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Marianne hurriedly shoved her books into her locker, grabbing her lunch and her phone and shutting the door. She turned around, eyes scanning the hallway for Mare.
Mare stared at her thin face in the bathroom mirror. She looked so utterly exhausted it hurt to see. She scoffed at herself and exited the bathroom, heading down to the canteen. She figured Marianne would meet her there– at least, she didn't have the courage to go seek her out.
Mare was nowhere to be seen, so Marianne reasoned with herself that she just have gone to the cafeteria already— nothing had happened to her. Unconvinced and very worried, she rushed to check, and felt a rush of relief when she spotted her in the corner, at their usual table. She made her way over, doing her way to seem casual and relaxed. “Hey, Mare. How was third period?”
Mare looked up with dread when she heard Marianne walk up to the table.
Mare shrugged awkwardly. "Nothing special. How about you?"
She looked so tired…. and unhappy to see her.
This is your fault. You made her feel like this.
“Mare?” She sat down some distance away, so as not to make her uncomfortable. “What did I do? I want to know so I can fix my mistake. I want to apologize for what I did to make you feel like this.”
Mare's heart broke at Marianne's expression. "Oh my god." Her head dropped onto the table. "No, Marianne, you haven't done anything at all. You did everything you had to yesterday. It's just… One of those days?" she tried.
Marianne would have melted with relief— if only she’d believed the last part of Mare’s statement. “You’re going to have to try harder than that to convince me, Mare. I can’t— I know I can’t make you tell me— but I’m worried. I want to know how to help.”
"It's gonna take more than a supportive girlfriend to fix me, no matter how amazing she is," Mare said quietly, staring at Marianne.
“And I understand that. Of course I do. But there must be some way I can make it better— whatever ‘it’ is.” Marianne met her gaze, wishing that she could reach out and take her hand.
Mare inhaled, debating whether or not it was wise to tell Marianne anything. "I really don't think anyone can do anything. I have to deal wih it, it's my extra effort," she said, getting slightly worked.
Mare seemed to be getting agitated, so she quickly laid off. "I'll leave you alone about it, sorry for being pushy," she said quickly, opening her lunch.
Mare shook her head, frustrated. "I– no, you're not being pushy. I don't– it's not…" Mare leaned back in her chair. "Forgive my lack of social skill."
"Hey, it's fine, don't worry about it, we can avoid the subject," Marianne reassured her quickly, offering a calming smile. "What classes did you have this morning?"
"Uh, English then Calc." Mare straightened, staring at her tray of food. "How about you?"
“Chemistry, then History,” she replied, pulling out her sandwich and taking a bite. Subtly studying Mare, she ‘accidentally’ bumped her tray of food closer. “Oh— sorry!”
Mare smiled. She reached for an orange and started peeling it. The skin got beneath her nails and her hands were soon sticky, knotting her stomach. "The new History teacher is quite good."
“Yeah,” Marianne agreed, taking a sip of her water. “I hate our Chem teacher though… which reminds me, we have detention after school today, ugh.”
Mare rolled her eyes. "Don't remind me. Although, he made it shorter, didn't he? Why do you think he did?" She swallowed a bite of her apple.
Marianne gave a one-shouldered shrug, draining her water. "No idea. Maybe he pitied the poor students? Although I doubt it…"
Mare laughed shyly. "Who knows I guess." She leaned forward, sighing loudly. "Wonder who'll be in detention tonight."
Finishing off her lunch, Marianne rested her elbows against the top of the table. "Just us, hopefully. I'm not looking forward to being stuck in the same room as three other students for– how long was it again?"
"Three hours?" Mare ran a hand through her hair. She glanced over at Marianne; she looked thoughtful.
She groaned, covering her face with her hands. "Oh god…. I'm lucky my tennis got cancelled this week or I'd be getting hell from my coach."
Mare nodded understandingly. "I had to delay my ballet session." She thought about it. "I'm going to finish dance at 10 tonight."
Marianne frowned slightly. “Are you going to eat that late?”
Mare shrugged. "I'll probably be asleep before I get the chance to eat," she said without thinking.
Merde. Way to be obvious. she scolded herself.
Marianne's frown only deepened. "Mare, you've got to eat. You're a ballerina, that requires fuel."
Mare snorted. "Ballerina is such a ridiculous word." She shook her head, wearing a clumsy smile.