dis private yo

I don't know how I managed to drive us home, but as soon as I pulled into the parking lot, I started to lose my vision. Dizziness reigned my head as I parked in the closest parking spot and immediately got out of the car, slamming the door and trying to half-run to the door. I heard Anubis get out of the car and start yelling at me, for whatever reason.
"Hey! Push me away all you want, I don't care, but I don't just have some back-up place to go to when you don't wanna see…" His voice grew muffled. Am I that far from him? I couldn't have run that far. No, I'm losing consciousness. I try to hold myself together as I grab my head and turn to Anubis to explain myself, not really knowing what to say anyway.
"I didn't-" I'm not sure if I ever finished my sentence.

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm i'm really debating on writing a dream but i'd have to be tripping and traumatized to write an accurate jean dream sorry

My eyes flicker open slowly, dizziness still hanging in the back of my head as the fuzzy vision slowly fades. I'm on the edge of the bed in the room, on my stomach. I push myself up to scan the room and look for Anubis. He stood in the doorway as if he was about to walk in, but paused upon seeing me awake. He and I stare at each other for a few moments before I ask, "How long?"

blocked and reported

"Why didn't you say anything? You could've at least let me drive you home."
I roll my eyes and turn over to look next to me. Did Anubis place a bowl next to the bed? It's empty, but I wonder if he was preparing ahead for something.
"Say something? I'm fine, Anubis. You should go to sleep."
I say as I eye the clock and stand up, approaching the dresser to take off my shirt and take down my hair.
"I'll go shower and get back to bed, but we have work tomorrow and we can't lose sleep for any reason."

I pull out my lighter from my pocket as I light the cigarette, not really bothering to ask Anubis where he got it from and why he had it on hand. Instead, I walk to the door that led to the porch and place the cigarette in my mouth, inhaling the fumes as the fuzziness and nausea gradually faded away. Immediately I felt relieved from the pressure in my head and the stress weighing on my chest. Anubis was talking, but I wasn't really listening to him as I crack open the door in the back of the room and exhaled the smoke outside.
"I haven't exactly figured out how to get into the guy's office, but one step at a time, right?"
I turn back to look at Anubis as I place the cigarette back between my lips.
"We never addressed the elephant in the room."
I muttered, thinking back to the last conversation I had with Anubis. That is, the one that would have started if I didn't pass out in front of him.
"How are you taking that?"

"I don't really think this is about me."
Anubis said in a huff, causing me to raise an eyebrow at his tone of voice. I'm sure normal people by now would be breaking down emotionally. After travelling to a different country that's on the other side of the world, after having to work with each other for the first time in years because of an incident that the both of them forgot about momentarily, there would be a lot of stress under both parties.
But we're not normal people.
I open the door again to exhale more fumes into the sky.
"It's not about anyone." I murmur, closing the door and turning back to face Anubis.
"The world doesn't exist to please you. Doesn't exist to please me, doesn't exist to please anyone. We do what we can to get by."
I know I'm about to go off on a tangent, so I return to the topic at hand.
"Anyway, I'm curious. What went through your head? Obviously this is the first time we were in the same room when the day came and went, so let's just pretend for a moment that it's today. What are you thinking about?"

"Everything. What happened. What I should've done. What I shouldn't have done. How I could have forgotten. How you could've forgotten. What about you?"
The relief from the cigarette quickly settled into my bones as I inhaled the last of it, listening to Anubis's words as I blow out the final puff of smoke outside. I press the cigarette butt onto the ash tray before adjusting my stance to lean onto the wall. Crossing my arms, I think back to last year; what I was thinking about, what I did, and how I felt.
The problem is, I used it as an excuse to get high.
"I visit their graves." I muttered. "I don't bring them any flowers or anything, though. Thought it'd be hypocritical."
I walk past Anubis in hopes that he wouldn't ask further about my lie.
"I'm going to shower. We need to sleep."

i turned the water rlly hot to simulate burning in hell

why are they frogs

I stared at the bodies that lay sprawled across the floor, blood spreading and staining the floors. I could smell smoke. Suppose Anubis did that. I didn't want to be blamed for the fire, so I stumbled to the kitchen, tripping downstairs to the basement. The pipes all lay in a puzzle. I didn't know which one was the gas pipe, so I grabbed a random one and pulled as hard as I could. It didn't budge. I turned my head, looking for a tool. A wrench lay on the floor, so I grabbed it and tried to carefully put it in place, widening my eyes so I could focus my vision. I inhaled deeply and pulled with all my might. It twisted. I kept twisting before gripping the wrench and yanking it towards me again, stumbling backwards as I didn't prepare for it to give so easily. I took a few sniffs, immediately smelling gasoline stinging my nose. The smell of the smoke hadn't reached the basement, but I had to take a deep breath of gasoline and oxygen before entering the house again.

I blinked my eyes as I came to the realization that I covered for Anubis that day. The water hammered on my back as I recapped that night. I stopped myself before I thought about the struggle of getting past the flames to the nearest door.

I scribble the towel through my hair and toss it onto the holder that hung on the wall next to me. After climbing into my pants, I leave the bathroom and enter the bedroom, pausing as I notice Anubis was already asleep.
I wonder what he thought when he left.
I wonder when he left.
I wonder what he did when he left.
I realized I was staring, so I sigh and climb into bed, already reaching unconsciousness.

My heart is racing, I can feel the soles of my shoes hitting the ground quickly as I run, faster and faster. I feel…small. I run into wood. Not bark from a tree, but evenly cut wood. A tree-house. I'm holding something small in my hand.
"Jean!"
I turn around. There's a man on the wall. He hung his head low with his arms stretched out.
Something is burning.
I start to feel dizzy, I lose my balance.
The floor caves under me and I don't know when I'll find it when-
"What the fuck do you think you're doing?!" I snap, standing up to see a snickering Anubis. The vague memories of the dream starts to fade as I grow distracted from the fact that my back hurts from hitting the hard ground.
"Maybe if you were nicer to me, I'd wake you up normally," In a fit of anger, I grab a pillow and chug it at Anubis. He laughs harder at that, so I give up on getting back at him. At least he woke me up, I forgot to set an alarm.
"Eggs for breakfast!" He chimes, heading to the kitchen as he starts preparing breakfast. I inhale and exhale deeply, wondering if I should let myself relax for a moment, or if I should remain alert. I know I'm already too relaxed because of the cigarette Anubis gave me, but I wanted, just for a moment, to experience a real moment of serenity. Maybe, just now. While Anubis is distracted with making breakfast.
I sit down on the chair as my eyes shift to look at Anubis. I sigh and close my eyes, allowing a gentle grin to emerge.

I opened my eyes as the sound of the plates hitting the table.
"Sorry, I couldn't make them with the shit you like. I was in a hurry last night."
I watch Anubis sit down and begin eating his eggs, almost like an autopilot. The lengths this guy would go through for me, God knows he's not altruistic, but he's certainly been showing some virtue recently. You'd think he'd run at the first sign of a responsibility, but he hasn't. I suppose it's because he wants a high paycheck, so he'll do what he can to keep us at a hundred percent, but how would eggs play into that?
"Thanks, Anubis." I mutter before starting on my own plate.

"Depends." I mutter, rubbing the back of my neck roughly in hopes to ease some tension in my shoulder. "Is it the same as yesterday?" It wasn't until we got out of the parking lot that I realized Anubis was driving. I wonder if he drove himself around or if he took the bus. I wonder how often he actually left his house. Upon thinking about the monotony of yesterday, I already started to dread whatever work I had today. I wanted to do field work because I get restless and have to go out and do some physical activity.

I looked out my window as Anubis ranted about me not listening to him. Droplets of rain started to dot the glass and rush down to the bottom as we drove, the drops reaching a slight curve as Anubis sped the car through the highway.
"It's your fault we're doing this anyway. I never said I wanted to." I muttered under my breath, half hoping that Anubis didn't hear, but not really caring. I wondered if he'd get heated this early in the morning, right before we go in to work.

"I just need you to meet me right after lunch starts at the elevators. This is a time-based thing."
Anubis's body language seemed to relax in tensity, causing the thin air to dissipate. I scratch my chin, trying to think of a question as the car slows to a stop at an intersection.
"What if I'm hung up on something?" I mutter, turning my head to look at Anubis.

dan is depressed