leave it all to me. We'll be using gloves anyways."

day of the le murdererererer
I scan the neighborhood, locking eyes on the house owned by Annie. It was a mansion. The security cameras have been looped, and Jean and I were covered head-to-toe in clothes. It's impossible to get caught. Everything we needed sits in my backpack. We headed up to the front door and I motioned to Jean. He nodded and bent down to the doorknob, working away at the keyhole until it finally clicks. And as simple as that, we're in.
Four in the morning, the couple were likely to be asleep. We tip-toe in stealthily, eyeing every corner and every room. "Bedroom upstairs," I mouthed and led Jean up the stairs to the room. I oiled the door hinges before slowly opening the door. Can't risk light-sleepers. Jean pulled out two slightly dull knives and handed one to me. We each take a side of the bed.

My heart sank, just a little. Do I bother telling him? For some strange reason, I kept thinking that maybe, just maybe, he was glad to see me again? No, he hates me because of what I did. He didn't laugh at my jokes, he hasn't even smiled since I came.
I reach up and rub my neck. "Yeah, about that…
"No, never mind. I'll tell you later, we have to leave as fast as we can. Okay?" We were silent on our way out. Finally, the two of us were out of the rich neighborhood. "Oh, GG? Why do you still hate me for what I did? You know that was years ago. It wouldn't hurt to be a little nice to me, I mean, what has been happening in your life? You used to tell me everything. Now you're a robot"
I knew it was stupid to even bring it up. No one could ever forgive someone for the death of their loved ones. It was useless asking for forgiveness from a man like Jean. What is this, regret? What is going on?

yuck
After successfully killing the man, I moved to his abdominal region. ugh this is gonna be gross.
I took the knife and slit three lines into his stomach, in the shape of an H. Blood immediately gushes out, spilling over the sides to forever stain the white sheets. I pulled my glove further up my arm and opened the skin. In my head, I reminded myself where the liver was and my hand dug right in. It was like reaching into a a bowl of wet spaghetti, every little organ sliding around, soaking into my glove. My eye twitched, but there was the twisted smile on my face. i lick my fingers. no im kidding okay um.
I ripped out the liver and carefully put it into a separate bag. I looked up to Jean, who started on the Black King mark. "I take it you don't want to slice up Annie?" I chuckled, making my way to the other side of the bed to repeat the process.
just so u know im throwing up right now

His angry silence and monotone voice crawled under my skin. "I- Well-" Oh god, I was stuttering for real this time. It wasn't a fake prank anymore, like when I first called Jean on the phone.
I was someone with tough skin, able to intimidate anyone. People went as far to call me psychotic. But, all my life I had been alone, left with my own thoughts. And with those thoughts, I came to a perfect solution: murder.
But, then I met Jean.
Wow, these feelings I kept locked away since birth have risen up and at the worst possible time. What's next, tears? Man the fuck up, Anubis.
I broke first, slightly hoping that my fury would instigate his. "I knew you would say that. You're such a fucking robot, you know that? Damn, what's it going to take for you to fucking forgive me? You didn't even like your family! I heard you complaining all the time! If anything, I did you a goddamn favor!"

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I nodded to Jean, indicating that I was finished with the extra part. As usual, there was a small ball of anxiety rolled up in my stomach. "Let's go burn these beauties. Burn everything, Jean, even your clothes," I smirked, visions of a blazing fire in my eyes. I already had a lighter in my pocket.
"We make a good team," I added quietly as I threw on my backpack. My eyes didn't meet Jean's for some reason. Perhaps because the mission was finished, and it was time for us to depart.
That is, if I didn't accept the next job. Of course, I've lied to Jean a million times, so this time is okay, right?

yuh turtles

ayeee
The silence clawed at my brain, leaving a whirlwind of questions in my head. What do I even say?
"I can't believe you're actually alive," I said in almost a whisper. It wasn't what I wanted to say at all, but there was still the fear that I was hallucinating. After all, the psychiatrist told me it was possible with my current mental state. "Are you really pissed because you're family is dead?"
I kept my eyes glued in front of me.

Suddenly, my legs stopped. It was like I lit a small campfire inside of me, only I accidentally burned a piece of grass, setting off a smoking wildfire. I couldn't walk, because walking required strength. "So all your stupid anger towards me was because you hated yourself? God! And I thought I was emotionally unstable! Hear me out, Jean. No one gives a flying fuck that you didn't like your family, because you know what? Family sucks sometimes. Not everyone has loving parents and shit. And - and that's o…kay.."
I was talking like a therapist, and it shocked me. It shocked me that I still empathized with another soul. Perhaps it was only because he killed people too. Thankfully, I stopped myself before I could further embarrass my ego.

"Bye, Anubis."
I shifted my legs, but I couldn't walk. I just kept my eyes on the ground and muttered loud enough so he could hear. "We have another job together, actually. This one is different though." Taking a deep breath, I pull myself together and run to catch up with Jean.
"We aren't murdering some petty girl, but this is a request by the government. They noticed our skills, which seems sketch because we should be in jail… but you know how it is. Corruption and all that. They want us to infiltrate a base in Europe to steal some information? Or something? I wasn't told of too many details in case we declined. It's paying a shit load of money, so I don't think it will be wise to decline, GG. Plus, all the benefits and new job offers we could get. Imagine all the cool weapons they'll give us!" Somehow I managed to close the emotion gate shut, and my voice perked up. If he didn't need my help, I wouldn't offer any. I obviously helped enough, anyways. Tsk.

yallllll
"Are you really going to bring that up?"
I snapped my head towards him, my voice raising ever so slightly. He doesn't look at me. I ignore his comment and keep going. "You can't possibly tell me you miss your family? The one you hated so much?"
I remember seeing Kris.
His blank, knowing face.
There's no way Jean could ever love him.

"You've already accepted it, didn't you?" I return Jean's stare with a smirk.
"Hell yeah, baby! What we if get machine guns? Or, better yet, cool outfits and shit? We can also improve on our spying and stealth, and our speed, and basically all of our stats. Just say yes, GG. Please. If something bad happens, we'll get out of it together!"
I was beyond excited. I accepted the offer because I didn't know if Jean would say yes, so I figured, why not force him to? There were a lot of risks and questions, but what's life without a little bit of fun?

loops
I raise my eyebrows at him, sick of his excuses. "Family don't leave you with bruises and black eyes. Just because you share the same DNA, doesn't mean jack shit and you fucking know this! If anything I did you a goddamn favor!" At some point I must have stopped walking, because now I was simply facing Jean in pent-up anger. My eye twitched, and my fists were clenched. I so badly wanted to reach into my pocket and pull out the lighter.

I raised my eyebrows at his sudden cooperation. Anny? That's new. It was terrible boring, but I grinned anyways.

time skip to a really long time later
I stepped into an office with body guards following behind, but they weren't there to protect me. A woman in a black suit with wavy, black hair sat behind the desk. She had a serious expression on her face, similar to Jean's, but more intimidating. I carefully sat down into one of the two stiff chairs. The office was rather bland, with the usual paperwork on the desk and shelves on the side. A small golden name tag sat next to the woman's computer, but it was facing her. I spotted an M.
"Anubis, right? Is Jean on his way?" she spoke with a sophisticated voice.
"Yes, ma'am." I adjusted my tie and shifted in the chair uncomfortably. Jean, where the fuck are you?
"While we wait, we'll have to discuss contracts and such… actually we can have lawyers do that for you, no? When Jean arrives, let's talk about your job. I don't want to regret assigning you boys."
I nodded my head, and a sense of relief ran through me when I heard the door open behind me. The familiar black-haired man strolled in.

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If words were daggers, Jean's was probably a thumb tack because honestly? weak sis.
I stared at him in disgust. "Oh so it's my fault that you don't feel anything!" I retaliated, tempted to fucking hit him or something. "News flash, Jean, whether they're breathing or not, your feelings about them would never change. They're going to die one way or the other and you're going to be the same cold, heartless asshole you've always been! Fuck you for blaming your issues on everyone else! And fuck you for being so weak that you couldn't stand up to your own stupid family. You can't help people who are ignorant!"
By the end, my voice had basically given out from yelling. I was panting hard, and my fists were clenched to the point that my nails dug deep into my skin. My eye was twitching, but I refused to break eye contact with Jean.

I tried to relax now that Jean was here, but my fingers still flinched at any type of movement from Michelle.
"This is the plan. You will stay here for a week, so that we can get fake ID's and such for you to be able sneak into the government building. Anubis, I trust that you will be able to hack into their system and make it so that you two are new workers. Do not let them question anything. You will also learn to speak in an accent, of course. We will teach you everything you need to know in a week.
"Now, the actual mission. We will fly you to an abandoned area in Great Britain. You will have to find a way in yourself, and we will send with you coordinates of the building. Inside that building, there are some documents you'll need to steal. We will send you the room of that, too…"
Michelle continued on and on for ages, and I nearly spaced out. For once, I was relying on Jean to pay attention, if we're being completely honest here. I perked up at her last couple words.
"The last thing I need you to steal is a special weapon they're creating. The issue is, we don't know what it is, or if it exists, but that is what you two are there for. After all that, you will need to stay at the job for a couple of months so that the government officials there aren't suspicious. We will lose connection with you after, so you'll have to buy tickets back to America on your own. This is for the best, but I assume you are perfectly capable, no? Any questions?"
I hesitated, processing the gigantic load of information. I looked back and forth between Michelle and Jean. "What about living arrangements?"
"That will be taken care of for you. Of course, we are low on budget so you will not have the luxury of having different rooms in Europe. However, while you stay at this facility, you may enjoy the rooms here. Anything else?" I shook my head and waited for Jean's response.

ok so after this reply i think everything else is around the same except the drunk scene and if you wanna redo any others lemme know cuz i cant remember all the scenes
I stared at him as he walked off. No. No, no, no, not again. Don't leave me, GG. It feels worse knowing you're alive to hate me.
I laughed it off, calling to him. "That's a shame, because the government decided to recruit the both of us. I imagine the pay is better than this job, too." Stop walking. Turn around. Please.